aggresive 5 year old

[erinty]

I have a wonderful 5 year old child he is smart funny imaginative and loving.  But i just don't know what is going on with him.  He is very defiant, he argues with me about everything i tell him to do, he seems to think the rules don't apply to him.  He gets angry very easily and physically lashes out at other kids and my 7 year old daughter. He seems to meet qualifications for many disorders including add, odd, social anxiety disorder intermittant explosive disorder and possibly copbd.  I am taking him for a pysch eva, but i am afraid they may tell me to put him on medication which i am very hesitant to do.  Depression bi-polar, and anxiety disorders run rampant in my family.  I just want him to be happy, and to grow up having a happy fulfiling life.  I try not to spank as i think this reinforces agressive behavior, i have tried time out but he kicked his bedroom window out, flipped his tv off the dresser, and destroyed his room.  Recently our cat had kittens and one of them scratched him so he threw the kitten against the wall causing it to have a seizure and a broken leg.  I punished him by not allowing him to play in his baseball game the next day and not going outside for three days.  The thing that concerns me the most is that this is really not his nature. He is very kind, affectionate and loving, it seems almost like he suddenly turns into another kid. I try to stcik to my rules but every single thing with him is a battle.  I want him to go to counseling after his eval and he will recieve in school counseling in the fall. i would even like to take a parenting class for parents with difficult children.  Another thing that i think could possibly be related is he will only poop in his pants, he pees in the toilet just fine, but he will poop in his pants whenever wherever and he won't even tell me it happened he just goes on about his playing untill i smell him.  i have heard that kids to this as a form of control, but i don't understand why.  i took him to the doc. and he gave me a stool softner but he refuses to take it.  his sense of tasts and smell have always been very keen, and he can tell if i try to mix it in his juice or cereal.  I just wish i could help him and find out why he is so mad all of the time.

[Cleveland Mom]

I will think of you, tomorrow as you go to this evaluation for your son.  Again, you are acting very wisely by addressing your son's behavior problems.  You son is quite young in the scheme of things.  Addressing such concerns at such a young age is very good judgement.   The clinician(s) and physicians that you encounter should not only help your son but they should be supportive to you and your family.  Best wishes...

[erinty]

thank you for your insight, ther has been no negative events or traums in his life.  Except for the faact that he has no contact with his father.  I can't wait for our appt. tomorrow to finally shed some light on this.  thanx

[Cleveland Mom]

You have acted prudently by scheduling a psychological evalulation for your son.  His aggressive and violent behavior is certainly out-of the norm.  Furthermore, the acts involving the kitten are very concering along with the damage that he had destruction he has done to your home.  It is likely that his difficulties are stemming from a biologically-based mental health disorder(s).  You reported in your post that there is a family history of mood disorders. The nature and severity of your son's behavior may indicate that he may be dealing with more than/in addition to a mood disorder.  You have mentioned a number of other conditions that are possiblities.  A qualified mental health clinician will be able to sort the issues out and diagnose your son.  

Have there been any significant traumas or events that could have impacted him negatively in his history?

Medication for children is not inherently bad. In fact medications for children can be quite beneficial.  Medications can help children in terms of making the symptoms of various conditons more managable.  This in turn can help a child function at their highest potential.  Along with medication, a mental health clinician help you set up a behavior plan for your son at home.  He and your family will likely need child and family treatment/therapy.

Best wishes...