marital problems causing harm to four year old?

[momofalex]

My husband and I used to get along well and were truly compatible and happy--before my son came along...My son had colic for the first six months of life and this started the ball rolling for my husband and my marital problems. My son is now four and a half. Although I have tried to keep the marriage strong for the sake of my son (and only for his sake, unfortunately), I know that my son senses the tension in our relationship. I worry that our very different parenting styles and our tension that we have will harm my son in many ways. I have many reasons for not leaving: finances, my son's future, and the feeling of being obligated to this marriage.My husband has been diagnosed with Major Depression but refuses to get therapy or take antidepressants. He loves our son but feels that my way of parenting is wrong most of the time. He will curse and will use "angry tone" of voice with my son, but my son worships the ground my husband walks on.
Am I harming my son for staying in this marriage or helping him by allowing him to live with both parents while he grows up?

[momofalex]

This is in reference to your comment. I thank you for your time and your advice. It did help.

mom of Alex

[specialmom]

I know people will have  lots of opinions on this.  You ARE harming your child by not getting along with your husband.  That doesn't mean leave him-----  that means get along with him.  Seek counseling, see things from his point of view and always remember that a child does need both parents and preferably together.  Ask any kid of divorce what they desire most----  most would say that their parents would get back together even if they didn't get along.  We can control our relationships and realizing this makes it less overwhelming to deal with.  Be the bigger person----  do NOT fight in front of your child.  Marital therapy can help and even if only one partner is committed to change-----  big things can happen in a marriage.  As one partner changes behavior and attitude, the other will often follow.   So before you give up, try some more things.  You loved him at one time and you may love him again.  Good luck and obviously, this is JUST MY OPINION.  No more valuable than anyone elses . . .best wishes.