confussed 5yr old??

[TTeeling07]

Hi there, im hoping someone might be able to help me to find better ways to help my daughter express her emotions and feels a bit more. Her father and I have seperated coming up 3 years now and I have a new partner (long distance)who is amazing with her but has a 2.5yr old girl also. We have been together for 2 years but the girls dont spend much time together.  DD ive noticed changes when the 2.5 year old is around and to me its as though she is seeking attention from us and over trying. I have also been dealing with her telling me she hates me and ALOT of attitude. Things between her father and myself are not good but I try not to bring anything negitive towards him around her. Between mon and fri each week it is just me and my daughter at home so I need help on how to handle this out bursts of hate as I can see it in her eyes thats shes not happy. Sorry for the long novel but id truely appreciate the advice.
Thanks
1 worried mumma

[MarkLakewood3367]

Your situation is fairly complicated due to the fact that the family structure changed.  Kids normally do not have an easy time adjusting to separation and loss issues.  She obviously has some strong feelings against you.  It would be my strong suggestion to you is that your daughter receive mental health counseling to help her better cope with any separation and loss issues that she is experiencing.  You might want to even discuss this issue with her school counselor to determine whether services can be provided at the school.  

Though individual therapy might not be a bad idea for her, it is likewise important that family therapy occur as well.  Additionally, it is extremely important that you and your daughter's biological father resolve at least some of your differences on behalf of your daughter.  Family therapy involving you and your daughter's biological father would be able to help in this regard.

[specialmom]

To be honest, although I know it is hard, I agree with Anniebrooke.  It is really hard on a young child to share their 'special kid' spot with their parent when the parent has a new boyfriend/girlfriend with a child.  Five year olds and two year olds aren't generally a great mix age wise--  blood siblings at that age don't get along with the older feeling like the younger is the baby and gets all the attention.  Imagine being thrust into it!  

She is aware that you may be getting closer to this man and this little girl may be more a part of her life and she's not comfortable with it.  I'd think about that and decide what to do from there.  good luck

[TTeeling07]

Thanks for the advice... ive only started experiencing this behaviour since she was away for a month with her father in the past its only lasted about a week until she is back into routine but this time its been on going. Her father is one that will have my daughter when he can fit her in amd she does ask me when daddy will see her again (such a hard question to answer to) She totally doots over my partner and when its just us 3 she is fine seems to mainly be when his daughter is around... sorry just Confused on why this behaviour is all of a sudden started to happen..

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, you could ask her if she wishes you were not with (new partner).  If she says yes, then you have the reason she is so angry.  Sorry, but at least one expert says not to have relationships until the kids are out of the house.  If you find out it is him, and his getting your attention (or her presuming that if he were not around, she would get more of your attention even if it isn't true), they you have some choices to make and actions you might be able to take.