MY DAUGHTERS FATHER WON'T LET HER GET THERAPY

[jmcac]

My daughter is almost 5 and she tells me that when she is with her father he doesn't pay attention to her, he ignores her, his house is dirty his cats poop and pee on the funiture and asks me why she has to go there.  She tells me she doesn't want to go, she calls me when she is there crying asking to come home.  Recently she has starting having accidents, she has been wetting her bed everynight ( she had been potty trained for 2years) and she had an accident in school yesterday and this morning while brushing her teeth in the bathroom she had another one.  I spoke with the pediatrician who feels that she would benefit from seeing someone. As we share legal custody my lawyer told me i needed to get her fathers permission to have her seen.  His response was that he has to think about it, he said" oh she has to see someone because she pees" during the initial divorce proceedings the pediatrician wrote a letter saying that she felt seeing someone would be beneficial and her father and his lawyer fought that and my daughter was not seen.  I told him that i will take this back to court if necessary.  Why would a person say NO?  There is obviously something going on with my baby girl that is causing her angst.  Is he afraid of what might come out? It is only for her well being.  He said he has to think about it and he will let me know at the end of the week, he picks her up at the end of the week i just don't want him to take it out on her.  How is this right that i can not get her the help that she needs and that her pediatrician thinks will benefit her because he doesn't know if he wants to agree.  I am only trying to help my daughter get throught what ever it is she is going through.

[margypops]

oh darn jackie thats sad indeed,good the therapy is helping your daughter and good for you for standing up and being counted .  . I would also have liked to hear the outcome of this thread   jmcac what happened ? Good luck with the court case jackie ..

[jackie123147]

Just courious how this ended up? I had same problem with my 5 yr old. I took her to therapist, as she needed it. i don't care what he says, It is my job to look out for the best interest of my daughter, even if he won't. She is doing much better after 2 months of therapy, sadly I found out many bad things from the therapist about him, we are now in court, he has filed contempts against me, but I don't care, I will sit in jail for my daughter's well being. He still refuses to meet with her therapist. He has hurt her in so many ways and refuses to even see this, so sad.

[margypops]

Have you spoken to him about the matter , will he listen to you ? I think that as she really hates to go and I havent heard of children being taken kicking and screaming you should take some legal advice ,you may find that as it is affecting her so much they may allow her to stay home , after all if she is sick she can stay home  .Speak to someone who will know where you stand legally good luck

[jmcac]

won't he be able come and get her since it is in the divorce agreement?  My biggest fear is doing the wrong thing and  making it worse for her.  I have thought about not letting him take her but i am scared that if i do he will call the police since it is a joint custody situation and then it will end up where i lose her and that is not an option

[margypops]

For the moment as she is so upset at going to him maybe keep her home , she is emotionally sick and if its this bad she doesnt want to go I would not send my child I would wait to go to court and have her speak to the judge , the conditions you describe should be looked into and I think the courts would make a ruling regarding this ..She is the important one,  ..keep her home till he gets his act together ..

[RockRose]

jmcac,  when you contacted childadvocates.org,  did they refer you to CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates)?

These are volunteers who advocate for children in the courtroom,  there's a branch in Boston that at least could give you some direction.

I'm having trouble with the link,  but just google Court Appointed Special Advocates Quincy Mass and it comes up.

[jmcac]

i went to the website and i called the number so they told me unless i had a case with child protective services they couldn't help me and to call my court house. I did that and they told me they don't have child advocated that the judge would appoint a Guardian at Litem and we already did that and he didn't take my childs best interest to heart her father failed a drug test and he still gets to see her for a week everyother week.  I am at my wits end trying to find anyone besides me who will take her seriously, yes i know she's young but that does not mean she does not know how she feels she is a very bright girl and very well spoken yet im the only one who listens and when i say anything people disregard it as the vindictive ex wife.

[margypops]

Go to  www.childadvocates.org    for information  Child Advocates has become a leader in the ongoing fight against child abuse .

[jmcac]

i have been thinking about a child advocate for my daughter when we went through the divorce they appointed a Guardian at Litem who i ended up paying for as her father didn't agree with the idea and he was usless he went to see how she interacts with us and we were told that it was to be the parent and child only at that time as i live in a two family downstairs from my parents they were interviewed separately and in his report i find out his neice was there with her during the visit to his house.  I have called DFS on him previously for her report of him leaving her home at night alone and she even straight out told the investegator and i was told it was my word against his and no case was opened.  Where can i go to get her a child advocate because at this point i am desperate to have someone listen to her little cries for help because i do and no one takes me seriously

[AnnieBrooke]

Talk to your attorney today.