Concerned about abnormal child behavior. Am I overreacting?

[concerned271980]

I have a friend whose daughter is 7 years old. She just recently started going to the bathroom on her own without any assistance. She expected her mother to wipe her when she was finsihed. She expects everyone to do everything for her such as cutting her pancakes up and even as far as putting the food into her mouth. She repeats things over and over and over again. She needs CONSTANT direction. She takes advantage of my daughter when they play together and tells her to do everything for her. My daughter usually ends up doing it for her, which upsets me because she is giving into this child and giving her everything she wants. She will look people straight in the eye and lie to get her way,  or to  get another child into trouble.  The worse part of her behavior is her charm. She can be in the middle of getting into trouble and then look up at you and start batting her eyes at you like nothing is wrong. It just feels odd as im watching this behavior. I have also witnessed her beating up her toys and punching them in the face and then caressing them right after she beats them  up. Its scary. I have seen her go from not talking at all for HOURS to shouting out loud something that she was angry about in a rapid loud tone and then go back to being extremly calm and quiet for a long time. I feel like she uses people around her to get what she wants and has no other use for them except for her own gain. I love my friend but I am considering not allowing my children to hang around this child anymore. Am I over reacting or is this  truely abnormal behavior??

[RockRose]

I agree with ireneo.  Sometimes kids are born with personality disorders,  sometimes they are taught.

I'm sensing from your description that somehow the parenting style has greatly influenced her poor behavior.  

Does she have a dad?  What's that relationship like?

Just reading your description leaves me feeling irritated.  Can you see your friend in the evenings without kids?  I wouldn't want my daughter around her either,  and my guess is your daughter doesn't enjoy her company much.

[ireneo]

In my own opinion as a mother of 3 children (all grown now with kids of their own), I would say either the parents are allowing her to use her temper and manipulations to get her own way because they don't want to deal with her reactions or there's another problem going on. I wonder why she treats her toys that way. It's a red flag to me that she may be mimicking what she's experiencing some place (at home or a relative's house perhaps). Either way, she needs some help and perhaps the parents need some guidance too.