help - confusion with nursery feedback

[cartman74]

I have had some feedback from my sons nursery, which completely contradicts his tutors assessments and views.  My son is 3.5 and is currently working at end of reception yr in number and letters/phonics.  The nursery is saying that because he doesn't have one particular interest that they can tune into, he will struggle at school.

Now this completely contradicts a reception teacher who sees him often enough to sugggest he is gifted.

It is very confusing, as he still cries when leaving me and sometimes he chooses not to join in and knows who he wants to play with and who he doesn't.

Can someone shed some light?

confused.......

[jdtm]

My son is 3.5 and is currently working at end of reception yr in number and letters/phonics.  --  your words
Which completely goes against my friends view who is a primary teacher, who says he is a year advanced in numbers and phonics!  --  your words


I do not think you were ridiculed - a question was asked "Why is your child going to phonics and numbers tutoring?" because of your words from two postings.  Those of us responding only have your words to guide our answers - we are not privileged to tone of voice or facial expressions.  Sorry - but I misunderstood too.  

Now to answer your question - "can someone shed some light"?  I suspect your son is showing signs of anxiety (and not an anxiety disorder) caused by the stress to perform at a level or in an environment which he feels overwhelming.  I believe specialmom indicated this.  By the way, rote learning as phonics and numbers are not indicators of being gifted - giftedness shows in the more subtle or unusual or outside-the-box thinking e.g.  a friend's son at five years of age was asked to draw a diagram and he drew the item looking down on the item in 3-D (an unexpected drawing); e.g.  when a teacher asked my nephew to count to 100 he asked how - in ones, twos, fives,or tens (not expected answer)  But, even if a child is gifted in mathematics or art or music, this does not mean that he/she will be gifted in all areas (in fact, he/sje will not) as emotional and/or social development.  I also liked the comment from margypops about looking for a more relaxed nursery school.  Hope  this helps  and all the best  ....

[cartman74]

I was asking for help Rockrose, not to be ridiculed.

However, I will state your assumptions are incorrect and not indulge you further.

[RockRose]

Cartman,  I don't understand.

Why is your child going to phonics and numbers tutoring?  

This is too much.  He should be stomping in mud puddles and stacking block towers to knock over at this age,  not sitting for tutoring and having someone determine his "interests".  

What is the purpose of a tutor?

[cartman74]

Many  thanks to everyone!

Yes, they say he has no particular interests and this is what they focus on to see what areas he is developed in.  as he is showing little or no interest in alot of things, they say its us that dont do anything with him!

Which completely goes against my friends view who is a primary teacher, who says he is a year advanced in numbers and phonics!

hope this makes more sense

[specialmom]

I don't really like the prediction of the future academics of a child being made when they are 3.  

I'm trying to understand what they are telling you, however.  All I can say is that sometimes in an overwhelming enviroment such as preschool or nursery as I believe you call it, a child can become overwhelmed.  Things that they do easily and with joy elsewhere are harder for them in the enviroment that their nervous system finds overwhelming.  .  Wandering a classroom and not focusing on any one thing is a sign of this.  Is that what they are trying to tell you?  

[margypops]

I agree... this child is 3 year old , nursery, and assesments and views ..sound a little anal ..time to look for a relaxed place for a young child ....

[mammo]

I think most 3 1/2 year olds are all over the board with their interests.  All his behavior sounds normal for his age, I think I would question whether you want your child to continue at this nursery!