My 21 month old son, throw huge tantrums when he does not get his way, and will bite himself over and over again. I have tried to hold him in a bear hug type hold until he calms down. But he does not calm down. He screams, hits, bites, kicks, scratches and pinches to try and get out of my arms. What else can I do????
Provided that you son is not reacting from a medical issue, your child requires discipline. Hugging him until he calms done isn't discipline. If anything, you need to avoid giving your child any of your attention for a specific time. Hugging him is giving him the attention he wants.
A perfect discipline for a child of this age is a timeout. Given his age, you could conduct a timeout nearly anywhere in your home. Choose an area of your home specifically for this purpose and give this area a name. When he behaves this way, he should spend 1 to 2 minutes in timeout. 1 minute per age is the most effective. The only time that counts is when he is quiet and remains in timeout.
If he walks or runs out of timeout, take him back to the timeout area and do this all over again. I understand that this can be quite frustrating at first. But once your son sees your consistency with this discipline, his misbehavior will eventually cease.
With mine I started out with a playpen. When he would throw a tantrum I would put him in there as time out until he calmed down. I then started using a blanket because when we go to my mom's we don't have a playpen. So when we go over to my mom's we put him on the blanket. When he gets up we put him back and repeated until he stayed on the blanket and after he calmed down we always explain that that type of behavior is not acceptable. We hug and he goes and plays. Be consistent and apply it to every situation. Remember this immediate obedience especially during moments he knows that an action is not acceptable to you. Put him in time out immediately after telling him you are going in time out because you are whining or hitting whatever he is doing that he knows not to do. Then place him in time out no talking and after he has cried and stopped trying to escape and sits there quietly for 1 to 2 mins. Go and explain to him if he does the unwanted behavior again he will go back in time out. Tell him you forgive him you love him kiss hug and send him on his way.
This is the 2nd method we used on our now 22 month old and has had great results. It took one week but we were and still are consistent.
If he is using a toy to hurt someone or throw it. Get a box or basket and take him to the box with the toy and tell him you do not throw toys or hurt people with your toys get him to put it in the box and then tell him he can't have it back for 2 days then put the box in your closet. We do time out after if he has hurt someone with the toy.
From what my pediatrician explained a child will not hit or bite themselves to hard to really hurt themselves. My little one bangs his head we ignore it and he stops. The ped also let us know that a child has never died from crying so sometimes you have to put them in a safe place and let them cry it out such as the playpen. Tantrums I do the same I put him in time out and let him know before and after that no means no and the tantrum is not acceptable and he is going or will go back to time out.
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