Instead of asking her to play get out the game and you instigate it,I am sorry that you had the loss of her Dad that must have been tough on you and her, and whilst as you say you have to be Dad and Mom it is good to focus on her positive behavior and Praise her when you catch her doing something good, children respond in kind, if you relax on the rules and try to have more fun you will feel closer to her, Take the children out to parks and make sure they have plenty of outside activities..
Don't worry I think every parent and child goes through this at one time or another. I believe that your bond will come in time.She is just growing up. Girls will always need their mothers no matter how much she doesn't show it now. good luck.