how to stop biting

[birty88]

hello, I am a senior nursery nurse and the settingd SENco, I am currently based in the 2-5year old room. I have a child in my key group is continually biting. The child is 2years old and has been biting for some time now. We managed the behaviour through time out, explaining why biting is not kind and through more stipulative activities The child responded very well to this behavior plan and and displayed a lot of positive behavior. After a few months of no biting the child has recently began to bite again. I am having a major problem stopping this negative behavior as new government guidelines/policies have restricted us as a setting to give children time out and we can only suggest that the biting child that a hug and to say sorry might make the other child feel better. These new strategies are not helping to combat the situation. Any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated to help resolve this situation. This is not only distressing to the children and parents of the children being bitten but to the family of the biting child! HELLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!

[allmymarbles]

I never bothered with time out, or other punishments of that ilk. If they misbehaved I told them so flat out, no matter who was present. The former involves guilt and the latter, shame. To put it another way, one is individual and the other social. I feel the social approach is healthier. Also, it is a lot quicker.

[birty88]

i was replying to rockrose who said they did not think that a 2year old was developmentally ready to sit for long periods of time for story/song time and gave my opinion on that. I am aware that time out is only a short period of time normally a minute for each year of the childs age as i have worked in childcare for the past seven year and given time out for the majority of that time up until a few weeks ago when we were no longer authorised to use this method.

[margypops]

time outs are not long' periods of tiem that wasnt suggested, they in fact are fairly short...

[birty88]

i also agree that that a 2year old does not have to sit for long peroiods of time but for short 5 - 10 min bursts as a key group is benificial to childrens p.s.e.d especially those children with S.E.N and social difficulties these short group stories/songs can help them immensley.  W ehave a very good relationship with parents of all our choildren and in this case dicipline is not an issue!! and as for excluding a child i think in no uncertain terms that a biting child should be excluded from any setting!!  We are not only there to care for the children but to protect them and to support their families in times of difficulty with our proffessional knowledge, therefore excluding a child is like neglecting them!! That child needs support and if a biting child bites for very long periods of time there could me underlying adolecent mental health problem and to simply exclude the child in my eyes would be failing them!!  And as for hitting a child wether it be legal or not is not the right way about it!! 1) you have hurt your child and potentially put fear in them of yourself and could go 1 of 2 ways Stop the behavior or 'mummy hit me, so i can hit people'  Bigger problem than before. Remember we are childrens role models they do as we do!!!!

[allmymarbles]

I only had one child who bit. The question is why do they do it. At first I think it is only an accident. They have new teeth and try them out on everything. But when they bite a person, the person squeals and jumps. Oh, what fun. Oh, the power. So they do it again. It can become a habit and used to terrorize others.

When my toddler finished getting her new teeth she discovered the joys of biting. My husband had a talk with her, told her why she shouldn't do it, how it hurt people, blah, blah, blah. She bit again and looked to see if he would continue the game. I got annoyed, took my daughter aside, and told her very sternly that she was never to bite again as long as she lived. She bit and I smacked her in the mouth. This strange action on my part with its pop and sting (I had never hit my children) shocked her. Her biting career was over. Biting is a nasty business that has to be stopped immediately.

You cannot do what I did because you will be charged with abuse. Try to find out if the child bites at home. There could be lax discipline there. If you can't get help from the parents and the biting doesn't stop, you might want to expel the child in the nursery, if you can. There are all the other children to consider.

[RockRose]

birty,  I've got to say I agree with allowing 2 year olds to not sit for a long time in story or song time.    I don't think that kind of structure is developmentally appropriate until the child is 6,  and until then as much of a home/mother structured environment is best.  Children who want to play with the blocks can,  children who would like to be read to can,  children who want to go running around in the back yard can.  That's developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old.

To me,  that's fair.  Let them amuse themselves appropriately any way they want all day long except for brief times where they are to sit still for brief periods of time to eat or rest.

The other,  to not be able to have negative consequences for a child that is purposely hurting other children in the short run will cause absolute chaos in daycare,  and in the long run will result in a huge number of children to be unable to find a daycare willing to accept them.   Children who,  with appropriate sternness and negative consequences could be taught not to hit,  kick and bite will now be forced out their nurseries to protect the other children from being harmed.

Best wishes with this whole mess.

[birty88]

I agree they should me watching the biter more carefully especially with such small number of children in comparison to my class which we have upto 24children with 4 nursery nurses. Obviousley though fewer children means fewer staff. Although i do have to say there could be 2staff with 2 children and a child could still be bitten as all it takes is a blink of an eye. I would also ask for reassurance that the teachers are working closely with the biting childs parents and have some behaviour plans or something similar in place. I hope you resolve the problem quickly and effectivley

[birty88]

up until a few weeks ago we were also able to use the time out method. I found this the best method when dealing with negative behaviour. We can remove the child from the situation and explain why biting is not kind etc however if that child chooses not to listen walk away from us we have to take that as their choice!!! The new guidelines have been put in place to give children more freedom of choice also at story time song time etc we can only encourage the children to sit down but if they choose not to we cannot make them. This in turn is giving the children the impression that thay can do what ever they like without any consequences, we have reward systems in place that have been very effective in the past but without clear consequences for negative behaviour these are not working as well!! this country has gone mad children need structure and boundaries!!!

[margypops]

In my opinion they should be watching the little biter carefully especially as there are only 3 children around, I think you will have to speak firmly to them, they need to be addressing the issue with the childs parents,I happen to believe that if the child bites, he has to know its not allowed and put on a chair by himself as a time out, the above poster is not allowed to do this anymore in England but so far we are still allowed in the US  to use the time out method which has been shown to work.

[Chupmom]

As a mother of a 22 month old who has been bitten 3 times over the past 3 weeks by the same boy at day care, I am curious about the recommended standard operating procedure the the center should be following. I had an initial discussion with the director after the first two bites and she assured me that they would keep a close watch. There are only 3kids in the room at a time with 1 teacher so I'm not sure what else they should be doing. Any advice on how to approach this with the director is appreciated.

[margypops]

On reading your post I thought you may be from the UK would you be able to tell us the reasoning the government put this order of no time outs we in America find them helpful and are not aware it hurts the child ,unfortunatly I can see this rule headed our way .Are you allowed to remove the child from the situation and sit him down with a book somewhere near your desk/chair so he has been taken away from the children but not by himself . ?

[RockRose]

birty - I'm just going to say this bluntly.  You won't be able to stop his biting if the only recourse is to suggest he might hug the child he bit.

I can't imagine trying to run a nursery under those guidelines.  The children would be running amuck and banging each other over the head with tonka trucks with no consequences.

Best wishes.