i need advice please???

[lisa0622]

my 4 year old will not go poop in the potty. he poops on himself probably about 10 times a day. it come out a little bit at a time because he' trying to hold it in he will go to the corner ancross his legs. i am washing underpants all day. long i need to get a job but i cant because there isn't a daycare that will accept him not potty trained. he will pee-pee but i have to take him in there and make him stand there when i know he has to pee. i am desperate i have to find a job within the next 2 months so time is an issue. if anyone has any advice i will greatly appreciate it.

[lisa0622]

thank you so much! i feel alot better. everybody is telling me to punish him and i just couldn't do it because i felt like he couldn't help it. im gonna make an appointment tomorrow. thanks for all of your help!

[rileysmomOH]

I totally agree with ifsogirl.   Please look into Encopresis and talk to your doc about it ASAP.   We had an xray done on our daughter and she was full.....and I mean full.  Your son will probably need to be cleaned out which can be done orally vs. enemas.   Milk of Mag and stool softener.  Once he gets cleaned out you will probably have to teach him how to push.  My daughter was so used to holding (she was the master) that she did not know how to push anymore combined with her loss of feeling.   After she was cleaned out we had to put her on the potty to do "sits" after each meal.   It was not important for her to produce, it was important that she sat there and get used to the feeling.  

Her enco started around age 3.  She is 6.5 now and still on stool softener however I have been told that is not a problem because it is not habit forming.   This can be controlled however you need to get him cleaned out before anything will get better.  once he is cleaned out he may take a few days to get over the withholding but he will get over it.   Just know that he cannot control this at this point.   This is medical and not mental.   I know that it's maddening however be patient.   I am sure that you already know that yelling doesn't help (trust me I was there).   Bribes and star charts don't work either.  Get the boy to a doc and if your doc doesn't know about Enco or tries to blow you off.......FIND ANOTHER DOC!   We were one full year dealing with a doc that had no idea about enco and kept telling me about star charts.    I wanted to choke him!!!   Found another doc on a gut feeling and my daughter was much better within a month.  

Good luck and hang in there........

rileysmomOH

[ifsogirl]

There is a chance he has encopresis.  My daughter just started using the potty at 4.  we found out she had chronic constipation for more than a year.  She would hold her poop because it would hurt and like your son it would come out a little at a time.  Usually soft and runny.  This is because there is a hard mass of poop blocking the intestine and what is coming out is liquid and he probrably can't controll himself at that point.  He knows it's happening but can't stop.  

I learned about this because out of desparation I got the book potty training for dummies.  When I took this info to my Dr. we got an appointment with a pediatrician.  She was put on a Rx called Peg 3350 and it does wonders.  We still have problems with her holding but now her stools are more normal.  Good luck!