kindergarten issues

[pollo]

Hi I have posted some earlier problems regarding my son in kindergarten. His teacher is quite critical of him in the classroom, says that he does not pay attention and cannot work independantly.
I have been lucky enough to help out in the classroom and observe him at the same time. He can be a little inattentive but is quiet and competes the work if it is of interest to him. His teacher rarely gives him any praise for good behaviour or work,, but will give certain other kids praise all the time.  It seems that she has favourites in the classroom, which is sad to see. My son seems to be much quieter and settled than what he was two months ago, but his teacher still insists that he neeeds extra help ( an aid) to get his work done.
We have taken him to a psychologist, who has told us that he is doing well and that much of his behaviour was due to anxiety, from being in a large classroom, and that caused him to act out. My concern is that his teacher sees his as a nuisance and just wants the help so to make things easier for her. His tecaher knows that he is quite intelligent, but does not give him more challenging work. Any ideas will be appreciated.

[LRM1021]

In my experience- there is nothing more important in a child's academic career than for the parents to develop a good working relationship with a child's teacher.

I have a child who has mild ADHD. My nephew is the same age as my son -- he has moderate ADHD. My neice is the same age as my son-- she has mild ADHD.

I make a point of working closely with my son's teachers-- asking what I could do to help, monitoring his progress, making extra efforts so that they knew how much I appreciate their hard work-- listened to them, and thus they were more than willing to listen to me.

My neice's parents did the same thing.

My nephew's parents instead developed a somewhat adversarial relationship with the school and teacher-- did not focus a lot of time on developing a good working relationship, and became somewhat defensive at suggestions, never really trying to develop a partnership.

My son is now viewed as a "handful" at school-- a "scamp" who is challenging -- but he is also considered to be very funny, and is well liked. His teachers say he is a challenge, but that they expect him to grow up to be president of the US because he is smart, funny, and charismatic-- even though he does not listen well and practically never shuts up.

My neice is in honors classes. Teachers have gone out of their way to make sure that if she needs wiggle room to complete her reading she gets it. SHe is very successful at school -- very smart, intelligent, well liked.

My nephew -- well, his teachers are reccomending that he either repeat first grade or be placed into another school-- because they claim he is not making adequate process in the normal school setting.

I can't help but think that the relationships that the PARENTS forged in each of these cases did not have a very significant impact on the outcome that the children experience.

[musicmama]

You don't have to say anything negative about your child's current teacher to request a specific type of teacher to the principal for next year.  You might mention that he has had some tough times and needs a nurturing teacher next year.  Tact is a wonderful gift. LOL.

Good luck and God bless.

[pollo]

Thankyou for your feedback, the only problem is the principal is this teacher's husband!

[musicmama]

As a teacher, I want you to see both sides of the coin.  I am not condoning this teacher's critical nature, but please understand that large classes are difficult, especially when there are required benchmarks that children need to accomplish.  The teacher did not choose these large classes, and would probably be more patient with a smaller group.

I agree that having a personal aid to help him is a bit excessive; but in our district, they are hard to come by.  Would an aid really hurt your child's education?  An aid will also be able to keep your child on task and help other children in the classroom.  

I highly recommend that you speak with the principal about placing your child with a seasoned and patient teacher next year.  This can make a world of difference.

Good luck and God bless.