Terrified Toddler

[MomOfTerrifiedToddler]

I'm a mother of a 3 year old.
The day after xmas I rearranged her room to fit her new toys in it. That night she became terrified to sleep in there alone, or even be in there alone. She is now scared to be in ANY room in our house without my her father or I in the same room, right next to her. She has not mentioned a bad dream, not seen a movie or anything that was scarey. I changed her room back to the way it was before all of this happened and it hasn't helped. I've tried different tricks I found online (Hung signs that said no monsters. Sprayed "Monster Be Gone" spray. Had her come with me to check for monsters before laying her down. Nothing is helping. She is still terrified. I've sat down and had rational talks with her. Told her about some of my childhood fears etc. It has even got to the point that at times, if I am not looking directly at her that she screams "look at me! Look at me!"
Before this, nothing abnormal happened. I am a stay at home mom. Her father works, but we are all living together as a family etc. She hadn't been on any playdates the days prior, stayed the night anywhere, been away from me. Everything was normal.
I need answers. What do I do to make her OK? Should I LET her sleep with us (like she is begging us to let her do)? I don't want it to become a bad habit. She was going to bed fine on her own before all of this. She was a normal 3 year old. I am just at a loss of what caused this, IF I should set up a DR appt or what other options are out there. I'm affraid she doesn't think we believe her and she is literally terrified.

Please...help us.

[RockRose]

I think your matter of fact attitude is the very best approach,  Mom.  What you DON'T want to happen - at all costs - is for her to begin to pick up avoidance behavior,  where she then becomes scared of other things and changes her behaviors to avoid the other things.    Like,  scared of beds.  Scared of windows.  Scared of the dark even  in a crowded movie theater.  This fear has to end,  before it  metasticises to other things, or it will really severely impair her ability to function.

You aren't quite a week into this yet,  and from what you say it's a tiny bit better.  Putting your foot down gently but firmly,  and not adding to her fear by acting concerned yourself is the best you can do at this point.

If this goes on another week I think you should seek a child therapist.

Best wishes.

[MomOfTerrifiedToddler]

After asking what she's scared of she says "Everything". Nothing I say will get her to point to it. I have changed her room 100% back to the way it was before. She's doing SEMI-better at nap times but bed times are still terrible. I really just dont' understand what caused all of this. Was it JUST the changing of the room?  If so, why hasn't it stopped since I put everything back to normal?
She gets a lot of exercise. I'm blessed by being a stay at home mom which allows a lot of time for play and activities.
My husband and I are not comfortable (right now) having her sleep with us. My husband works late into the night on the laptop and I'm affraid it would mess with her schedual even more than what is going on now. We have been standing outside her doorway until she falls asleep at night time. It seems she just wants to see us until she sleeps.
Today at naptime it started out in panic mode but I put my foot down and told her I would be right across the hall the WHOLE time. She screamed and jumped out of bed. Every time she jumped out of bed, I got up and told her it was time to lay down and walked her into bed again. She did this and cried about 10 times. After that, she still gets out of bed to come tell me she isn't tired and that she isn't crying. I just keep walking her back in, hugging and kissing her and tuck her back in and tell her I will come get her when it's time to get up. She is no longer crying but I think she thinks this is a game. I'm hoping she will soon realize that it's easier just to sleep than to fight me over it.
My concern is that I'm not "showing" her the compassion she needs. I'm telling her I understand she is scared but we will ALWAYS protect her. If she calls out from her room, I call out right back with a joke. But I CAN NOT stay with her every night until she sleeps. Am I traumatizing her? I want her to know how much I love her and need her to know these things. But I'm trying to be productive about it.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd let her sleep with you.  You can work on night terrors slowly, but in the meantime if she is entirely panicked, you need her to get some sleep and some reassurance.

After she has had some sleep, ask her if she can tell you what is scary in her room.  Have her point to things.  I'd even try covering things with white sheets.  When I was a kid, I was scared of how different things looked in dim light (I remember thinking a sweater that was crumpled into a suggestive shape on a chair was a wolf, and being unable to sleep.)  You might have some of that going on.

I'd also try getting her more exercise as well as the improved sleep she gets with you, so she is naturally tired and ready to sleep at night.  Christmas plays hell with kids' sleep schedules, they are so over-the-top excited and get so many sweets to eat and don't get their normal bedtimes and all.  If she can get back to a routine and it is one that tires her, she might do better.