My son is 6 years old. He was potty trained since before he was three years old. Since around 5 however, he has been messing his underwear. Few and far between at first, but now more frequently (nearly every day). Nothing especially significant that I know of has changed in his life to cue this issue. His mother and I have been separated since he was 2. He is an all around happy, healthy, smart boy. He isn't constipated and he is aware that he needs to go. I ask him if it's accidental, if he feels it when he needs to go and he consistently tells me that he does know, but he just doesn't. I ask if he is scared to go. "No." If it hurts to go. "No." I ask if he knows before he has accidents that he needs to go. "Yes." I ask if he feels it in his belly and butt before he has accidents. "Yes." I ask why he doesn't go before the accident. "I don't know." So, he's not constipated, doesn't have diarrhea, and is fully aware when he needs to go. He just refuses to go, and lies about needing to, and doesn't mention it when he has an accident. I only know if I actually make him go and check. I've discussed, consoled, supported, and even punished him for it. I understand in certain cases, punishment is a negative option, but he knows perfectly well that he's doing it. It's not a control issue, he just doesn't want to stop what hes doing to use the bathroom. Just today he ruined two pair of undies within a few hours, each time I had long discussions with him and punished him. Nothing seems to get through. I need help!