behavior problems with 3 years old

[val292]

My question is the behavior of my 3 year old typical.  I have 2 other children ages 15 and 11, and as I can remember they were never this difficult.  She is throwing a fit about 90% of the day.  She will cry, scream, throw herself on the floor.  I have tried to let her cry it out, but she will continue for hours.  I will disipline her, with time outs, I have tried putting her in her room, and even spanking, which I do not like to do.  I have animals that she will not leave alone, I remove her from them or remove them from the room.  But she will find them and bother them until they scratch her (cats) or nip at her (puppy), and after she gets through crying she will go right back and start with them again.  At night she will not go to sleep until way after midnight, that is if she hasn't had a nap, if she has had a nap it will be around 2 before I can finally get her down for the night. She wakes up early in the morning regardless of what time she goes to sleep.  She has gotten into the fridge in the middle of the night, rubbed butter all over herself, and the cats, poured a gallon of milk in her bed, she will tell me and her brother and sister she hates them, she will curse, and she says the oddest things, an example is the other day she told me she was going to cut my brain out and wear it on her head.  If she drops something and it is right by her foot she will scream and cry until I get it, if someone else tries to get it for her it makes her mad and she screams more, it has to be gotten by me only.  If she barely bumps into something she will scream like she has broken a bone and there won't even be a scratch on her. She seems to have no concept of danger, or fear, or the consequences of her actions, even though I explain daily why she can't do something. The list of things that she does can go on, but I am trying to shorten it.  I was on Wellbutrin during my pregnancy with her and I have been wondering if that could have some effect on her.  I feel like I am at the end of my sanity, it is terrible to say, but most days I dread coming home from work because I know what I am going to have to deal with.  Any suggestion would be greatly apperciated.

Valarie

[jewels82]

Hi Valarie,

This sounds just like my 3 year old daughter... it just seems recently she never NEEDS sleep.  At day care she never ends up taking a nap although all of the other children (even the older children) do.  She could stay up until midnight and then be back up at 6.  She does the exact same thing where she says "I need my water" in a very angry tone and her cup will be right next to her, so I say calmly "it is right there" and she wants me to hand it to her.   I know this sounds silly but I watch Nanny 911 and they always show examples of the kid who keeps getting out of their bed and you have to keep calmly putting them back in there bed-- they always show a time laps like 45 minutes later the child is sleeping and the parents are happy... it takes 3-4 hours of me doing this... for her to fall asleep for 45 minutes and having to start all over again. She screams and flails and in my mind I am thinking (what must my neighbors think?)  I am thinking about putting her crib back in her room and telling her she is not ready for a big kid bed.  I always try to be calm but sometimes her behavior gets the best of me and I find my self shouting at her... and then always feel guilty afterword.  I guess its good to hear that some other moms are having to face the same issues.  I don't believe in putting kids on psychiatric drugs and I am not sure if that is what a doctor would recommend... my thoughts on the subject is it messes with a young child's chemical balance and it causes more issues in the long run but I do wish I had some solutions for her to be calm and happy.

[benjimom]

She does sounds like a difficult child. Have you gone over this with your pediatrician?  this might just be a phase.  She sounds like she is very sensory seeking, hyperactive, never shutting down.   She certainly sounds dramatic.  I am sure it is hard to come home to all this.  I wish I had more suggestions, but I would run it by the doctor. Is she is any kind of daycare, preschool, what do the teachers say??