is my 5 year old son being abused?

[they_call_me_momma]

I have a 5 yr old little boy who curently lives with his father. His dad drops him off at 6:30 am I take him to school @ 12:20 and then pick him up again at 3:50. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I keep him til 8 pm and only have him overnight every other weekend... So heres my question... recently my son has been showing sexul type of behavior (kissing, hands down his pants, talking about womens parts) says his dad makes him watch movies with that in it. My heart is breaking, I have a 4 mo old baby boy and I have caught him acting inappropriate towards him. I have tried so many times to talk to him about where he sees this or is someone showing you this but he wont budge... he has gotten really clingy when I drop him off at school he cries and wont let go of me. I know something is wrong I just dont know how to fix it when I dont know what the problem is and I can only do so much because his dad and I are exact opposites. I have structure but his dad treats life like a party, no discipline.  I am at a loss here I really need some fedback I dont know if hes being abused or if hes showing signs of ADHD or ADD. Please help!

[they_call_me_momma]

Beautiful! you have helped me realize this all stated happening a little over a month ago when his dad took him out of state for a family emergency... while there my 'baby' walked in a gate a busted his head open (I have no clue what kind of a gate can do that, but it did) anyways when I first saw it I about passed out it was so bad! and his dad said he needed stitches but didnt get him any 'because he didnt have his insurance card'. I dont know if it was the impact of the hit knocked a screw lose or if something other then that happened while out there.... anyway Im going to investigate it more & in the process I did get the court papers and I am going to file for custody I feel like he needs more supervision which will only happen in my care. thank you again :)

[they_call_me_momma]

Thank you so much for the response... very helpful. I did talk to his teacher yesterday and she says he does just fine in class (a little hyper sometimes) but pretty good. I tried to talk to his dad about the issues we've been having but all he said was 'oh' and 'yep'. Hes not a social person... poss. bipolar?! I know he smokes pot and his thinking isnt all that clear... & on top of all that I just found out he is remodeling his house & has my son sleeping in a home with NO heat. (it is 32* here at night if not lower)  I went and got the court papers I am filing for custody... my baby needs more structure and emotional support. Anyways thank you again & at least now with others writing me back I can see Im not just imagining this and it is a problem. thank you may God bless you & your family

[margypops]

I think a serious discussion with his father is in order what does the child mean by 'makes him watch movies ' also the behavior does seem strange ,did it all happen at the same time .In my opinion you need answers before you let him go there alone again .

[allmymarbles]

It may not be abuse per se, but having your son watch what are apparently inappropriate fils can lead to serious problems. I would check this out and, if confirmed, would consider going to court to change the custody arrangements.

[adgal]

If your instincts and his behaviour make you suspect abuse, you need to intervene immediately.  I would take him to a specialist...perhaps a medical Dr. or a therapist and discuss your concerns.  Have him evaluated.  I am no expert on signs children will exhibit with sexual abuse, but always think you should err on the side of caution.  Have him seen by someone who is an expert.  I think you also probably need to have a very serious discussion with his father on what your son is being exposed to.  I know you say you are opposites, but are the two of you on good enough terms to communicate in an adult fashion?  If not, then perhaps through mediation?  Not sure, but I do know you cannot ignore this.  Talk to his teachers as well and find out if there is any behaviour like this going on at school.  I would be careful about coming to the conclusion it's dad as that is a very serious allegation.  But I would absolutely have him see someone who really knows what they are doing.  

Good luck, this has to be so upsetting and terrifying for you.  I cannot even imagine how worried you must be.