3 year old suddenly doesn't want to go to school

[adgal]

So my son has been in daycare since he was 13 months old.  For the first year and a half it was just 3 days a week, and since September of this year full time.  For the most part he has been happy, and with starting a preschool program has been just thriving.  No behavioral issues beyond the normal odd push/shove routine, and twice in the whole time has bitten another child.  Drop off has always been a bit of an issue, but to reassure myself I have snuck back several times to see and he was happily playing.  There are even days when I pick him up that he wants to stay and play longer.

Even with two full time working parents, he gets lots of attention.  My schedule is flexible enough that I can be home with him when he is sick always, and am also able to attend any and every event the school puts on for parents, so I am quite involved.  Evenings and weekends are all about family.  My husband and I very very rarely go anywhere without him.  His teachers say he is a bright, healthy, well adjusted child.

In the last few weeks he has been telling us he doesn't want to go to school.  When I ask why he'll say things like "Victor hit me" or "Lincoln is mad at me" things like that.  When I ask him who his friends are, he lists a few kids and says' he likes to play with them. When I spoke to his teachers, they tell me there just hasn't been any issue while there - he is the same happy kid he usually is.  He's normal - he has his tantrums and his moments, but he is not one they see as a challenging child.

So what could be the issue?  Is this a normal thing for a child to go through?  He says he wants to stay home with me, but in the past, sometimes even on a Saturday he would ask if he could go to school.  Is it common for a child this age who has been in childcare to go through a clingy phase?  I'm not sure how to handle this...I want to reassure him, but unfortunately, not working isn't really an option for me.  THoughts?

[AHP84]

Yes, it's a very typical thing. Greydon goes through the same phases a few times every few weeks, saying he doesn't want to go to school for a few days and he'll be clingy, and then he's totally fine and I can barely get a goodbye out of him before he's running off to play with his friends the next day for a few weeks at a time.
I think at this age, they are trying to see where their boundaries are in decision-making and demands. They want to see if they have enough control to change their own routine on a whim if they think up this reason or that. If that reason doesn't work, they get used to it after a few days, then they're good to go for awhile, and then later they'll try to think up another reason.
Have you ever noticed that, unless there is an actual problem that even the teachers address with you...that they never think up the same thing to tell you the next time if they realize the first time or two they used that excuse, it didn't work? They're getting so smart and growing up too fast! ;-)

[allmymarbles]

Sit back and wait for a while. It could just be a mood. It could be something as simple as one off his favorite friends is ignoring him.

[adgal]

With the one child (Victor), there was an incident report where he hit Ryder in the head with a toy.  I was told it was completely accidental though.  I know the other child well, and am friendly with his mom as well.  The two of them have played together and like most kids this age, some days it goes well, other days they fight.  But nothing that stands out as a problem. There is a little girl that is a biter, and has bitten Ryder a few times, but nothing lately.  I know the school and the parents have been working on it.

[specialmom]

Hi!  Well, in truth, I think he is normal.  He's a little guys and there really may be days that he is tired a little, just doesn't want to leave the comfort of home, etc. and says he wants to stay at home with you.  Doesn't mean he doesn't like school necessarily.  Home is cozy, toys from Christmas is there, etc.  Don't know if that has anything to do with it but that occurs to me.  Have you asked the school about the two kids mentioned and what could be going on with them?