shoplifting stealing

[pet464]

My 10 year old daughter was caught shoplifting from a grocery.  She has the money, she paid the other items yet she intentionaly hid 2 pcs. of chocolate bars inside her pocket.  A week before that she, and her playmate,  also stole the wallet of our neighbor!  At first, she denied the charges, but eventually she admitted it.  My daughter is a smart kid, she perfoms well in school.  She is a middle child. She knew what is right from wrong. Yet, I observed that she has this tendency to lie and to act on impulses.  I always tell my children not to lie, not to get things from others, not to hurt other people, well, the do's and don'ts.  I just can't understand why, with all the efforts i made, still she resorted to this negative behavior... Can she outgrow this anti-social behavior?  As a mother, I'm worried for my kid.  I wanted her to be a disciplined and good person...



This discussion is related to Lying and Shoplifting.

[babygirl6152]

I see this as morality issues:

lying and stealing
I think you have done your job well to have insisted she abide by these do's and dont's and raise a disciplined child.

The only thing left after you have taught and trained a child correctly is to let them suffer the consequences of their actions- this is how we all grow......and it's ok to make a mistake as long as you learn something from it. What did she learn from her mistakes?

We learn at some point usually before age 8, that we will be tempted to do things that hurt others, including hitting, lying, stealing, fussing with siblings. Lying to mom is a big temptation to avoid a consequence but it is not in any way acceptable...... we have to fight that temptation is all/

The fact that she lies just means she doesn't like admitting to responsibility of her wrong actions and she has to know she will be held accountable- even if it is to march back to the store and apologize to the manager......no one likes consequences, but it's part of life. No one wakes up in the morning with a toothache and likes making that call to the dentist, but these are natural consequences sometimes for not caring for our teeth properly....

I would suggest more time sitting as a family actually teaching values and discussing them: Integrity, responsibility, justice, honesty, perseverance, self control......

[margypops]

Could you be trying too hard and focusing on her being disciplined more than having fun,focus on her positive side,it is possible that she was rebelling too many dos and donts,  how about you get involved and get her Dad involved in outside activities and Sports and not going to stores with friends ask the friends to the house and have Games ,Reading, board games .