should we seek help?

[rockjs]

My husband and I are starting to worry about his son.  It is becoming increasingly more obvious that he does not know how to interact with people.  When people talk to him he does not make eye contact, he mummbles his answers or just shrugs for yes or no.  He just came to live with us from another state because of his school performance, so at first we thought he just needed time to adjust.  We have noticed this behavior before the move, and attributed it to the fact that he spends way too much time on the computer and playing video games.  Now that he is here we have put passwords on the computer and limit his video game usage.  We explain to him that his actions and responses are disrespectful and  sometimes down right rude.  We need to know if we should seek help?  Is he lacking confidence or does he just not care?  How do we know the difference between him just being rude or lacking social development?  Is this a job for a psychchologist or are there other programs out there for social development? Any suggestions would be appreciated it.  

[margypops]

Thank you for the further input from you I can read how supportive you are ,perhaps if you took a step back ,sometimes less words work , he may be overwhelmed by so much going on. Encourage the drawing and focus on his positive side .

[rockjs]

He has always been a very laid back kid, but this is now turning more into laziness and a lack of caring about anything.  We have set up an appointment at school because he has been disrupting class, not  doing homework (which we make him do every night before anything else) and most of his teachers are saying he doesn't try hard at anything he is given to do.  I can not understand why he is not completing his homework because he does it every night, which means he is lying about what he has and only doing some of it.  This unfortanatly is nothing new, he did this before the move and is the reason he is here now.   We had tried to get custody before because of the lack of guidance he was given at his mothers but we were denied and now that his mom is being called into school etc for his behavior she has agreed to let him come here.      ( We live in NJ, she lives in MA) His mother puts no emphasis on education (she never finished school) and to my husband education is very important.  
We are very supportive of him and encouraging, we understand the move was surely difficult for him, but I think this is just something deeper.  He goes to the gym with his dad, they fix things together and all that other father son stuff.  He likes to draw and sketch things, which we take and show family members, we even made one of his drawings into a poster for his room. He is always around family who love him and show interest in his life, he is definatly getting positive loving attention.

[rockjs]

He has always been a very laid back kid, but this is now turning more into laziness and a lack of caring about anything.  We have set up an appointment at school because he has been disrupting class, not  doing homework (which we make him do every night before anything else) and most of his teachers are saying he doesn't try hard at anything he is given to do.  I can not understand why he is not completing his homework because he does it every night, which means he is lying about what he has and only doing some of it.  This unfortanatly is nothing new, he did this before the move and is the reason he is here now.   We had tried to get custody before because of the lack of guidance he was given at his mothers but we were denied and now that his mom is being called into school etc for his behavior she has agreed to let him come here.      ( We live in NJ, she lives in MA) His mother puts no emphasis on education (she never finished school) and to my husband education is very important.  
We are very supportive of him and encouraging, we understand the move was surely difficult for him, but I think this is just something deeper.  He goes to the gym with his dad, they fix things together and all that other father son stuff.  He likes to draw and sketch things, which we take and show family members, we even made one of his drawings into a poster for his room. He is always around family who love him and show interest in his life, he is definatly getting positive loving attention.

[margypops]

He may be showing signs of needing more positive attention if he has recently come to live with his Dad and his step mom, I think he would need a lot of love and extra care and as you have limited the use of the PC and he was used to playing it get , him involved in outside activities, his dad plays sports and Ball games, Focus on his positive side and praise him when he does something good. Not having eye contact could simply mean he is uncomfortable till he gets used to people it seems like a shyness.This is probably a big change in his life, walk in his shoes.

[jdtm]

Lack of eye contact and social awkwardness is sometimes a symptom of severe anxiety and/or depression.  Does he have any other problems?  (I'm mimicking the above post to reinforce the point that there is insufficient information here).  Personally, I think there is more here than just rudeness and disrespect - what does the school say re his academic and social performances?  

[althepal39]

Lack of eye contact and social awkwardness is sometimes a sypmtom of Aspergers.  Does have other problems - like obsessing over one thing?