sleep/fears

[Jac11]

My son- aged7, is scared of the dark, while i realise this is "normal" for a child his age, as in wont go upstairs if we are all downstairs (even if i've been up there and may have at least one lite on). He is sometimes not willing to go to bed, crying so much so he works up a sweat and gets all agitated etc. He is also waking up through the nite calling out he is "scared". I reassure him going through how we lock everything and close all windows, how dogs sleep in the laundry and that his sister and I are only in the rooms next door. Sometimes it takes a good hour and a half before he settles and is asleep again. I asked him just last night what was wrong and he said he is scared that a strnager will come into his room, and "snatch him" were his exact words! Of course i reassured him he is safe etc etc... He keeps asking to come into my bed, but i am worried if i start that then thats another problem im adding into it all and not fixing the main thing - his fear !
What can i do? and how do i reassure him of his fear  - and a stranger coming to snatch him wont happen !?
Im desperate to know what to do as i end up at work sleep deprived !

[specialmom]

Being tired all day makes life just that much harder---- and it can already be hard so no one needs that!  
If he is a light sleeper and any bump in the night wakes him and has trouble going back to sleep----  what about white noise in his room, such as a fan.  Also for your daughter to keep her sleeping even if your son wakes up.  I have one who sleeps with a fan and hears nothing and another that chooses not to sleep with a fan but still is such a sound sleeper, he hears nothing.  But people like me wake up if a blade of grass blows in the wind outside----  so I like a fan or other white noise to sleep.  
When I was a kid and was scared during that time period (which I grew out of!!!!  And hopefully your son will too)----  my mom didn't over do with my comforting.  She was pretty quick about it.  And that is what I've done with my boys too.  A quick reassurance and then done.  I'm afraid that by staying in his room until he falls asleep might have made him need you there for this and then when he wakes up he looks for you to do the same thing. . .
Also, has he had anything happen during the day, any changes that could be stressing him out and it comes out as anxiety at night?
My son who is 5 a year ago went through not liking the dark kind of thing---- he has more than a nightlight on in his room at night.  A lamp in the corner makes his room fairly bright (not like an overhead light, but still. . .).  
Okay, I'm out of ideas.  I hope that he quickly grows out of it.  Sleep deprivation can make you feel kookoo ----  been there for other reasons.  I wish you lots of luck!

[Jac11]

Thanks for your wods... i feel that i try and do everything possible, and that i kinda understand y he is "scared" as i used to be not long ago (after i seperated from thier father, my hubby- i was really scared to be in the house alone esp at nite! Only time helped that one)
Its especially hard, as i sit on the floor with him, as i said for an hour or more, and if i leave earlier he cracks it and im back to where we started. Last nite wasnt the first time he's told me he is scared, ut i think it was the first time he told me he is SCARED A STRANGER will come and SNATCH him ! Thats stuck inmy head, and as much as i try and reassure him this just wont happen - its still interrupting our whole family sleep (as my daughter 8.5 - usually wakes up haring the noise!) plus i get so tired during the day at work.....

[specialmom]

Hi,  I haven't experienced this yet with my kids.  They get a little scared before bedtime but it is managable and if they have a nightmare, they might wake up and call out which is rare.
I think I'd keep the new to a minimun.  I used to watch the news before bed and often woke to terrifying dreams that had bits and pieces of the news I'd watched earlier in it.  I'd also pay attention to tv he's watching and make sure it isn't too scarey.
This has always stuck with me and I hope it doesn't offend anyone.  When I was young and I have this weird memory for my own childhood--- around that age I was very scared at night.  I'd lay in bed and feel like I was having a panic attack and could hardly breath because I was so scared.  There was this weird shadow in my window that was always there (who knows what it really was) but I was sure it was a bad guy coming to get me.  I finally told my mom about it.  She walked me back to my room and said,  Oh, that isn't anything to be scared of honey.  That is Jesus watching over you. --- If you aren't religious, I don't mean to offend.  But that immediately made me feel better.  I don't know why I'm telling you this story but to say that you know your son best, I'd try to figure out why he is scared to offer him words of courage and comfort.  Try not to over react to it and get your reassuring over with quickly so everyone can get some rest!  Nightlights do wonders and maybe one of the dogs in the laundry room could sleep on his floor by his bed (guard dog!!).  Good luck.