tantrums in school

[goldsworthy]

my 7yr old son has just gone into the first year juniors and has since had tantrum fits whenever he feels things arent going his way or doesnt want to do as he is asked. He has a new class teacher and a new head which are both new to the school both of which he likes. He simply decides when it suits to stamp his feet shouting and screaming and storm out of the room into another on his own and shout go away. He doesnt do this at home and has never done it in previuos years. i have been down every road possible grounding taking toys away threatening with naughty school the police and even guilt trips saying he is making me ill and i am going to have to go away to hospital. i have had favourite members of the family in to help with extra tuition as at first i thought it may be because he is behind in class and can see this and so is trying to disrupt the rest or even using it for attention. he has recently been excluded twice as a result for lashing out and accidentley hitting or kicking teachers, and i have on three fridays had a phone call to go and collect him early afternoon as he is not fit to be in school. I have made adoctors appointment but this isnt unfortunatley until next week when they are off school anyway, but i am really at the end and it is getting me down please help! p.s i am going about it a different way at the moment by saying ive had enough he doesnt care so neither do i which so far seems to have upset him (slightly) Thankyou Michelle

[goldsworthy]

No this isnt a private school. The school are working with us trying every option and do understand that he is normally a really likeable lad! There is no particular situation in which he lashes out other than it isnt simply when told to do something the times when he does lash out are in the play ground when they era playing rough and he is told to stop or any other time when it is heated between himself and another/others and he is told to stop. The rest of the time he simply storms out hides under a table screaming to be left alone. None of this happens at home however if the odd normal paddy comes up it is nipped in the bud immediatley and things return to normal.

[babygirl6152]

Not so sure his getting sent home for kicking a teacher is a good thing-
unless you were plenty harsh on him when he got home. Otherwise, I am sure realize it COULD eventually be something he learns to like- going home after misbehaving.
we have used shadowing at a school I used to work for- and they are actually not allowed to return to school after being suspended until the parent "shadows" them
in school for several days to a week.... You could certainly find out this way what sets off his unacceptable behaviors.....and when a child has to go thru this with a dad---- who is possibly a strict dad---- who lost time from work because of their child misbehaving, it rarely happened again..... Good luck at the doctor.

[Natta1980]

Classical avoidance behaviors - what types of things he "does not want to do" - he may need a schedule written down, with visuals if appropriate, and may require some prompting through a schedule for a while. Probably most trouble with transitions - my 4 year old (I know it is younger, but still) did not react well to increasing demands of a pre-school (while in nursery they had more of a free-frol, here he is required to sit down and listen and even do some work). You may have the same situation - transition from less structure to more structure does not go well with some children.
Most of my son's avoidance behaviors are due to his anxiety; he is also lagging in social skills and has very bad temper and very little impulse control. Once prompted, he joins and participates very well.....Do teachers allow him to get out of things because he is tantruming? The key is to not to let him get out of things - if he yells ans storms out - retreive him and prompt him to do what he needs to do, he does it again - do it again, he will eventualy get tired. I understand that it disrupts education of other children some, but good teacher should be interesting in success of all pupils, not just easy ones.

I assume it is a private school

Did the school try to correct his behaviors?  Did they offer any plans as to how to deal with it? Can they describe particular situations when he lashes out? Do you see any of these behaviors at home? My son is pretty consisten in misbehaving - if he is having a bad day - it is across all environments. Be open in communication and make it clear that you want to cooperate with teachers to address his behaviors. I always make sure that I am in the camp with the teacher - makes everything so much easier

Good luck