my 11 year old son

[fox24]

My 11 year old is a special needs child. Emotionally and physically. He has Scoliosis, Gastric Soleous Contractures in both legs (wears leg braces), Tendonitis, chronic knee pain when walks ect. Dr says he's borderline Chondromalasia Patella. He also has Fibromatosis in both feet along with a list of other muscular-skelatal issues. He being evaluated for Cerebral Palsy and Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease (CMT) right now too.
My question is that my job is transfering me to Florida and of course my son is excited because of the warm weather -were in New York! He says the warm weather would help ease alot of his pain and he could finally be a kid, like he's dreamed of for so long. Could this be true? Dr.s have agreed with him saying it would benefit his health a great deal -but i was hoping there not just saying these things to make him feel better. Please give me you opinion. It would be appreciated. Were leaving in 2 weeks and i'd like to prepare him for it.
Thank a million

[J T Junig, MD PhD]

Those are some very difficult things for an 11-y-o to deal with.  And as someone who lived in NY for 10 years (and I now live in Wisconsin), I can see many benefits to Florida living for your son.  I do think that he is likely to have less pain in a warmer climate; he will also get around more easily, without struggling with the snow everywhere he goes (especially this year!).

On the other hand, he is still going to have pain and mobility problems, and he will have some new problems.  It is certainly nice to go into a move with optimism, but I would recommend tempering it just a bit-- if you can do that without him noticing.  What do I mean by that?  I wouldn't want you to get into the dynamic where he is all excited and feels that you are 'shooting him down'-- by, say, bringing up something negative when he is all excited.  But you can avoid adding your own perhaps-overly-optimistic comments;  you can also mention some of the challenges, but mention them in a way so that they are challenges for BOTH of you.  For example, you could say:

'Moving will be fun, but I'm going to have some of those days that people have when they move-- where we worry about making friends and fitting in.  That will be a challenge for me-- and maybe for you too-- do you have any ideas for us?'

It will help him if he can see you face a challenge, see you about it realistically, and see you come to a positive and optimistic resolution.  That type of experience is always good for kids, but particularly when there is a challenge coming up.  That way he will feel less alone, and is more likely to share his frustrations with you.

As far as the new challenges, I am thinking about making new friends, especially as a person with a visible disability;  there is also less cover from multiple layers of clothing in a warm climate and so some things become more evident;  finally, there is a bit more emphasis on being mobile and being outdoors in an area that doesn't effectively shut down for 4 months each year.  I don't think I would recommend bringing any of these things up before the move, but be sensitive to them if they come up after the move.  As you know, kids can unfortunately be mean.

I wish you all the best with your move, and don't YOU forget to enjoy the weather as well!  Can I come along?   B-B-B-R-R-rrrrrrrrr.......

[fox24]

Thank You so much for the insight. Im used to dealing with his emotional needs, i'm practically an expert now. But you gave me some good pointers. I wish for him to be happy, and since he can't be healthy too - i want him to be at ease and in less pain. It's sad that all he wants is to play, have fun and just be a kid for once. He has a rough life and i hope this change will be for the best for him.  (and myself).
Don't worry, I'll enjoy the weather with NO problems. LOL
Take care and thanks for being prompt with answering me back.
Fox24