DNA / Paternity Community
Attempting to get a good range of conception dating
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to DNA/Paternity testing. The purpose of the community is for members to discuss information and share support with members who have questions about DNA / Paternity testing. Topics include when to test, types of tests, cost, reliability, confidentiality, legal issues, and results. All questions and comments posted in the patient to patient forums are provided by individual visitors who are NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.

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Attempting to get a good range of conception dating

My current bf and i kept having an off and on break up and we both started messing around and seeing other people. On the 3rd and 8th of feb i slept with an ex of mine. The days inbetween i was with my bf, and then on feb 15-17th i was with the ex. The days in between of that i was my bf. (Rocky relationship, i know) Anyways, i found out i was pregnant during spring break. And at that time i was about 5 weeks, almost 6. My current OBGYN has been following my pregnancy since i found out i was pregnant. I've had a due date of 11/5 and 11/6, but now its back to 11/5. No changes. Im 28w and 2d pregnant now. I talked to my doctor last appointment and he said my conception date is feb 12 to the 14th. I was just checking to make sure that was true cause that would make my current bf the father. I havent discussed this yet with current bf because were still a little rocky. Ex bf cut all contact with me when he found out i was pregnant and kinda already stated he wanted nothing to do with the baby if it was his. But thats besides the point. Was the doctor correct? I tried tracking from my LMP but it doesnt match up cause the only day i remember having any type of bleeding was on my actual birthday (2/4) Help please?
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5437392_tn?1374891670
If you have two sexual encounters within a small window of time then you can not be 100% positive of who the father is without paternity testing. When you have intercourse with more than one partner around the same time and a pregnancy results, it is impossible to determine who the father of the baby is based on dates.
Sperm can live inside a woman's body for 3 to 5 days. You do not know the exact date that you ovulated, so it is possible that both men's sperm were inside your body at the same time. If that were the case there is not any way to even guess which man's sperm caused the pregnancy. The only way to be certain of paternity is to have a paternity test done.
Talk to your doctor and be completely honest with him/her. Bc sperm can live for days inside a woman's body. My conception date was April 9th but the last time that I had sex was April 4th. So the sperm lived inside of my uterus for roughly 5days. And also those conception dates are based on a perfect 28 day cycle. Not 30 days,not 35 days. If it were me I wld not rely on those dates  bc the paternity of ur child is too important to not be 100% sure. My friend picked the wrong "dad" for 5 years based on those conception dates! Once your baby is born go to the drug store of ur choice and get a DNA test. You collect the samples and mail them off to a legitimate test center then you will receive the results in the privacy of ur own home and only u will know the results. And If guy A is not the father then u know that it is guy B baby. A lot of lives have been messed up going by dates. Take a minute to look up sperm survival times and fertilized egg implantation times. Then talk to ur doctor on ur next visit s/he will answer any questions that u may have. Bc this is the type of thing that u need to be 100% about. I'm not judging you bc a similar situation happened to my good friend . Her daughter called the wrong man daddy for 5 years and when he learned the truth he totally stopped being around her. She lost her "dads" entire family. It hurt her so bad! 5 years is a long time to love a person then lose them for something that you have no control over. That child was totally innocent but she was hurt the most. It was so sad. She loved her paternal family but they all dropped her like a hot potato. Personally I don't see how they cld do a child like that! How can u love a child for all tht time then u just abandon the child?! I understand being angry at the mother but not the child. And my friend made an honest mistake. Naming him as her child's father was not done maliciously. She was just going by the conception date that the u/s gave her. It was just a horrible situation for everyone especially that innocent little girl.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yeah i understand that. Its a difficult situation and its shameful to talk about. Specially when ive brought it up with other friends, some say i should just allow my bf to be the father since the fathers are the same blood type and could pass as brothers. Others say i should get the paternity test and then take it from there. Its just been the most stressful thing in this pregnancy. I dont want to mess up my childs life. I grew up without a mother and a father, and i want the best life for my child. But i fear if my bf isnt the father of the child and my ex is, then my childs life will be really difficult. Its complicated, like i said. I dont have family of my own, so i dont have anywhere to run to if bf and i break up. And ex bf isnt going to be in the picture at all. I'm going to talk to my doctor, even though i already told him everything about it. Maybe hes right, maybe hes not. I cant just base it on one date. I guess i'll just have to do a paternity test, who knows. Its difficult
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Avatar_f_tn
at this point, all i can do is trust god. He knows that I feel bad for the actions ive done, and he knows in my heart i want the best for the child. And i believe that he has a plan. Ive learned a lot during this pregnanacy, i cant for sure say its what God actually has in mind. But my ex was my first love, and had so much control over my heart still... when i found out i was pregnant and he showed his true colors, while my bf still loved me through everything, i learned to show strength. And thats kinda what ive been holding onto. Hope that God gave me a baby with my Boyfriend.
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5437392_tn?1374891670
Do not be ashamed bc we all have sinned and come short! One sin is any worse than another sin. Only God can judge u!  And you can feel free to talk to ur dr about this bc s/he can not say anythg to anyone! And believe me he has heard ur situation before and he will here it again! Girl just buy a test from the drug store and test 1 of the guys in question. If its turns out that the guy tht u test is not the dad then u know tht the other guy is the dad. U don't even have to tell him what you are doing. You can just swab his cheek one night while he is asleep! Or maybe get the DNA from his tooth brush or somethg like that. Then u mail the samples off to the lab then they mail you the results and u only. A real lab tests the samples so its accurate. I know several ppl that have done it. In all it will cost you abt $115-$125. Going to a testing center cost like $300 and the father wld have to know. The mail in way only involves u knowing. A guy friend of mine tested his daughter. He swabbed her cheek then he swabbed his, mailed the sample off and she turned out to be his. And the mother was never the wiser. I know another guy that tested his daughter and she was not his! But the "mail in/no one knows but you and God way" helps u to avoid a Maury type situation or him telling the entire town or worse yet putting ur business on Facebook & Twitter!
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Avatar_f_tn
So when the mail comes in, will it be addressed to me and with the dna companies name? Cause if thats so, my bf would see it and probably open it...
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5437392_tn?1374891670
No it's totally private . It didn't say anything about  DNA test Center on the results. If it said where it came from that would totally defeat the purpose of privacy. My guy friend's came like "sex shop" stuff comes. It has like an innocent name on the package. The home tests were made to be private. I will ask him for the exact name of the company. He got his results mailed but I'm sure that there are other ways to get ur results. But I will ask him. He works days and he is already at work by now or I would call him now. It is 8:49 am here. And he gets home from work about 6pm or so but I will ask him about the company name and if there are other ways to get your results. But the test are accurate and nobody knows the results or that you even took the test but you. Bc both of the guys that I am friends with both did it without the mothers knowledge. Bc that would have caused so much mess if they had asked the kids moms for a test. It was much more simple and painless this way. It's your information and you do what you and to do with it. But they do have a non invasive blood test now tht gets the babies DNA from the moms blood but tht costs like $2000 then you would have to tell ur bf bc he would have to be tested. Personally I would rather go the private mail route. But you may be lucky and the baby is born and the baby looks just like ur current BF so all this concern my be all for nothing.  An again don't be embarrassed or ashamed. It is what it is and life happens to everyone. May God bless you and I pray that things work out the way tht u want them to.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you very much Lucy. You have helped a lot. I think I'll more than likely get the paternity test done if the baby doesnt look him and if i still have a big concern when shes born.
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Avatar_f_tn
What if you have 2 ultrasound and there both
The same range. Like feb25 I had one and it
Was 6w 3days (seen baby and heartbeat) then march3 it said 7w.
I had sex all january and feb with  guy a and
One time feb 10 with guy b. Couldnt it be ruled
Out seeing I would have been 4w wen the ultrasoun
Said 6w 3days with guy b.
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