Opinion on paternity please

[Corey25]

So I had sex March 1st (without a condom for a few minutes then he put one on) and then March 9th and forward with someone I began dating (pull out method, multiple times). I found out I was pregnant at 17 weeks because I had bleeding late March I thought was a period. I was due December 1st and had my baby December 4th. The baby was born 6lbs 2 oz and measured small throughout pregnancy both with US and with fundal height checks. What are the chances it is my current bfs? Doing a paternity test to be sure but some input would be appreciated.

[Amanda2277]

This scenario is a lit like mine, if you don't mind my asking why do you feel so much more positive about your answer to her thaean with me?

[Corey25]

I would believe the test. I feel the dad is my bf it's just the fact that it could be so life changing that  is what bothers me. But I'm very blessed to have such a perfect, sweet baby. So I will stop stressing. Thank you so much for your input and reassurance.

[Corey25]

Thank you  I appreciate your answer I'm not trying to sound doubtful just liked hearing what you were saying because it's something that has bothered me. I feel like it's not from the 1st but it's just the guilt that makes me upset I guess.

[Corey25]

I'm just so paranoid that I'll have a test done and it will say he's not the father because I'd be so devestated

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, the only way to know for sure what the test is going to say is to take the test. Not taking it is a recipe for stress.

People often obsess about the thing their mind tells them they can control (such as doing figuring about the dates) when they are faced with something they can't control (such as guilt over their behavior, or -- for some women -- the idea of being a mom and unmarried, or being with a certain guy who is not ideal dad material, or being a mom at all).  If you get the feeling the dates are not really what is bothering you, see a counselor to talk about what is bothering you, because otherwise you'll be one of the ones who writes in after getting the test and says "What if the test is WRONG!?!?!"  

[Corey25]

Yeas I want to rule that person out, I'm really hoping my bf is the  father. Are you sure even though my first Ultrasound was done so late on.. I've been told it can be wrong up to 10 days  which makes me nervous that it could be the guy from the first.

[AnnieBrooke]

Corey, you asked and I've given my best answer and now you are asking "are you sure?"  I assume if I told you that the ultrasound was too late for accuracy, you would also be asking "are you sure?"  I am assessing what your data suggest.  To be sure, you need a DNA test.  

If you got pregnant from the sex on March 1, your due date would have been November 21, or up to the 26th if you are relying on the "sperm living a long time" theory.  The 26th is not the 1st, and also theoretically the baby would not have been somewhat small (unless the first guy is unusually small and the baby got his stature).

You can basically spend a lot of time developing "what if?" scenarios, but if you get your DNA test you will know.

[Corey25]

Based off my ultrasounds my due dates were Dec 1st based off earliest ultrasound, less than a month later I had another giving me dec 3rd, then at 30w I had one where I measured 8 days behind giving me a due date of Dec. 9th. My most recent before giving birth I was 38w2d and measured 2.5 weeks behind and they told me he was measuring 6lb 4 oz however he was born at 40w 3d at 6lb2oz, so he was obviously smaller than they had thought, meaning he was more that 2.5 weeks behind. I don't know if the measurements give any more insight into it.

[Corey25]

Of course they kept my original due date of Dec. 1st because it was earliest but those measurments were just to give you an idea.

[Corey25]

My fault it was actually the 10th of March I got with my current bf.

[AnnieBrooke]

You're saying that you want to rule out the sex on March 1, right?  From everything you have said, it sounds like the pregnancy did not come from that person.

[AnnieBrooke]

I assume when  you say you had sex "March 1 ... and then March 9," you mean that it was with one person March 1 and another person March 9?  I would suggest that the baby was conceived after March 9. If the only sex you are concerned about was the sex March 1, you are probably safe to assume the pregnancy did not come from that person.  Definitely get the DNA test so as never to have to wonder, though.

[Corey25]

Yes it was with someone else I was seeing but then I stopped and got back with and previous bf who I am still with on the 9th and since then. It has been driving me crazy this whole time. So I will do a paternity test. Do you think it most likely occurred after the 9th even though my first dating scan was so late? I've been worrying myself with all possible worst case scenarios like the sperm lived the full 5 days and the baby was really late. Thank you by the way for responding!