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Paternity
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to DNA/Paternity testing. The purpose of the community is for members to discuss information and share support with members who have questions about DNA / Paternity testing. Topics include when to test, types of tests, cost, reliability, confidentiality, legal issues, and results. All questions and comments posted in the patient to patient forums are provided by individual visitors who are NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.

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Paternity

Cycle average from 25somtime 26 days 2008 lmp was 8/31/08 sex on 9/11/08 with 1 man then 9/14/08 with the other baby was born 6/1/09 I plan a dan test but which is the highest chance of being the father
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134578_tn?1404951303
You plan a DNA test?  Don't you think you should hop to it?  If you are getting child support and paternity is in question, you should find out right away before you wind up owing back child support.  Or what if the biological father dies?  You need to have paternity established legally, for your child to have any claim to Social Security survivor's benefits.  

There is a slightly greater chance by the calendar that the first guy is the dad, but there is no way to know without a DNA test, when the two guys are only three days apart.  'By the calendar' is saying that the average woman ovulates on a certain date.  But it does not guarantee that you did.

There are conception calculators online that just ask for the birth date, but others are available online that ask for the length of your cycle and compute that into the mix.  You might find one of those and key in your dates to see what they say.  Again, with the difference being only 3 days, a test is the only way to go.  Also if you want a test that will stand up legally, you should get one at a certified lab.

Good luck, I hope the dad is the man you want it to be.  


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Avatar_f_tn
The 2 man is my husband I want it to be him he don't have a clue bout none of this
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134578_tn?1404951303
Hmmm.  Is the second man willing to take a quiet DNA test and will not spill the beans to your husband if it turns out to be negative?  In other words, will the secret keep, if the dad turns out to be your husband?
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134578_tn?1404951303
The other question I'm thinking about is, you had sex with your husband and another guy in short succession.  It sounds like you are saying the 9/11 guy is the "other man" and the 9/14 guy is your husband?  Did you also have sex with your husband earlier in September, like the 7th or 8th or 9th?  And was either sex protected, or incomplete (man not ejaculating)?  The reason I'm wondering is if, say, you had sex with your husband on September 8 and then sex with the other guy on the 11th, and then sex again on the 14th with your husband, and if the sex was unprotected, your husband's swimmers could have been in your system the whole time and viable.  That makes it even harder to try to judge anything by the calendar alone.
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Avatar_f_tn
The 1st man was 9/11 that's the only sex I had till 9/14 both was unprotected sex my husband and I didn't have sex till the 14thand yes the guy did ejaculate
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134578_tn?1404951303
By "the 1st man" do you mean the one you are not married to?  And you had not had sex recently before the 9/11 event, with your husband?
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Avatar_f_tn
No I had not had sex with husband before tthe 9/11
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Avatar_f_tn
Imay have on the 7 or 8th I am not sure
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Avatar_f_tn
I am home from work now and I looked at my 08 calendar no I did not have sex with my husband till the 14th
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134578_tn?1404951303
Well, dear, the odds slightly (but only slightly) favor the person on the 11th.  But if you had sperm in your system at the time of ovulation that came from both guys, it is a toss-up whose sperm produced the baby.  Then the question would be, what do you want and what is fair to the child.

If you think your husband will never have an inkling, and (this is the important part) you love him deeply, will never leave him, and will never, ever cheat again, and if you think the secret will keep, it might be fairer to the child to never tell.  Why break up a loving family for something that happened back then one time and will never be repeated because you have learned from your mistake?

On the other hand, if you really are not into the marriage and think it might end anyway, it is fairer to the man to clarify things pretty soon, i.e., not to fool him into raising another man's child (if that is who the child is).  This argument comes into play if the relationship is not worth much anyway.

In short, a great relationship trumps biology.  If he is a loving and doting daddy and you love him and want to be with him until death do you part, that has value over and above almost all else.  If that is your situation, and IF you don't think the other man will ever say anything, you might consider letting the question be buried with you.  

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Avatar_f_tn
I went back and found my 2008 calendar my cycle was as I said between 25 and 26 days I did not have sex with my husband till 9/14 I really don't think he is the father I just hope my daughter dont end up tall like the rest of the man other children and my husband is very short and so am I the man I slept with is round 6'3 or 4 my husband and r barely over 5'
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134578_tn?1404951303
Well, as I said, if you love your husband deeply, will never leave him, and will never, ever cheat again, AND if you think the secret will keep, it might be fairer to the child to never tell.  Why break up a loving family for something that happened back then?  But if you really are not into the marriage and think it might end anyway, it is fairer not to fool him into raising another man's child (if that is who the child is).  Though a great relationship trumps biology, if you think he is going to piece it together sooner or later, it is fairer to him to tell him sooner.  Is there any chance the "other man" can take a DNA test?  If he will, and if he doesn't fake the test (such as with a different guy's DNA) it might clear him, which will answer the question without your husband needing to know.
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