Pregnant

[Zeze_1994]

Hi pepow please help I had sex with two guys 3 days apart I had sex on the 18 February the other I had sex with on the 21 February and was ovulating on the 23 who is more likely to be the father

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Zeze, how do you know you ovulated on the 23rd?

[Zeze_1994]

Ok thanks a lot

[Zeze_1994]

I used the number the doctor will use

[AnnieBrooke]

OK, and what about my question about you saying "Last week on the 23 March?" Last week and the 23rd of March are two different times, since 23 March is about two weeks ago.

If you did the test on March 23, and counted out the "5 weeks" as the doctor would count it, that would suggest you conceived around March 2.

[AnnieBrooke]

And do you know how the test does the count? Does it count from conception, or from the beginning of your period (which is how a doctor counts it)?

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you have a chart from the packet that says something like, "If the test says 1-2 weeks, that means your doctor will date the pregnancy at 3-4 weeks from your last period?" If that is what your test said, did you go with the number the doctor will use or the number the test said on the stick?

[AnnieBrooke]

Also, it's 1:37 am where I am, so I have to leave now. Will check back in about 9 hours.

[Zeze_1994]

And the test said I'm 5 weeks pregnant

[Zeze_1994]

I did the test last week on the 23 march

[AnnieBrooke]

Um, today is April 4. By my count, the 23 of March is not "last week," but 12 days ago. Did you mean the 28 of March?

[AnnieBrooke]

Oh, and just above you said you had sex with the guy from the 21st for three days. But earlier you said you "had sex again with my other boyfriend for the whole week from the 21 and I stay with him." So, I assume he would be in range for February 28 through March 3 if that was when you conceived?

[AnnieBrooke]

So, and I'm sure you can see where I am going with this, let's say you had no more living sperm in your body after February 24 from the guy with whom you had sex on February 18. That is a pretty safe bet. (Unless, of course, you had sex with him later, but I asked you that and you said no, Feb. 18 was the latest.)

Then the question is, based on your period that began on February 14, when were you most likely to ovulate? (Forgetting the app for a moment since who knows what it is based on.) If you always have at least a 30-day menstrual month, and especially if they are super regular and you can practically set your clock by when your next period is coming, you would ovulate 14 days before your next period was due. Since Feb. is a short month, your next period would be due March 17. Counting back from that 14 days, it sounds like you got pregnant on March 3. Even if you had an average woman's cycle of 28 days, you would have gotten pregnant no earlier than February 28. Not February 24, not February 18.

Now, let's see how that squares with your pregnancy test. When did you take it?

[Zeze_1994]

Ja so if I had sex on 18 with guy#1 and had sex with guy#2 on 21 and again for three days after that who is more likely to be the father

[AnnieBrooke]

A couple of basics to know about human sexuality.

- Men's sperm is said to stay alive in the woman's reproductive tract 4 to 6 days. It is not said to be very mighty by day 6, some scientists think it might not even be able to penetrate the egg by then. But some think it might last a little longer. This is why I asked about the guy on the 18th. I am trying to work out how many days in February his sperm would have been alive in your body. Unless you had sex with him later than the 18th, his sperm should have been all dead by the 24th or so.

- Women's ovulation (the egg popping out of the ovary) happens 14-15 days BEFORE the next period.  This makes it a crapshoot for women with menstrual months that vary in length -- they will never know when two weeks before their next period is. But your cycles being regular suggest that one can (tentatively) use the reliability of your menstrual months to project the next one and the next one after that. And them being long (30-31 days is 3 days longer than average) suggests that you ovulate a little later in your month. If your period arriving is "day 1" of your cycle, a person who always has 30-31 day cycles will ovulate around day 16 or even day 17. Again, this kind of projection relies on you being regular in your monthly clock.

[AnnieBrooke]

Things might not be as bad as they seemed to you from your not-at-all-useful ovulation app. What kind of app would say you ovulated only nine days from your previous period? Only someone with a really short menstrual month would do that, and most apps just use averages that are not based on short menstrual months. But even a specialty app that took in months of data specifically from you and did custom calculations would not tell you that your ovulation was on the 23rd if your period began on the 14th, since such an app would notice that your cycles are 30 or 31 days, not short months but longer than the average menstrual month.

[AnnieBrooke]

Anyway, I am going to type out a little bit of info so you will understand what I'm going to tell you that I think.

[Zeze_1994]

Esh sorry I'm just too stressed

[Zeze_1994]

Yes

[AnnieBrooke]

Except the "5 weeks from conception" part, is that right? You say later in this thread that you counted the way a doctor would count, which is not from conception but from the first day of your last period. This would mean that your test on March 23 suggested you were only 3 weeks from conception and about 5 weeks from the first day of your last period on the day you took the test.

[AnnieBrooke]

OK, so let's look at this.

You had a period that began on the 14th of Feb.
Your cycles (menstrual months) are pretty regular at 30 or 31 days.
You didn't get your period in March.
In Feb. you had sex on the 18th with guy #1.
You had sex on the 21st with guy #2.
You didn't have any more sex with guy #1 after the 21st. You did continue to have sex with guy #2 after the 21st.
You took a pregnancy test recently that said you were 5 weeks from conception.

Is this about right?

[AnnieBrooke]

I guess I should have written, you didn't have sex with guy #1 after the 18th, not just the 21st. Is that right?

[Zeze_1994]

It always come on the 13 sometimes on the 14

[AnnieBrooke]

And would this hold true month in and month out? Every 31 days you would expect a new period?

[Zeze_1994]

14 January till 13 February it 31 days

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Zeze, please read what I am asking you again. How often do you get a new period? Not "is your period normal," not "how long do you bleed when you get a period," but how often does a new one come along? Once a month? Once every certain number of days?

[AnnieBrooke]

In other words, when you get a period, in how many days would you expect to have a new one begin?

[Zeze_1994]

My period was normal since December it always lasted for 5 days

[AnnieBrooke]

I asked above, "Do your periods come every certain number of days exactly, (like, every 28 days on the dot) or does the number of days between them vary?" I am not asking how long the bleeding lasted. I am asking if, say, your period came on January 1, on what date would the next one be likely to come? How many days from "day 1" of bleeding of one period, to "day 1" of bleeding of the next period?

[Zeze_1994]

I also went to the clinic to check STDs

[Zeze_1994]

Both sexual occasions were unprotected I did a home pregnancy test with (clearblu) and I'm 5 weeks pregnant

[Zeze_1994]

The first day of my period was on the 18 February,my periods last for 5 days and it was always normal,I had sex with my boyfriend after my periods that on the 18 then had sex again with my other boyfriend for the whole week from the 21 and I stay with him

[AnnieBrooke]

OK, well, since ovulation apps are not infallible (a woman can have an unusual cycle and ovulate late or early, and the app won't be able to account for or expect that), let's see how we can tell more accurately when you might have ovulated.

You have said you had sex on February 18 and February 21. It's possible neither one was that near to when you ovulated. Let's see if we can figure that part out:

- When was the first day of your last period?
- Do your periods come every certain number of days exactly, (like, every 28 days on the dot) or does the number of days between them vary?
- Was the sex February 18 protected?
- Was the sex February 21 protected?
(If either was not protected, have you been checked for STDs?)
- Did you have any other sex before or after February 18 / 21, or was that all the sex you had between your last period and learning you were pregnant? (Was that sex protected?)
- How did you learn you were pregnant, a home test or a doctor?
- When did you learn you were pregnant?
- Have you had an ultrasound yet?