Aa
dates dont add up
My son only started going out with his girlfriend round about the 15th august we found out she is pregnant at the end of august 3 weeks she was meant to be she had 2nd scan and by our dates should of been 7-8 weeks they came back and she said she was 12 weeks, due the 25/04/2015 her mam is trying to say they allways add 2 weeks on top of how many weeks you are just dont make sense to me i don't think its my sons baby but they are adamant it is. Do these dates makes any sense
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
If your son saw that on her second scan, that should be enough to get his mind clicking about the dates. You don't need to belabor the point to him or get into dramas with her family. The DNA test will tell what needs to be told, when the time comes. I assume that you know Ravgen and the DDC can do prenatal paternity testing? But it is very expensive. If she intends to keep the baby regardless of who the father is, the DNA test can wait until April.
COMMUNITY LEADER
It does not sound like your son will be hurt. He can be supportive for a friend, that will not do anything but good, for her and also for him. And he can get the DNA test knowing he might not be the father. Forewarned is forearmed when it comes to being hurt. He should take the attitude that the dates don't seem correct, but his friend needs support. The DNA test will reveal what is true. Try to stop stressing and worrying. This will all be answered.
Did the ultrasound tech or the doctor give the girl a due date at her earliest appointment or her second one, based on the ultrasound? If so, what was it?
Did the ultrasound tech or the doctor give the girl a due date at her earliest appointment or her second one, based on the ultrasound? If so, what was it?
Sorry if my message came across like it did its the not knowing that have me so worried & stressed out also worried what this will do to my son he has a heart of gold and is a good lad i don't want my son hurt and i said she found out she was pregnant on the 5th september they started going out on the 18th august
I got the dates mixed up at the start of this post my son give me the dates last night as he has doubts as well i kept my doubts to myself when we found out she was pregnant because i didnt want to put ideas in my sons head if it was not true but the fact that he came out with his doubts last night has made all mine come back he wants a dna himself but is willing to stay with her till she has her son but thats not till april i just wanted to know if the dates would make anyone else think the same as me could he be someone elses child
COMMUNITY LEADER
I was agreeing with you that the dates as you explain them don't sound correct. (Please note, you said in your original post that your son and she were dating after August 15 and she found out she was pregnant by August 30, and just above you have changed this all to they were dating as of September 5, so actually the dates sound confusing all around. But I was basing my comment that the dates did not add up on about a two-week difference in when you said they began to have sex and when she should have gotten pregnant.) So, I was agreeing with you that the dates don't sound correct. Off by about two weeks.
Second, I was saying that perhaps you don't know the whole story and it is possible that your son has not told you the whole story.
Third, possibly your son knows a true story about the situation (such as abuse or molestation) that he does not want to tell you, and he is fond enough of the girl to step in and be protective.
Fourth, he is nearly a legal adult, and unless you can force a DNA test when he is still a minor, you might not have any legal rights here, but you should see a lawyer to find out.
Nobody is disagreeing with you about the 8 weeks and the 12 weeks and the 16 + 5, so for heaven's sake, simmer down. If you are mad at the situation, it's understandable, but don't get mad at people on the one corner of the Internet who might want to help you figure things out.
Finally, being a mom of an adult is different than being a mom of a kid. You asked "Don't I have a right to know?" You have less right to know than you used to, and I'm sorry you have to find this fact out over something so major. If your son has given you carte blanche to ask a lot of questions, fine, but it does not sound like he actually has. So tread softly, with him and with her family. I think it will all come out in the wash.
Second, I was saying that perhaps you don't know the whole story and it is possible that your son has not told you the whole story.
Third, possibly your son knows a true story about the situation (such as abuse or molestation) that he does not want to tell you, and he is fond enough of the girl to step in and be protective.
Fourth, he is nearly a legal adult, and unless you can force a DNA test when he is still a minor, you might not have any legal rights here, but you should see a lawyer to find out.
Nobody is disagreeing with you about the 8 weeks and the 12 weeks and the 16 + 5, so for heaven's sake, simmer down. If you are mad at the situation, it's understandable, but don't get mad at people on the one corner of the Internet who might want to help you figure things out.
Finally, being a mom of an adult is different than being a mom of a kid. You asked "Don't I have a right to know?" You have less right to know than you used to, and I'm sorry you have to find this fact out over something so major. If your son has given you carte blanche to ask a lot of questions, fine, but it does not sound like he actually has. So tread softly, with him and with her family. I think it will all come out in the wash.
First of all i don't run his life just things dont add up and i have right to know as well do i not ? 18th august they met and started going out 5th september she did test came back she was pregnant she had a internal scan on the 19th september which scan said she was 8 weeks then 4 week later she had scan which they said she was 12 weeks the 13th nov they had a gender scan which said she was 16 weeks + 5 days she now 18 weeks so what am saying is they only been together 13 or 14 weeks yet she 18 weeks pregnant
COMMUNITY LEADER
Kelmae, they do count pregnancy as beginning on the first day of bleeding of the woman's last period that she had before getting pregnant. If a woman's last period began on January 1, and she got pregnant on January 14 when she ovulated, and went in on January 28 for an ultrasound, if they could see the baby that early they would not tell her that she is 2 weeks pregnant, they would tell her she is four weeks pregnant. Because the count begins on the first day of bleeding. Of course she is not pregnant then, she is having a period! But that is when the medical count of weeks of pregnancy starts.
That said, it does sound from the way that you are explaining things like this girl is about two weeks further along than you yourself (not necessarily your son) expect her to be. It sounds like she conceived around August 2.
This could be, as one poster has said, explained by her and your son having had sex earlier than he has admitted to you that they had it. You say he chatted on Facebook with her and she was on vacation and so on. But that does not prove that the first time they had sex was not August 2. Also, sometimes people don't in fact remember the date they first became intimate. Sometimes they know but don't feel like telling their mother when it was, either because they already told her something else and want to stick with the story or because the true story is a little too embarrassing.
And yes, it could also be explained by her having had sex with someone else, before getting together with your son. And please give her the benefit of the doubt -- if her mother does not know this, there might be trauma involved, such as abuse or worse. She might have important reasons not to unburden herself to her mother.
It could also be that both she and your son know what is going on exactly, and they have made the agreement to go forward as though the child is his. If he is doing this to help her out of a terrible situation, well, you have raised a good son. I would not leap to the conclusion that your boy is a stupid dupe. He might be helping someone in deep need.
i don't know the law where you are, but assume that if you have any legal standing at all to ask for a DNA test, it will end when your son turns 18. The only thing you can really do is assume the best, be supportive to them both, and hope the truth will come out in the end. He is only 17 but he did have sex. You cannot run his life, very soon now he will legally be an adult. You have to accept that you don't know the whole story and nobody is going to volunteer it to you if you get in there and up the drama. The only way you will ever hear her doubts, or his, is if you continue to be extremely supportive.
That all said, I would have a quiet word with a lawyer or solicitor to see if you can get a DNA test done when the child is born, unless you already know you cannot ask for this.
I'm sorry, but there are some things our children take on by themselves and mothers cannot change for them.
That said, it does sound from the way that you are explaining things like this girl is about two weeks further along than you yourself (not necessarily your son) expect her to be. It sounds like she conceived around August 2.
This could be, as one poster has said, explained by her and your son having had sex earlier than he has admitted to you that they had it. You say he chatted on Facebook with her and she was on vacation and so on. But that does not prove that the first time they had sex was not August 2. Also, sometimes people don't in fact remember the date they first became intimate. Sometimes they know but don't feel like telling their mother when it was, either because they already told her something else and want to stick with the story or because the true story is a little too embarrassing.
And yes, it could also be explained by her having had sex with someone else, before getting together with your son. And please give her the benefit of the doubt -- if her mother does not know this, there might be trauma involved, such as abuse or worse. She might have important reasons not to unburden herself to her mother.
It could also be that both she and your son know what is going on exactly, and they have made the agreement to go forward as though the child is his. If he is doing this to help her out of a terrible situation, well, you have raised a good son. I would not leap to the conclusion that your boy is a stupid dupe. He might be helping someone in deep need.
i don't know the law where you are, but assume that if you have any legal standing at all to ask for a DNA test, it will end when your son turns 18. The only thing you can really do is assume the best, be supportive to them both, and hope the truth will come out in the end. He is only 17 but he did have sex. You cannot run his life, very soon now he will legally be an adult. You have to accept that you don't know the whole story and nobody is going to volunteer it to you if you get in there and up the drama. The only way you will ever hear her doubts, or his, is if you continue to be extremely supportive.
That all said, I would have a quiet word with a lawyer or solicitor to see if you can get a DNA test done when the child is born, unless you already know you cannot ask for this.
I'm sorry, but there are some things our children take on by themselves and mothers cannot change for them.
I agree yes but we have a right to know and i aint said much to my son because i dont want to say all this just in case i could be wrong and it would have to be him to ask for dna
She was bleeding at the start so she went to hospital they give her a internal scan said she was 3 weeks she said she never been with no one before and her last period was 19th july as she was on holiday my son didnt know her then
I have heard of some places adding 2 weeks because of ovulation. So the baby could very well be his.
Even if its not his baby he may still love the baby like its his. Let him know your doubts calmly because no it doesn't add up. Just let him know. And tell him to ask her about a DNA test if she agrees to it then either it is his or she also believes its his if she denies the DNA test then she knows there is a chance its not his but wants your son to be the father and not the other guy. But you can buy a DNA test at the drug store for 25$ do the swabs at home on the baby and your son then you mail it in 89$ and they'll send you the results. Just remember to tread lightly because your questions may upset your son.
No they never cause they only started chatting on facebook few weeks before they met up and he told me he was staying at his mates when infact he was at her house then day after he brought her to ours so he could change his clothes
They count from the first day of your menstrual cycle, they do add two weeks to what you are, but not 3 our 4, only two. So if your 4weeks pregnant you've technically have only been pregnant for 2weeks. It's strange but they do it.
They weren't dating long enough for them to have this kind hold and babies are not easy I don't know many teen boys that would jump at father hood like that I just had my first now my whole life is her she hasn't been here a month and has taken over
They probably head intercourse before they stated dating officially. You have to think like a teenager sometimes.
So annoyed that her and her family are going along with it and when me and my family said the dates don't add up there been nothing but drama the more time my son spends over there the more they filling his head with rubbish. If he wants to stay with her then fair enough but its all the lies that make me so mad my 2 young daughters are so excited at the thought they have a new nephew on the way its not nice for any of us but more so me son
Honestly there's a lot of people who start dating and te girl finds out she's pregnant, in some cases everything works out with the guy they start dating and the guy just doesn't care. It's still early in the relationship and pregnancy. They are still young too. So even if it's not biologically his he may not be too let down and still love the baby and care for it as if it were his own (assuming they stay together) but if it's not his then it'd be good to have it be known if they don't work out he could end up paying for a child that's not his
Men don't connect usually until the baby arrives in between time they are just and idea his love is with her and whatever she is filling his head with but they are teens and neither needs too be trapped get a DNA test he will be more hurt if she yells it in anger or if he finds out years from now
I knew deep down we just paid for the 16 week gender scan last week and she having boy my son only 17 and i dont want to hurt him as he believes it is his son
Babies develop at different rates, but not usually in the first trimester. I'd get a DNA test to confirm when the baby is born
No they don't and I doubt if its his that's way to soon and usually when we try to guess at home its always two weeks ahead women think they are further along and i think she probably just didn't know she was pregnant before she slept with him cause she is very early but you can't always give ppl the benefit of a doubt
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