Aa
who is the father?
Okay so I made the biggest mistake of my life. My lmp was 3/21/14 and I have about a 37 day cycle. According to the sites, my ovulation dates range from 4/10-4/14. I had sex with a colleague on 4/10 with a condom. He did penetrate me earlier in the day without a condom for a few seconds before asking him to stop. Then later that evening we had sex for less than a minute (how long it took him to ***) using a condom. During that weekend (4/12-4/13) up to early morning 4/14 my husband and I had sex unprotected. Now I'm pregnant and freaking out of who may be the father. My original due date was 12/26 based on lmp but when the ultrasound was done, they changed it to 1/4/15. Please help me figure this out!
Yes that was my initial plan. Oh man if all goes well. I have a lot of thanking up above and making it up to my husband. I think it will be ok in the end. Thank you again for all your help and some comforting words and thoughts.
COMMUNITY LEADER
(At least that way, if it turns out Mr. C. is the father, you have tested twice to be entirely sure, before you have to deliver the bad news to everyone.)
COMMUNITY LEADER
ps -- Because the chances are strongest for your husband, you could use a drugstore test with Mr. Colleague. Just be sure you mail the samples yourself, don't give them to him to mail. If it comes out positive for him, then re-test at a lab approved by the family courts for determining paternity, just to be sure it is correct.
Yea you are right. In my heart I feel its my husbands but I cant be sure until I do a dna. I never thought to be in this situation and I feel horrible. I know if I ever told my husband it would be the end and I will tell him if its not his but if it is his, I will spend a life time making it up and being the best I can be. Thank you for your answers and help
COMMUNITY LEADER
If he is married, he could have had sex that morning. Not saying, but anything is possible. My guess is that your husband has the stronger odds but this is something for a DNA test, in the end.
Wow! At the time mr colleague and I did what we dis, my husband and I were going through a rough patch. My colleague is so married with a pregnant wife due October and was also in a rough patch. We were at work the first time when he penetrated me but I realized we had no condom I quickly asked him to get off. I doubt he masturbated that morning.
COMMUNITY LEADER
The conception calculator I use (and it works out correctly to the first day of your last period if you take into account that you have 37-day cycles), gives the following for the due date of January 4.
Probable date of ovulation: April 13
Possible dates of conception: April 9 to 17
If any sperm got into your reproductive tract from the sex on the 10th, it would still be in your system on April 13, and still viable. The way it could have gotten there is either condom failure, which it does not sound like you had or you would have mentioned it, or if Mr. Colleague had ejaculated before penetrating you the first time earlier in the day (the time when you had penetration without protection). But unless Mr. Colleague is in the habit of jacking off at work, the chances are not entirely strong that he had sperm in his urethra. (Or were you two not at work? Then it's anyone's guess. Who knows what a guy does with morning wood, and by now he likely would not even remember if he had ejaculated that morning before you two had the unprotected part of your encounter.)
The sex with Mr. Husband, being plentiful, unprotected and right at the time you would have ovulated (according to your ultrasound, which is early enough in the pregnancy to be close, if not spot on), obviously has much better odds of having produced the baby.
I assume you are trying not to have to admit this situation to your husband? Here's the way that works out. You are going to need a DNA test, no matter what the odds are that the baby is your husband's, since this is too important a question (to you, to the baby, and to both men) to skate. That means, if your marriage is not going well anyway (in other words, if Mr. Colleague is a symptom of a marriage going south, not an unusual one-time aberration in your faithful and happy life), you might as well be transparent with your husband about the need to test. Tell him the baby is most likely his, but that you don't want to go through life always wondering, and that you're going to need a DNA test just to put this slight doubt to rest forever.
On the other hand, if your marriage is going well (how Mr. Colleague fits in, in this scenario, I don't know) and you want to preserve it -- although I usually recommend transparency, you could do the test with just Mr. Colleague, after the baby is born. Or, before the baby is born, if you have two thousand dollars for a prenatal blood test.
If you do opt to test secretly with Mr. Colleague, please remember that you owe your husband. You'll be withholding information from him that is pretty material, if he would want full knowledge about where he stands in regards to being married to you. If you opt to keep this question a secret, pay him back and atone for your impulsive action that did not consider his feelings, by making him the happiest dad in the world forever.
If you don't have the heart to make him the happiest dad in the world forever, you may as well tell him what happened. Odds are, the baby is his, but he deserves to know the state of his marriage.
Probable date of ovulation: April 13
Possible dates of conception: April 9 to 17
If any sperm got into your reproductive tract from the sex on the 10th, it would still be in your system on April 13, and still viable. The way it could have gotten there is either condom failure, which it does not sound like you had or you would have mentioned it, or if Mr. Colleague had ejaculated before penetrating you the first time earlier in the day (the time when you had penetration without protection). But unless Mr. Colleague is in the habit of jacking off at work, the chances are not entirely strong that he had sperm in his urethra. (Or were you two not at work? Then it's anyone's guess. Who knows what a guy does with morning wood, and by now he likely would not even remember if he had ejaculated that morning before you two had the unprotected part of your encounter.)
The sex with Mr. Husband, being plentiful, unprotected and right at the time you would have ovulated (according to your ultrasound, which is early enough in the pregnancy to be close, if not spot on), obviously has much better odds of having produced the baby.
I assume you are trying not to have to admit this situation to your husband? Here's the way that works out. You are going to need a DNA test, no matter what the odds are that the baby is your husband's, since this is too important a question (to you, to the baby, and to both men) to skate. That means, if your marriage is not going well anyway (in other words, if Mr. Colleague is a symptom of a marriage going south, not an unusual one-time aberration in your faithful and happy life), you might as well be transparent with your husband about the need to test. Tell him the baby is most likely his, but that you don't want to go through life always wondering, and that you're going to need a DNA test just to put this slight doubt to rest forever.
On the other hand, if your marriage is going well (how Mr. Colleague fits in, in this scenario, I don't know) and you want to preserve it -- although I usually recommend transparency, you could do the test with just Mr. Colleague, after the baby is born. Or, before the baby is born, if you have two thousand dollars for a prenatal blood test.
If you do opt to test secretly with Mr. Colleague, please remember that you owe your husband. You'll be withholding information from him that is pretty material, if he would want full knowledge about where he stands in regards to being married to you. If you opt to keep this question a secret, pay him back and atone for your impulsive action that did not consider his feelings, by making him the happiest dad in the world forever.
If you don't have the heart to make him the happiest dad in the world forever, you may as well tell him what happened. Odds are, the baby is his, but he deserves to know the state of his marriage.
I got my first done 6/5/14 I thought I was 10 weeks at the time but they said close to 9 weeks.
COMMUNITY LEADER
How early in the pregnancy was the ultrasound done? In other words, how many weeks GA?
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