Anxious Mess

[knjcmama]

My husband and I were trying all month long of September unprotected to have a baby. I made a mistake on September 24th and slept with an ex. The encounter was protected with a condom and withdrawal. The ex assured me that the condom worked, as in it did not break. He also did not ejaculate in me. I found out I was pregnant on September 30th, six days after the sex with the ex. I was due for my next period September 27th-30th. I have regular cycles every 29-32 days. I had my first ultrasound on October 21, 2021. Based on LMP I would have been 7 weeks 4 days with and estimated due date of 6/5/2022. The ultrasound measured me at 7 weeks 1 day giving me a due date of 6/8/2022. Since there is only a 3 day difference between my LMP and scan my doctors have stayed with the 6/5/2022 due date because there is not a difference of five days between my LMP and the ultrasound. I had another scan at 8 weeks measuring me at 8 weeks 3 days giving me a due date of 6/6/2021,
a one day difference between my LMP and the ultrasound. My 12 week scan was also consistent and measured me at 12 weeks giving a due date of 6/6/2022. Once again, my doctors have stuck with the due date of 6/5/2022 because it did not exceeded the difference or 7 days. I have been worried sick over this. I don’t feel the 24th encounter was possible for this pregnancy based on all the data, such as the scans and positive pregnancy test, but I can’t shake the anxious thoughts. The doctors I have talked to also do not feel the 24 was possible but I’m also having a hard time believing them! What is the margin of error with a seven week ultrasound? Can I stop worrying about the 24th encounter? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[ppowb]

Katie, I agree with the others. You were already pregnant when you were with Mr. Wrong. You should quit worrying.

[AnnieBrooke]

If you got a positive on a home pregnancy test only 6 days after sex with Mr. Wrong, you were already pregnant by the time you had sex with him. A pregnancy doesn't show up on a test that quickly. This says you were pregnant before the time you had the sex you are worried about.

All your facts and medical evidence point to the sex with your husband as producing the pregnancy. If you are consistently unable to let yourself believe this, it's a good idea to talk to a counselor or therapist. Women with a guilty conscience about their behavior, or deeper worries that the pregnancy has brought up, often let their anxiety over other issues transfer to worry about who is the father. The problem is, no matter how many times she gets her question answered, it's not satisfactory, because that's not really what she is worried about.

With all your facts and medical evidence, you probably do know deep down that Mr. Wrong is not the father. Talk to the therapist or counselor about more amorphous but anxiety-producing issues that the pregnancy has brought up. Look for anxiety in areas like integrity, survival or the relationship with your partner. As you address those, your obsessive worry about Mr. Wrong being the dad will fade.

[knjcmama]

Thank you I really appreciate it. I do think it’s my guilt and anxiety causing this. I suffer from terrible anxiety to begin with and I am not able to take my anxiety medication right now due to the pregnancy. I know this sounds so stupid but because I was embarrassed to ask the doctors about conception I turned to a psychic, yes crazy I know. The psychic said my husband was not the father and it spent me into a downward spiral. I did not feel this way when I first found out I was pregnant. I questioned it for a second and decided it wasn’t possible and moved on until guilt set in and I went looking for answers everywhere. Early ultrasounds can’t be off that much correct?

[AnnieBrooke]

Your pregnancy test would not have given you a positive if you had gotten pregnant only 6 days earlier.

[knjcmama]

Thank you. You have been really helpful and it was helpful to vent and talk this through as it’s been a really lonely experience. I am in therapy, but she hasn’t overly been too helpful yet. Hoping her and I connect better in the coming visits.

[AnnieBrooke]

If you and a therapist don't click, there is nothing wrong with saying so to the therapist and asking for a recommendation to see another.

[knjcmama]

You are right about that. Thank you again. This has been really difficult and I appreciate you being so kind and understanding.

[RockRose]

The most accurate ultrasounds are the earlier ones.  So, going with an accurate ultrasound of a due date of 6/8/2022,  your pregnancy most likely resulted from sex between Sept. 9 and Sept. 15.  

[knjcmama]

Yes, it was a home urine test.

[knjcmama]

Thank you.

[AnnieBrooke]

How did you find out on the 30th that you were pregnant, was it a home pregnancy test?

[knjcmama]

Yes, it was a home pregnancy test. One my ultrasound report the margin of error for a 7 week ultrasound is +\-4 days. Is that accurate? I have had a lot of anxiety over this and struggling to be confident in the data.

[knjcmama]

My period would have been due between September 27-30. I keep running through all scenarios. I feel like 4-6 days before a period would be way to late to ovulate. Yes, I know it can happen, but it would be rare and I also feel like the early ultrasound would reflect it ovulation was later. The due date would have been changed.

[knjcmama]

I’m sorry correction the 12 week ultrasound also gave a due date of 6/8/2022 not 6/6/2022z