Conception date accurate?

[annieamy]

I had unprotected sex with two men. My LMP was 4/20. I had sex with guy #1 the whole week of 5/2 and he ejaculated inside of me every single time. I had sex with guy #2 on 5/7 and he did not ejaculate or even come close. My doctor says that according to my LMP and my ultrasound, I conceived on 5/4, which would make it guy #1. I want to be 100% sure, any thoughts?

[AnnieBrooke]

OK, well, your doctor says you conceived on May 4, three days before the incident with guy #2.  And you had plenty of sperm in your system from the sex with guy #1 the whole week of May 2.  You say above that you "want to be 100% sure," the only way to do that is to do a DNA test.  Since there is only a 3-day difference between the date your doctor identifies that you ovulated and the sex on the 7th, all you can do without testing is hope these dates are absolutely spot on, but you can't be 100% sure without medical proof, a DNA test.  (I assume you know you can get one done before you have the baby?  They cost a bundle but if this is really troubling you it might be worth doing.)  In your shoes, during the pregnancy I would assume the doctor is correct and that you got pregnant three days before the sex with the second guy, but would confirm it with a DNA test after the baby comes.  The tests after the baby is born are about a tenth of the cost as the non-invasive prenatal tests, so most women wait to test.

[annieamy]

I asked my doctor about prenatal testing and she said there was no such thing. Do you know a website or somewhere I could get more information on them?

[AnnieBrooke]

Check the sites for the labs Ravgen or the DDC.  BTW, this is not an area where you should go with the cheapest one, you can find Internet cheapies that basically rip you off.  But the two above are legitimate.  Your doctor is behind the times.

[AnnieBrooke]

(Or, your doctor does not want women to do prenatal testing out of fear that the woman might get an abortion if the answer is the wrong dad.)

[annieamy]

Thank you for all of your help with this!

[AnnieBrooke]

Good luck with your decision, the price is high but women who have tested with Ravgen or the DDC report that the peace of mind is worth it.  

If you do go that route, test with both guys.  If a woman only tests one and the test comes up negative, sometimes that will prey on her mind as much as if she didn't test at all ("what if the test was wrong?!?!?!?").  There is no point in spending big money for a noninvasive prenatal DNA test and then feeling doubts.  You need one guy to get a positive and the other to get a negative.

[annieamy]

Another question...before all of this happened, I was keeping track of my periods and my fertile days via a phone app. According to the app the month of April I was fertile between the 6th and the 11th. But according to when I had my LMP, which was April 20th, I was fertile different days in May. This varies month to month, right? I know I should settle my mind about it, it's just in the back of my mind still. Everything tells me it's guy #1, I just need to settle my mind.

[AnnieBrooke]

Phone apps are based on averages, and generally not useful for precision. For example, no matter what your app said, if your period came on April 20, your prior ovulation would have been no later than April 6.  (The time gap between ovulation and the following period is 14 or 15 days, not shorter.)  Your best evidence for what happened is the ultrasound you had in your sixth week, not an app.

[AnnieBrooke]

So, from the first ultrasound they told you that you were 6 weeks 3 days?  

[annieamy]

Yes, they did. And it didn't change at my eleventh week ultrasound either.

[annieamy]

I just checked the exact date of the first ultrasound. It was June 4.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, annieamy, did you have an early ultrasound?  Like, sixth or seventh week?  If so, when was that (calendar date) and what due date did they give you then?

[annieamy]

Yes, I had one in my sixth week to confirm pregnancy and they have me a January 25th due date. I had another one during my eleventh week and they said the same thing, January 25th. I explained my situation to my doctor during the eleventh week ultrasound, letting her know that I wanted to be absolutely sure of the date of conception. She said according to my LMP and the confirmation with the ultrasound, conception looks to have been May 4th.

I've been reading a lot on pre *** also. I just want to be absolutely sure here :/

[annieamy]

Also, I don't know if it makes a difference, but guy #2 was drinking a lot of fluids and went to the bathroom at least 3 times before we had sex. And again, he did not finish...