Aa
six weeks pregnant...had sex three weeks ago
hi experts...theres a problem I faced. i had sex with my boyfriend like everyday without condom for like 3 weeks consecutive. i got worried and got to doctor with him, doctor said this embryo is six weeks old now and even heart beat has started. it shocked me and my boyfriend because we had been sexually active from last three weeks. the ultrasound the doctor did was doppler ultrasound which is known to be very precise. please advice had there been such cases before? it may end our relationship. the internet search says that the embryo start to have heartbeat in 4 weeks. please help
To be honest man up and take on your responsibility that will soon come. From all that u said and what Brooke is saying u seem to be 100 percent the father. No need to try and find fault to get your self out of this.
COMMUNITY LEADER
But again, what does she need to confess? If what you are suspecting (that she had gotten pregnant before the two of you became intimate) is true, she is not pregnant now and she has not been intimate with anyone else since meeting you, so why are you saying you require her to "confess"? That is a word used when someone has committed a crime. She might (and I still stress you don't have proof) have been intimate with someone else before she met you. That is a crime?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Here is a link to a site that can explain that the first two weeks of the time a doctor allots to pregnancy are actually before you get pregnant.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/prenatal-care/art-20045302
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/prenatal-care/art-20045302
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, scorpion, did the doctor say that "the embryo is six weeks old" or did he say the pregnancy was six weeks along? Doctors usually measure from the first day of your last period, not from the day of conception. Did you say to the doctor "Does that mean the baby was conceived 6 weeks ago?" and the doctor said yes? Or did he just use words like gestational age and a number of weeks "along?" What due date did the doctor give you?
18 Comments
I have always heard the heartbeat is 22 days after conception.
actually it got awekward so the doctor didnt clear it...he said the embryo is 6 weeks old and my boyfriend responded that we had been togethor from 3 weeks how old is it possible and doctor kinda changed the topic to make it not awekward...but well the damage had been done...and he said the embryo is 6 weeks old...not measuring from the last period
really??? the internet says 5 weeks and the way my doctor said it mafe my boyfriend very suspicious...like wheh he said u know sometimes embryo size gets bigger than normal
also one more thing i should add...i was breastfeeding at that time so i was not having periods..during breasfeed my periods happens sometimes after three months or so...we had not been using protection as there are least chances to get pregnant during breastfeed. so its not possible to count the days from the last period.
I guess the big question is really when your due date is, that will clarify what the doctor meant. Had you been with anyone prior to the three weeks when you had been with your now boyfriend?
to be honest. this is what i want to find about my girlfriend bcz she will never confess...so regarding the point of view in medical terms...what are the chances that the unborn is mine (sorry i was trying to ask the other way around)
Hey, scorpion, it always helps to just explain who you are and what you are asking.
All pregnancy counts (such as "the Internet says 5 weeks) are done in GA, which is counted from the first day of the last period. Especially this is true of when a medical person gives a count. When a doctor says "six weeks 'pregnant,'" he means 4 weeks since conception. And it is true that some babies grow faster and some grow slower than average. Doctors always count using a figure that begins two weeks before the conception date. On your searches on the Internet you must have found a definition of gestational age that shows this.
To be sure of what the doctor was saying, you need the estimated due date of the baby, from the doctor and not from your girlfriend.
Can you also do something, it might help, can you list things like this:
First date I had sex with my girlfriend: ______________________
Exact date we went to the doctor and had an ultrasound: _______________________
Exactly how many weeks and days "along" or "pregnant" the doctor said she was: ________________________
The reason I don't think the doctor was saying a count that comes from the date of conception is that doctors never do. Not unless someone asks very specifically, using the exact word "conception." Doctors think in GA and they talk in GA. This is why pregnancy (which takes 38 weeks from conception to full term) is counted as being 40 weeks long. They add two weeks at the front end so they can use the first day of the last period as a start point.
The heartbeat comes at 22 days after conception (some new research says 18 but most still says 22) so the fact there was a heartbeat doesn't show anything counter to the idea of you being dad (you'll note that 22 days plus the 14 days doctors add at the front of the count is 36 days, which is 5 weeks 1 day GA. The Internet reading you have done was obviously using a GA count.) If you are going to break up with her be sure you do your research really carefully.
I assume you were not with her before the time period in which you began to have sex? And for the possibility (not proven yet) that she is pregnant by someone else, you are thinking of leaving her? Why, if she was not cheating?
All pregnancy counts (such as "the Internet says 5 weeks) are done in GA, which is counted from the first day of the last period. Especially this is true of when a medical person gives a count. When a doctor says "six weeks 'pregnant,'" he means 4 weeks since conception. And it is true that some babies grow faster and some grow slower than average. Doctors always count using a figure that begins two weeks before the conception date. On your searches on the Internet you must have found a definition of gestational age that shows this.
To be sure of what the doctor was saying, you need the estimated due date of the baby, from the doctor and not from your girlfriend.
Can you also do something, it might help, can you list things like this:
First date I had sex with my girlfriend: ______________________
Exact date we went to the doctor and had an ultrasound: _______________________
Exactly how many weeks and days "along" or "pregnant" the doctor said she was: ________________________
The reason I don't think the doctor was saying a count that comes from the date of conception is that doctors never do. Not unless someone asks very specifically, using the exact word "conception." Doctors think in GA and they talk in GA. This is why pregnancy (which takes 38 weeks from conception to full term) is counted as being 40 weeks long. They add two weeks at the front end so they can use the first day of the last period as a start point.
The heartbeat comes at 22 days after conception (some new research says 18 but most still says 22) so the fact there was a heartbeat doesn't show anything counter to the idea of you being dad (you'll note that 22 days plus the 14 days doctors add at the front of the count is 36 days, which is 5 weeks 1 day GA. The Internet reading you have done was obviously using a GA count.) If you are going to break up with her be sure you do your research really carefully.
I assume you were not with her before the time period in which you began to have sex? And for the possibility (not proven yet) that she is pregnant by someone else, you are thinking of leaving her? Why, if she was not cheating?
alright madam...thanks a lot for understanding.let me me very specific
the day period ended was 22nd jan
the day we met and got intimate 12th feb and kept the act everyday till one week
we went to doctor on 5th march.
doctor did the dopler ultrasound which is considered very accurate and pointed the fetus is 6 weeks old and even the heartbeat has started. i responded with some reaction that we have met 3 weeks ago. the girlfriend was shocked and (it kinda seemed the doctor may have tried to cover it incase things get ugly....) and replied sometimes it happens, its not something to worry about and advised the pill which aborts. the girlfriend ate it without hesitation or without thinking and thats how abortion happened. anyhow...from few days i had been thinking about unborn and started some internet search which kinda gave me impression that something maybe fishy. this is something i cannot discuss with personal doctor or consultant as it may give a very bad impression of my girlfriend. i have not broken with her, and i really love her but if she would confess we can simply call it a day and move on and forgive her. i mean we need to open about things and thats how trust builds and we can try to further strengthen our relationship to make sure we are loyal to each other. i really appreciate your answers. thanks a lot madam. so to get a confession i may need some exact or more data from my end.
the day period ended was 22nd jan
the day we met and got intimate 12th feb and kept the act everyday till one week
we went to doctor on 5th march.
doctor did the dopler ultrasound which is considered very accurate and pointed the fetus is 6 weeks old and even the heartbeat has started. i responded with some reaction that we have met 3 weeks ago. the girlfriend was shocked and (it kinda seemed the doctor may have tried to cover it incase things get ugly....) and replied sometimes it happens, its not something to worry about and advised the pill which aborts. the girlfriend ate it without hesitation or without thinking and thats how abortion happened. anyhow...from few days i had been thinking about unborn and started some internet search which kinda gave me impression that something maybe fishy. this is something i cannot discuss with personal doctor or consultant as it may give a very bad impression of my girlfriend. i have not broken with her, and i really love her but if she would confess we can simply call it a day and move on and forgive her. i mean we need to open about things and thats how trust builds and we can try to further strengthen our relationship to make sure we are loyal to each other. i really appreciate your answers. thanks a lot madam. so to get a confession i may need some exact or more data from my end.
I suspect the doctor was using a GA count, not a measurement from the date of conception. All doctors use that kind of count. This would suggest she got pregnant right around the time the two of you were first intimate. Not enough evidence to prove your fears.
so...the fetus is 5 weeks...thats from the GA, not from the conception?
When a doctor says "You are 5 weeks pregnant," he means "You are 3 weeks since conception." I know it is confusing, but that is the way they do it. They count from the first day of the last period, or from the calculated first day of the last period if the woman's cycles are irregular. This is because back in great-grandmother's day, the last period was the only big obvious signal they had for beginning a count. Ovulation is hidden and unknown, but a period is obvious. So if a woman missed her period she would go to the doctor and the only way to put an estimate on the length of her pregnancy at that point would be for the doctor to ask when her last period had been. This kind of count has been used since that time despite the fact that ultrasounds now exist that can make things much more precise. All medical books, ultrasounds, doctors and nurses talking, documents talking about when the heart begins to beat, etc. if they say "x weeks" they mean GA. Only if they say SPECIFICALLY "the embryo's heart begins to beat on the 22nd day of life" do they mean counting from the beginning of the embryo. Otherwise they mean from two weeks before the embryo began.
Check the Mayo Clinic link below if you don't understand. But all the "weeks pregnant" figures are GA figures.
Check the Mayo Clinic link below if you don't understand. But all the "weeks pregnant" figures are GA figures.
madaam.....if the day of last period is 3 weeks ago. they still call it 2 weeks?
Especially if a woman's cycles are irregular (or if they are absent), the actual first day of the last period does not matter once there has been an ultrasound that saw and measured the embryo. They will calculate a first day of the pregnancy time period from the embryo's measurements by comparing to a large database of many embryos' size information.
You haven't answered my question below, regarding why you feel the need to demand she "confess."
You haven't answered my question below, regarding why you feel the need to demand she "confess."
the need to confess....if there is some kind of affair or one time mistake. so we can decide where to take the relation....so if doctor compares the embryo by size, when in dopler ultrasound, they will still use the GA data which is +2 weeks?
madam....in whole scenerio...what do you think or feel if there is somethibg fishy?
Scorpion, you said you and she had been having sex only three weeks (at the time you learned of the pregnancy). Your suspicion (which could have come from the way gestational age is counted by doctors), was that the baby was generated before that. I am still having trouble understanding you thinking that (if it happened this way) a baby conceived before you two were even an item is somehow from her being unfaithful, when (if it happened) it would have come from before the time when you and she were sleeping together. If you began your relationship around the time you first had sex, or only considered yourselves an exclusive couple starting when you slept together, she is not obliged to give you an accounting of what happened before that. People meet someone all the time and let their past relationships fall away. She is not allowed to then meet you and realize you are "the one?" If you had an old girlfriend with whom you sometimes had sex, and only broke it off for good once you met your new girlfriend, are you supposed to "confess" so she can decide whether to continue the relationship with you? What does the old girlfriend have to do with anything now?
As for the scenario, if you want my opinion, first of all, people misunderstand gestational age so often that it is the most common question on this forum. This is because it sounds like it means something else when the doctor says it. When a doctor says "You are five weeks pregnant," he is not saying "You got pregnant five weeks ago," but it sure sounds like that to people who aren't used to the medical way of counting out pregnancy. They come out of the appointment convinced that the doctor said this is when the baby began. In fact, it causes so many fights and breakups that if I could change any one thing ob-gyns do, it would be to change the way the gestational time period is counted from 40 weeks to 38, and to begin the count on the presumed day of conception and not on the computed first day of the last period.
The problem is, you can't guarantee you know what the doctor was saying. Your memory of the event is not enough to refute that the baby was from you. People hear "x weeks pregnant" and their mind says "x weeks since conception" so automatically that all conversation from that point is heard from that viewpoint. It seems ordinary to me that you might have mis-heard or misunderstood the doctor or mis-applied it to your situation.
The part about the story that is more striking to me is that you were willing to concur in her taking the abortion pill if you thought the baby was from you, and it surprises me that she was willing to take it, unless it is simply impossible for her to be pregnant now for social, family, or financial reasons. If you concurred in the decision to have an abortion, she probably did it because you were there saying it is the thing to do and would not have done it if you had said it was the wrong idea. Demanding she "confess" to something does not erase ambivalence about having an abortion. If what is troubling you is that you aborted your child, you have to work that out for yourself. Are you pressuring her for a confession and trying to develop scenarios in which the baby did not come from you because you would feel better if the child had not been from you? Don't put this on her.
In your shoes, I would try to let all of this go by. I think you need to decide how much you love her and if you want a long-term relationship with her, and if so, work to move forward on that, without brooding and suspicion.
As for the scenario, if you want my opinion, first of all, people misunderstand gestational age so often that it is the most common question on this forum. This is because it sounds like it means something else when the doctor says it. When a doctor says "You are five weeks pregnant," he is not saying "You got pregnant five weeks ago," but it sure sounds like that to people who aren't used to the medical way of counting out pregnancy. They come out of the appointment convinced that the doctor said this is when the baby began. In fact, it causes so many fights and breakups that if I could change any one thing ob-gyns do, it would be to change the way the gestational time period is counted from 40 weeks to 38, and to begin the count on the presumed day of conception and not on the computed first day of the last period.
The problem is, you can't guarantee you know what the doctor was saying. Your memory of the event is not enough to refute that the baby was from you. People hear "x weeks pregnant" and their mind says "x weeks since conception" so automatically that all conversation from that point is heard from that viewpoint. It seems ordinary to me that you might have mis-heard or misunderstood the doctor or mis-applied it to your situation.
The part about the story that is more striking to me is that you were willing to concur in her taking the abortion pill if you thought the baby was from you, and it surprises me that she was willing to take it, unless it is simply impossible for her to be pregnant now for social, family, or financial reasons. If you concurred in the decision to have an abortion, she probably did it because you were there saying it is the thing to do and would not have done it if you had said it was the wrong idea. Demanding she "confess" to something does not erase ambivalence about having an abortion. If what is troubling you is that you aborted your child, you have to work that out for yourself. Are you pressuring her for a confession and trying to develop scenarios in which the baby did not come from you because you would feel better if the child had not been from you? Don't put this on her.
In your shoes, I would try to let all of this go by. I think you need to decide how much you love her and if you want a long-term relationship with her, and if so, work to move forward on that, without brooding and suspicion.
well definetely...everyone has their own life before meeting with someone...if it would be like she was new in my life i wouldnt care....but this kinda thing happened when we had seperated for 50 days...we hadnt broke up or anything...its just we both had to live in diffrent cities for a while...anyhow...i think i should trust her on this one....thanks a lot madam...really appreciate your help on this
Walk forward together, don't look back, and time will tell if you two are suited to be with each other for the many years. If you are, don't twist yourself into a knot trying to see things from the past that can hardly even be deciphered at this point. You two might be destined to marry and be together for years or might not, but give it an honest try. You've been through trauma with this, move forward gently and respectfully together. Good luck.
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