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Need a professional answer about conception
I have a woman claiming to be pregnant with my child. She went to the doctors on Thursday Sept 11, 2014 and had an ultrasound that she showed me a picture of as well as a document of her doctors visit that says her LMP was July 28th, 2014 and her expected due date is 5/04/14.
My problem is that i had protected sex with her using a condom. We had sex July 25th (3 days before her lmp), August 20th, and August 28th. What is the likelihood that the baby was conceived by me. Because according to the document it says she is 4 weeks 5 days pregnant (as of 9-11-2014). Is it possible i'm the father of this child? She claims she wants to have an abortion, and i offered to help her because i feel its my responsibility. However, she will not let me go with her when she gets the procedure done, and she won't let me pay for it in a traceable way (check, credit card, atm card) she wants me to give her cash (400 bucks exactly). And because of this fact it makes me wonder along with the timeline doesn't really fit.
When would her conception date be, and how likely could it be that i am the father. I'd rather not pay for something that may not even be my responsibility and cash only is kind of a shady way to do it along with refusing to let me be apart of it.
My problem is that i had protected sex with her using a condom. We had sex July 25th (3 days before her lmp), August 20th, and August 28th. What is the likelihood that the baby was conceived by me. Because according to the document it says she is 4 weeks 5 days pregnant (as of 9-11-2014). Is it possible i'm the father of this child? She claims she wants to have an abortion, and i offered to help her because i feel its my responsibility. However, she will not let me go with her when she gets the procedure done, and she won't let me pay for it in a traceable way (check, credit card, atm card) she wants me to give her cash (400 bucks exactly). And because of this fact it makes me wonder along with the timeline doesn't really fit.
When would her conception date be, and how likely could it be that i am the father. I'd rather not pay for something that may not even be my responsibility and cash only is kind of a shady way to do it along with refusing to let me be apart of it.
DADAT47 never gave me his email so i could send him those pics, because i can't figure out how to send attachments through this forum, but the signed document "doctors visit page" had 4wk 5 days...and when i saw the document in person, ALL of the writing on the paper was fluid and light, but the 4wk5d note was like scribbled on like someone was using a bad pen and hard because you flipped the page you could seem almost am embroidered showing how much pressure was used to make the mark too....
Good for you!!! I'm curious..
.DADAT47 is my husband..he wants to know what did the doctors determine the babies age to be? The scan states 11w5days but what does "signed"paperwork say?
.DADAT47 is my husband..he wants to know what did the doctors determine the babies age to be? The scan states 11w5days but what does "signed"paperwork say?
Thank you to everyone with your advice. I met with her yesterday because she called me on someone elses number, and said she wanted to discuss this with me. So i told her fine if you agree to bring that documentation you sent me pictures of with you, i want to see the physical documentation not a photo copy but the orignals you were given and signed and stamped.
She said ok. So I went and met with her and yes the sonogram and doctors slip she gave me pictures of were from the same location on the same date SEPT 10, 2014...and not the 11th as she claimed. The sonogram had her name and the date and her medical ID at the top and still said 11w 5d...when i saw that i just laughed got up and walked away. Although she brought her oldest son who jumped on me actting like he was gonna get violent with me, and i just told him your mom is a liar and if you don't believe me look at the GA(LMP) on the sonogram and look at the one on the documentation....I'll believe the sonogram date over some scribbling on paper because a tech/doctor wouldn't risk his/her career falsifying data like that So unless you want assault charges filed against you i suggest you leave me alone and go put it out on her. And then i just walked away. So now i know she was lying and scamming me the whole time.
and AnnieBrooke i looked at those calculators too and saw the same exact result I had protected sex with her on july 25 (3 days before her lmp) and august 20th and 28th....only those dates and i know it was those dates because we had hotel rooms i paid for so i have the confirmation letter stating the date of check in, so theres no doubt for me about the dates.
But thank you to everyone for your advice it helped me make a logical decision and not go out and get scammed and i greatly appreciate it!!!!
She said ok. So I went and met with her and yes the sonogram and doctors slip she gave me pictures of were from the same location on the same date SEPT 10, 2014...and not the 11th as she claimed. The sonogram had her name and the date and her medical ID at the top and still said 11w 5d...when i saw that i just laughed got up and walked away. Although she brought her oldest son who jumped on me actting like he was gonna get violent with me, and i just told him your mom is a liar and if you don't believe me look at the GA(LMP) on the sonogram and look at the one on the documentation....I'll believe the sonogram date over some scribbling on paper because a tech/doctor wouldn't risk his/her career falsifying data like that So unless you want assault charges filed against you i suggest you leave me alone and go put it out on her. And then i just walked away. So now i know she was lying and scamming me the whole time.
and AnnieBrooke i looked at those calculators too and saw the same exact result I had protected sex with her on july 25 (3 days before her lmp) and august 20th and 28th....only those dates and i know it was those dates because we had hotel rooms i paid for so i have the confirmation letter stating the date of check in, so theres no doubt for me about the dates.
But thank you to everyone for your advice it helped me make a logical decision and not go out and get scammed and i greatly appreciate it!!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Thanks, Claire!
Curiousman, let's say (ignoring her aggressive approach that sounds like a shakedown), that she felt you would not believe her unless she produced a picture of an ultrasound, and dug one up on the Internet but that the rest of what she was saying is true.. (I realize that is a stretch, but what if.) You said she showed your "a document of her doctors visit that says her LMP was July 28th, 2014 and her expected due date is 5/04/14," and that she was 4 weeks 5 days at that time. You were wondering what would be the conception date if that information were true. The conception calculator I use gives the following for the due date of May 4
First day of last menstrual period: July 28
Probable date of ovulation: August 11
Possible dates of conception: August 7 to 15
Due date: May 4 (40 weeks)
Because the two of you had sex on the 27th of July and then on the 20th of August, and not in between, if she is pregnant it doesn't sound like your baby, your responsibility or your problem.
The only thing about this statement that might lessen its accuracy is that 4w5d is quite early for an ultrasound to see enough to be that precise in dating a pregnancy It could be that the 4w5d date just came from the first day of her last period (doctors will count this out on a calendar until the woman is far enough along for an ultrasound that actually sees the embryo, at 6 or 7 weeks). Again, in a (pretty far-fetched) scenario that she simply felt she needed to show you an ultrasound but that the rest is true, it is possible she is just going by the first day of her last period. But if she stands by the 4 weeks 5 days statement, you are not the dad as your August sex would be about 9 days too late to catch her ovulation.
As DADAT47 says, let us know if she has any subsequent ultrasounds (that have her name on them!) and shows them to you to 'prove' things. In the meantime, no money to her, and just play it graceful. People don't like it if they are lying and get challenged. Step back and let your lawyer handle the getting yelled at. .
.
Curiousman, let's say (ignoring her aggressive approach that sounds like a shakedown), that she felt you would not believe her unless she produced a picture of an ultrasound, and dug one up on the Internet but that the rest of what she was saying is true.. (I realize that is a stretch, but what if.) You said she showed your "a document of her doctors visit that says her LMP was July 28th, 2014 and her expected due date is 5/04/14," and that she was 4 weeks 5 days at that time. You were wondering what would be the conception date if that information were true. The conception calculator I use gives the following for the due date of May 4
First day of last menstrual period: July 28
Probable date of ovulation: August 11
Possible dates of conception: August 7 to 15
Due date: May 4 (40 weeks)
Because the two of you had sex on the 27th of July and then on the 20th of August, and not in between, if she is pregnant it doesn't sound like your baby, your responsibility or your problem.
The only thing about this statement that might lessen its accuracy is that 4w5d is quite early for an ultrasound to see enough to be that precise in dating a pregnancy It could be that the 4w5d date just came from the first day of her last period (doctors will count this out on a calendar until the woman is far enough along for an ultrasound that actually sees the embryo, at 6 or 7 weeks). Again, in a (pretty far-fetched) scenario that she simply felt she needed to show you an ultrasound but that the rest is true, it is possible she is just going by the first day of her last period. But if she stands by the 4 weeks 5 days statement, you are not the dad as your August sex would be about 9 days too late to catch her ovulation.
As DADAT47 says, let us know if she has any subsequent ultrasounds (that have her name on them!) and shows them to you to 'prove' things. In the meantime, no money to her, and just play it graceful. People don't like it if they are lying and get challenged. Step back and let your lawyer handle the getting yelled at. .
.
Hi, folks,
I removed a few off-topic comments from this discussion. Let's remember that the OP isn't asking for opinions about abortion (a decision he has no control over anyway). He's asking about paternity and conception dates, so let's keep the discussion focused on that. Thanks!
Claire
I removed a few off-topic comments from this discussion. Let's remember that the OP isn't asking for opinions about abortion (a decision he has no control over anyway). He's asking about paternity and conception dates, so let's keep the discussion focused on that. Thanks!
Claire
I agree with AnnieBrooke..see how fast she changes her tune when you say that to her.
COMMUNITY LEADER
If she has an ultrasound that says her GA (gestational age) is 11 weeks 5 days (GA is measured from the first day of the last menstrual period, not from conception, but it would indicate she is 9 weeks 5 days from conception) and she is telling you she is only in her fourth week, she is lying on the face of it. Don't bother to challenge her, just say, when she announces that she intends to take you to court, "My attorney's name is ______." If she says it in person, it would be a nice touch to hand her his business card. Say, "We had a good time but now I think it would be better if this is handled by the professionals."
That's not a nice game she is playing.
That's not a nice game she is playing.
Sad situation. I hope she's lying and there isn't a baby involved in this drama.
These dates are by textbook calculations: conception on 7/25 gives embryonic age on 9/11 of 8w+6d....8/20 gives age on 9/11 of 5w+1d...8/28 gives age on 9/11 of 4wk+0d. Now if the 'margin of error' in measuring is taken into consideration and your older post stating 4w+5d on 9/11 then 8/20 is pretty close. But considering your other post stating age of 11w+5d, my gut feeling tells me she is not truthful. Get proof.
Shes playing you. Ask what abortion clinic shes going too cuz $400 is a lot especially if shes still that early. My friend haf one when she was 6 weeks and it cost $98
If her LMP is indeed 7/28 and she has normal ovulation time then on 9/11 the gestational age would be 6Wk+3d. Definitely not 11w+5d. Huge difference. Over a month difference.
Every sono I've ever gotten has my name, the date it was done.,My doctors information or facility where it was done. Ive heard of women pulling stunts like this to get money from a guy. There are proceedures as low as $250 under 8 weeks. And the further along u are. The more expensive. Some even charge $100 for the pill. Her attitude doesn make sense. The sono definitely doesnt make sense. Id say let me be there to speak to a doctor personally or I wont pay for anything and should u decide to keep it. I will request a DNA as soon as the child is born.
The odd looking numbers and letters are just specifications on the machine. At 11+5 the fetus would absolutely not look like a dot on the image. You would be able to see the head, the torso, the arms, and legs. Even hands if the resolution is good. If the fetus is indeed 11+5, then conception was about July 5th.
Her name and the facility name should be on the ultrasound. Is it even on the glossy thin photo paper. She probably got it online
If her name isn't on the ultrasound and it says GA is 11w5d eh she is clearly lying to get money from you. And if you can even see a baby in the picture than she is lying because like many women stated you would not be able to see a baby on an ultrasound that early. My suggestion is to just stay away from her. She will make you feel like a jerk but she won't push it too far (unless you got yourself mixed up with a real crazy) because she knows she is lying to you. You seem like a pretty stand up guy and I'm glad you noticed all this so she wouldn't take advantage of you. But at this point everything points to her lying to you. Just change your number and don't contact her anymore. If for some reason she actually is pregnant (which I highly doubt) then insist on going to the Dr with her and get a DNA test as soon as the baby is born
Well i don't see her name on the Ultrasound but i do see information on it. and maybe DADAT47 can tell me what it means
on the left side of the picture it says
C8 4v
92Hz
4cm
2D
F4
Gn 34
232dB/C3
K/4/3
It also shows at the top right on the picture GA(LMP): 11w5d
(If that is what the GA of the baby is then her documentation saying 4wks 5 days is ********....thank you bsconcerned for making me take a closer look at that)
I don't see her name but i see the word BABY!! with an arrow pointed to a little dot.
And if the GA of the baby is 11weeks 5 days then i know for sure thats not mine because i didn't have sex with her 11 weeks ago about 7 for july 25th and about 3-2 weeks ago for august 20 and 28
on the left side of the picture it says
C8 4v
92Hz
4cm
2D
F4
Gn 34
232dB/C3
K/4/3
It also shows at the top right on the picture GA(LMP): 11w5d
(If that is what the GA of the baby is then her documentation saying 4wks 5 days is ********....thank you bsconcerned for making me take a closer look at that)
I don't see her name but i see the word BABY!! with an arrow pointed to a little dot.
And if the GA of the baby is 11weeks 5 days then i know for sure thats not mine because i didn't have sex with her 11 weeks ago about 7 for july 25th and about 3-2 weeks ago for august 20 and 28
Her ovulatory cycle may be so irregular. If that is the case, she CANNOT go by her LMP. Due date must be established by ultrasound at about 8-10 weeks gestational age for accurate dating. Once that is done, you can work backwards to estimate date of conception. Btw, I'm a high risk OB ultrasound tech.
Also for your information, ultrasounds are dated and would have her name at least all of mine do and everyone I have seen, so if this ultrasound photo does not have that information it is most likely fake, or found on the Internet. And I have never heard of someone getting an ultrasound that early in pregnancy, no reason for it because there is nothing more than a sac with nothing in it, or even able to hear a heartbeat yet. If she decides not to go through with the abortion, I don't think you should get too involved in the pregnancy, it's clear the facts don't add up, she may weasel you into paying for medical costs, baby stuff etc not to mention getting your hopes up when there is a very good chance this baby is not yours. If the baby does turn out to be yours, you will have plenty of time to pay for it. Every woman should have support in their pregnancy, but she made her bed and well.... you already did the rest lol
I'm a nurse (not a prenatal nurse) and I'm pregnant for the 5th time. So here is my opinion, take it as professional or personal. You did the research so you know the dates don't match up to what she's saying. If she ovulated late, which is entirely possible, it would be too early to tell by ultrasound. That's already been said too. So here's my personal opinion, as a woman, she's playing you. I believe it's a total threat that if you don't pay her She will have the baby a and see you in court. If you're questioning her honesty why have you not questioned the legitimacy of that statement? If you meet up at the bar and have sex I'm pretty sure you're not the only one she's doing that with (I'm assuming you're thinking the same thing), not that I'm judging that behavior but she may be feeding the same line to the other 3 guys she slept with in August. I'm putting aside my personal views on abortion because I know from my husband's experience (before we met) that even if you wanted her to have the baby you have no say at this point. But I don't think that's your issue. So back on track. If she's legitimate, she would have no problem proving more information for you to pay several hundred dollars. If she really thinks you're the only possible father and she really wants to have an abortion she would comply with your simple requests.
Well i have no intention on paying cash, because i actually talked to a lawyer and the police on wed and they said that any money i give to her would be considered a "gift" regardless on if she does the procedure or not. So i couldn't go after her for "extortion or fraud" if she didn't do it. But the facts as far as i know are this:
Dates we had sex: July 25th, August 20th, August 28
Her documentation that was done on thursday says 4wks and 5 days pregnant along with a pic of the ultrasound (for all i know she could've gotten the ultra sound pic off the net and printed it off)........[i wish i could upload those photos here]
her LMP according to the documentation: July 28, 2014
her due date according to the documentation: May 4, 2015
and if she is 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant as of thursday 9-11-14....that falls no where near when we had sex the closest date would be august 20th and thats only 3 weeks and 1 day from the day of her documentation.
BSCONCERNED: I like to think i'm a stand up guy, when she told me i she was gonna have the baby because i refused to give her cash for it, i told her straight out then atleast let me know your doctors appointments and what not so i can atleast be there for it. I mean i work for the government was brought up in a military family, i was brought up to take responsibility, but yet.....this seems so shady to me....theres not enough LEGIT evidence to make me think its mine.....i'm a computer geek i work in IT, i don't take people for their word, i take FACTS
mommytobe_dec2014_: Abortion or not i don't care i just want to make sure i'm doing the right thing, i have no quarrels with abortion, but at the same time if she decides to have it and i'm the father after all i have no problem accepting that responsibility I just want to be apart of the cycle. i don't want to pay for something thats not my fault. the least she could do is keep me involved in the pregnancy. But if i don't pay her 400 bucks cash she gonna have the baby and leave me out completely till it arrives. And i'd rather be safe then sorry and know that the baby could possibly be mine and rather then being there for someone and paynig for something thats not my fault....I'm not looking to go on maury for a paternity test lol
Dates we had sex: July 25th, August 20th, August 28
Her documentation that was done on thursday says 4wks and 5 days pregnant along with a pic of the ultrasound (for all i know she could've gotten the ultra sound pic off the net and printed it off)........[i wish i could upload those photos here]
her LMP according to the documentation: July 28, 2014
her due date according to the documentation: May 4, 2015
and if she is 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant as of thursday 9-11-14....that falls no where near when we had sex the closest date would be august 20th and thats only 3 weeks and 1 day from the day of her documentation.
BSCONCERNED: I like to think i'm a stand up guy, when she told me i she was gonna have the baby because i refused to give her cash for it, i told her straight out then atleast let me know your doctors appointments and what not so i can atleast be there for it. I mean i work for the government was brought up in a military family, i was brought up to take responsibility, but yet.....this seems so shady to me....theres not enough LEGIT evidence to make me think its mine.....i'm a computer geek i work in IT, i don't take people for their word, i take FACTS
mommytobe_dec2014_: Abortion or not i don't care i just want to make sure i'm doing the right thing, i have no quarrels with abortion, but at the same time if she decides to have it and i'm the father after all i have no problem accepting that responsibility I just want to be apart of the cycle. i don't want to pay for something thats not my fault. the least she could do is keep me involved in the pregnancy. But if i don't pay her 400 bucks cash she gonna have the baby and leave me out completely till it arrives. And i'd rather be safe then sorry and know that the baby could possibly be mine and rather then being there for someone and paynig for something thats not my fault....I'm not looking to go on maury for a paternity test lol
At 4wks 5days a gestational sac is barely detectable with transvaginal ultrasound. Definitely no embryo or heartbeat yet. She would need to be followed with serum hCG levels and follow up ultrasound in about 3 weeks. In 3 weeks, a fetal pole and cardiac activity should be seen and the fetus should be big enough to measure but most accurate time to get a due date is 8-12 weeks gestational age.
Im confused because you have to be further along to get a positive on a hpt i was at least 6 weeks and on a ultrasound you cant really see anything i guess my question would be how did she for sure she knew she was pregnant to even see a doc? Most docs make you wait a couple more weeks before an appointment so who got her in so quick and why? Just sounds weird i would find a way to do to the doc with her before i gave her money and whats the big deal about a paper trail that don't make sense i wouldn't do abortion there's always adoption
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