My DNA story!!

[Nat2689]

So I been reading everybody's posts trying to relate. But I feel like I need advice I been keeping this inside of me and am so stressed. Before I had my baby I been with my boyfriend now my partner for 2 years. I had my period on September 19th 2014 and in October 11th of 2014 I had sex with a friend that I was talking to he used a condom. I got my period again on October 19th for 4 days. My boyfriend found out that I was talking to someone else but I convinced him that he was just a friend. He asked me if we had sex I told him "NO" I didn't want to lose him for a stupid mistake .
He believed me and on November 2nd all throughout November me and my boyfriend had sex without protection. I knew I would be pregnant and I was. My due date was for July 26th 2015 from my LMP of October 19. Well I had a good pregnancy I never worried about the other guy because I got my period on October. Well my happiness was soon over my baby came early on July 16th. I freaked out because i was 38 weeks and 4 days but it's really 36 weeks from conception. Right away I thought that maybe I got pregnant on October from the other guy. Well when I deliver my baby he was so white and nothing like my boyfriend who is darker and am not white either we are hispanic. The other guy is too but he is very white he even has blue eyes. Well my baby came with complications his oxygen level was very low and had to stay an extra day at the hospital. And we had to take him home with oxygen. He was with oxygen for at least 2 weeks Doctors didn't know why. At first they thought he could be younger than what they thought and he even got am ultrasound of his heart but every thing was normal. Well with everything that was happening I got in depression I lost so much weight I wasn't eating and I wasn't making enough milk to breastfeed my baby. I just kept thinking that my baby was from my friend. So I got in contact with him told him what was going on I send him some photos of the baby he said he didn't see any resemblance I ask him if maybe the condom broke he said he didn't think so. So as time went by I ask him if he could do a private DNA test with the baby to make sure. He said yes that he didn't think it was his but so I could have my piece of mind. My boyfriend didn't know all this was going on he will leave me. So I got the DDC DNA test from Walgreens. The test has three envelopes with swabs. One for the mother, child and alleged father. I swab my baby put the sample in the envelope and then I swab myself and put it in my envelope. So I got to see my friend and he swab his cheek got his sample and put it in the envelope. I personally send everything to DDC it took 7 days to get there and two more days for the results. Results were 0% paternity he was excluded.  I know that's what I wanted but I still get nervous what if the results are wrong what if he is the dad. My baby is 6 months now and I still don't think he looks like my boyfriend. I keep comparing photos and am driving myself crazy. I have read bad reviews of DDC of wrong results. So I asked my friend if he could do another test he said no that I need to let it go. Well I did a maternity test with Identigene who is the competition of DDC just to see if the baby's and my DNA profile match the ones on DDC and they do they are exactly the same. I wish I could do a DNA test with my boyfriend but if I tell him the truth he will Leave me and he is so good we bought a house all this things we are planning. Can someone give me any advise maybe it's just my guilty conscience that doesn't let me move on. I know it's long thanks!!

[PreguntonaPensativa]

Well just in my opinion you did say you are hispanic. Hispanic people are a mix of so many people that we cant base paternity on skin tone.
My mom is super dark.
My dad is white.
I am pinkish beige or light beige
One of my brothers is yellow white, the other is light brown, and the other is super dark brown. Me and my brothers are related by both mother and father.
Plus you had a period after sex with the other guy.

[AnnieBrooke]

Take care of yourself, that is so important especially now because your life is not your own any more, it is devoted to raising another human being well.  Definitely a counselor, and some exercise, and good vitamins too.  Good luck!

[Nat2689]

Thank you AnnieBrooke and 201603!!
I know I need help my doctor did recomend when I had found out I had post-partum depression to get a therapist. I think I will start to look for one. I never in my life thought that I would go through a situation like this so I do need someone to talk to when am feeling anxious!! And I know that those results are correct I need to go on with my life. Thanks again both of you!!

[201603]

Hi girl I myself had a test with ddc... Well a prenatal test and got the exclusion I had hoped for although it makes sense it's the doubt that gets to us... U did a post birth test so those are way more accurate... Ddc is the company used by many courts so I'd trust the results...

[AnnieBrooke]

The other guy is right, you need to move on.  You had a period after sex with him, and you got a DNA test that excluded him.  If you let yourself think about it logically, you probably know he is not the dad.  You're just dancing in a fear spiral instead, for whatever reason.

Let's work this out. You behaved contrary to your values and had sex when you were in a relationship with someone else, and you lied about it.  This is bothering you a whole lot.  Not the results of the DNA test.  So, work on the thing that is really the problem, because I promise you that even if the guy took the next test and the next, you still wouldn't be convinced because that was not really the problem in the first place.

So stop looking on the Internet for stories proving the test might have been wrong, or making up stories in yorur head to convince yourself you didn't really have a period after the sex with the guy.  And stop looking foolish by begging the guy to test again

What you should do is talk to a counselor or therapist to figure out what your psyche might be thinking it will accomplish to feel guilty all the time.  Tell your boyfriend you have post-partum depression, and go see a therapist, and dump the situation on the therapist's couch.  Yes, you did something wrong, maybe you aren't used to doing something wrong and having to suck it up with no one to say it is OK.  But if you love your boyfriend and intend to be with him until this child is an adult, the shame is something you will have to carry with you without dumping it on him.  

If you are the kind of person who believes in punishment and is compelled to atone, atone by making him the happiest daddy in the world, forever.  No more talking to anyone else, forever, be happy to be with him and your baby and tell him how much you appreciate him.  As long as he is this child's dad, he should have no reason to regret being with you. That is a trade a lot of guys would take.