I want to know if he is the father

[losinmymind]

My bf cheated on me on sept 29th the chick will b 16 weeks pregnant on Monday. Her due date is June 22nd my bf says he wore a condom she said he ddnt how likely is he the father?

[AnnieBrooke]

How accurate is her due date?  Was it given to her by an ultrasound in her 6th or 7th week?  

[losinmymind]

She was 12 goin on 13 weeks when she tld me. Its not like we are friends so the information she shared was more to hurt me than to inform me. She claims she wants to b wit him and is goin to fight for her family. She even seems to obsessed with winning him over.

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, so what.  Her obsession, and her trying to hurt you, it is not going to create love in your guy.  (If your guy chooses to leave you for her, it is not on her, but on him.)

My guess is that he will not know the truth of the paternity question until the day the DNA test results come in, because it does not sound like she is the kind of person who would sit down calmly and give him copies of all the ultrasounds and tests and work out how she came to this conclusion and show him the logic.  He should be clear with her in any communications that he absolutely expects to do a DNA test, in person at a lab certified by the family courts for doing DNA tests to determine paternity.  (No Walgreen's tests.  Everything witnessed.  The samples handled only by neutral lab employees.  In other words, everything handled with the proper level of security.)

If he has no interest to be with her, it really doesn't matter what she says, like if she says she is "goin to fight for her family."  Her baby is her family, but he (your boyfriend) is not her family.  At most, he is her baby's sperm donor.  If the future should prove that he is indeed the baby's donor, he will owe child support.  And as a man, if the baby is his, he should also get to know his child and be involved with the child.  But none of that creates a "family" for her to fight for that includes him in any emotional way relating to her.  She is just kidding herself if she thinks she can fight her way into making one.  

I wouldn't pick up the bait -- she is trying to get you to leave him in hopes of convincing him to be with her.  Expect that in about 30 weeks you two will know if he has a child, and leave it at that.  Don't go for drama, disengage from it.  Deal with it when it is time for the DNA test.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Let me understand - is Your issue whether or not She is pregnant?

or is Your issue that He cheated??  

Seems to me it ought to be both issues.  He has an obligation to the Baby should there be one - if not, He STILL has a lot of repair to do - after all, Baby or no, condom or no - He cheated and that needs to be addressed also.

GoodLuck

[AnnieBrooke]

I might add, I read another post of yours and wonder why you are sticking with this guy.  But if you leave him, be clear you are not doing it because this girl manipulated you, you should leave him because he is a serial cheater.

You say that you and he have been contemplating having a baby together, but a guy who has cheated more than once is a terrible bet for a lifelong partner.  You don't have any business getting pregnant until you are sure he will never cheat again.  I don't know how you will be sure of that, however, if he has cheated more than once.

[losinmymind]

They are both my issue lol he has told her his only obligation is to the baby n he plans to b there (if its his). But I jus need to easy my mind. I think about it constantly.

[AnnieBrooke]

You think about the fact that he is a cheater constantly?  That is a good thing, you need to roll it over in your mind and figure out why you are putting up with being dissed in this way more than once.  But if you think about whether the baby is his or not constantly, you are misdirecting your anger.  You should be mad at him for cheating whether or not it produced a baby.  Don't let the paternity issue sidetrack you.  You have to decide what it is about this relationship that causes you take the insult of him cheating and say it is OK.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I TOTALLY agree with AnnieBrooke that Your anger is "misdirected" and so is Your "uneasiness".

As I said before - Baby or no, He cheated !!  and that is NOT okay !!  Apparently He has cheated before so there is a 'history' here(?)

What You See Is What You Get - This I Know Is True

I was married for 15 years to a serial cheater - Over the years He cheated numerous times which included 'friends' of mine(ours) and BOTH my Brothers' Wives!!  At present He has been in His second marriage for 30 years and He cheats on Her as well!!  My opinion - the first cheat is probably the hardest for the cheater to pull off - the lies and the cheats become easier with 'practice' - They just get better and better at it.

A man who cheats has no Character, Integrity, Morals, Standards etc, etc.