whos the father

[mommy4488]

I am pregnant for the first time. I had a one time thing 6 weeks before getting with my bf, and when we first had sex. I have been obsessing about who the father could be. I was hoping that someone could give me a little perspective. I think I am being paranoid but please tell me what you think.

My last two periods were : I usually have irregular periods.
July 17
Aug. 13

I had sex with man A on July 17. At first we didn’t use a condom but then ended up using it till the end. I got my period later that day. It must have been passed 12am when we had sex and i must have got my period by 1pm.  

Had unprotected sex with my bf on August 22/23 (had sex 3 times). We didn’t use protection

My next period was suppose to be around September 9-15. Never got it. Then October still no period. I went to get a free pregnancy test and it was positive.


I'm hoping it is my bf's baby but is there anyway at all that Man A could be the father? I've gone over it a million times but please tell me what you think. I love my bf and i’ve been completely honest and i’ve never cheated nor would i cheat on him. But this one time of fooling around totally taught me a lesson

[AnnieBrooke]

I think that if either the July or the August periods were odd, spotty or peculiarly short, you would have noticed.  But the main thing is, you were not ovulating the day your period came in July.  No eggie, no preggie.  Congrats to you and your boyfriend, and happy holidays to you.  :)

[mommy4488]

Yea, i am concerned that possibly the bleeding on August 13 was not a "real period". I just can't really remember the length of days. I guess at the time i was just trying to pass the days to get over it.

Yea according to website online saying that by the time i was ovulating was the end of july, passing the 3-5 days that the sperm can live. August when my bf and i had sex is the week i was ovulating.  

I didn't start seeing a change of my waistline till a week ago. I had my 18 week ultrasound on monday, but all they told me was the gender. IT'S A BOY! i did tell my doctor about the encounter in July and she just told me we wont know for sure till the baby's born.

The way i understand it is--July 17 (LMP) had sex that day. There was about 11 days for my ovulation to come. August 13 (LMP) had sex on my ovulation week. Got pregnant.

Thank You AnnieBrooke!! Happy holidays...

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, mommy4488 --

Well, the easy answer is that if you had a period on July 17 followed by a period on August 13, you were not pregnant until later in August.  (I know that on the Internet, someone is always there to tell you that her aunt had periods for six months when pregnant, but please note that the person saying so is never the person who really had this happen.  There are other reasons for bleeding in pregnancy.)

I assume you're concerned that possibly the bleeding on August 13 was not a real period?  OK, then let's talk about the sex in July.  You had sex that was protected at the point where he ejaculated.  You then got your period that day.  It was a normal-length period.  You do remember that periods come two weeks *after* ovulation and eggs only last 24-36 hours, don't you?  In other words, a period does not come a few hours after ovulation?  The guy in July couldn't have gotten you pregnant without an egg coming from you, even if sperm had come from him (which it sounds like it didn't).  You didn't have an egg waiting, when you had sex in July.

You went to get tested in October -- if you were pregnant from July, you would have been pretty clear from your changing waistline that you were pregnant.  If August, possibly you would have been to the point where you were having to unbutton your pants when riding in the car, that kind of thing, but you would not have a little tummy yet.  (This varies -- women who have had kids before do look more pregnant earlier.)

If you have not had an ultrasound yet, I'd see about getting one.  Date the pregnancy as beginning August 13 (doctors always count from the first day of your last period) and that means you are 18 weeks 3 days as of today, that's a perfectly appropriate time for a scan.  Tell the doctor that you had an encounter in July and then two periods, but that you have the ghost of a concern that perhaps the pregnancy is from mid July.  This will not be the first time a doctor has been called on to allay someone's concerns about timing and who's the daddy.  He should be able to convince you that there is no chance.  :)

Try not to worry, two periods is a pretty clear signal that you did not get pregnant from the July guy.  In the meantime, take your prenatals (and a little extra folic acid) and enjoy the holidays.  You're going to be a mommy!  :)