20 year old son depressed

[cinditj]

I little over 2 years ago my 18 year old son was a bright, driven athletic funny sociable boy.  When he came back after his 1st semester in college things changed.  He got into a fight when home on Christmas break and broke a boys jaw in 2 places.  That still has been settled in court but it looks like he'll get probation.  He left school and  doesn't want any kind of schooling.  He has had 4 or 5 jobs in the 2 years since he's been home  but always quits them after a month or two.  He sleeps all day and is up all night.  He literally sleeps 16 hours a day.  He got an underage alcohol possession charge and had to complete 90 hours of community service.  He has only done 16 hours and received a summons to report to court on Dec 21st.  I told him a month ago he has to go and he just wouldn't get up.  He was scheduled to do his community service at the department of public works which is litterally 1 block from my house.  On this morning has he gotten up because the letter came yesterday stating that a number of things could happen to him if he doesn't complete his obligation and one is incarceration.  He has become verbally abusive to me and to his sisters, if anyone questons him about what he isn't doing he blows up.  He's out all hours of the night and when I get up for work at 5am he's just going to sleeps.  When I come home at 6pm he's still sleeping.  I can't stand this anymore.   Believe me I have thought of kicking him out numerous times.  Can you tell me if he's clinically depressed?   He goes out with his friends on the weekends.  He visits his friends at ivy league schools and doesn't even feel embarrased that he's a bum

Please advise

Cindy

[cinditj]

I have mentioned to him many times that he needs a therapist but he refuses to go. How can you make a 20 year old young man get psychological help if he refuses?  He tells me I'm crazy because I bother him.  He has 3 sisters that are college graduates and 2 with post graduate degrees.  But he refuses to go to even a county college or trade school.  I never ever compared him with his sisters but I know he does.  How can you make an adult seek treatment?  

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Your son sounds like he is not only depressed, but lost and confused and very stuck in his life. The very best thing for him is to see a counselor since he probably won't talk about what is really bothering him to his family.  He also may have something more serious, but the fact that he has friends sounds encouraging, and of course, drugs are also a possibiltiy, and that means more trouble.  so get him to a therapist if you can.