End It All

[Dan Goddard]

I am a minister and have been preaching for over 30 years.  For the past few years, I have had a loss of energy and intertest, I do not enjoy myself or my work, I have difficulty in concentrating, I have feelings of sadness, hopelessness and anxiety, I have feelings of worthlesness and recurring thoughts about death and suicide. I am an educated person with an A.B. in Bible and History; a M.A. in Psychology and a Ph.D,. in Philosophy. I presently preach for a congregation over 300 in membership.  (The preacher who is suppose to be the strongest and most look up to person, listens to problems of his membership everyday.)  This preacher can't deal with his own problems.  Doctors, I have been to several.  Here is a pill, there is a pill, everywhere a pill  but the conditions remains the same.  Several times I have put the gun to my head but I did not have the courage to pull the trigger.  I know I shall not last much longer.  Even as I write this e-mail I am looking at a 357 across the way.  To have the courage to go over and pick it up.  Peace, Peace, Peace is what I long for.  This will most likely be my last conservation about the matter. I cry out for help but cries that go unanswered. Thanks for listening to a voice crying out for help, your friend Dan

[Kraftster]

God Bless You Dan...

You know that there is nothing that can happen to you that you and God "together" can't handle. It's an old saying..but it is oh so true....

Take care of yourself
:)
Michelle

[D ave Replogle]

This is Dave Replogle and i have the same deal as u and i have three girls to raise 8 5 and 4 so i dont pull the trigger bacause i dont want them not to grow up with out a dad like i did because it SUCKS and u say u are o preacher have u asked your father for help or go to oaklawn center they have helped me alot u are gonna die someday anyway so why kill yourself just think of happy times u had or are having with someone that seems troo help me whem i have a bad day hang in there Dave

[wildcat]

Thank you for your kind words as well. And for keeping this forum
alive and running. I am sure it has helped hundreds or even thousands of people around the world.

wildcat

[MED HELP INTERNATIONAL]

Eloquently said, Wildcat!!!  Thanks for the words of wisdom!

Med Help International

[MED HELP INTERNATIONAL]

UPDATE FOR ALL CONCERNED ABOUT DAN....

We thank everyone here for your compassionate, caring comments and offers of help!

We are very glad to report that Dan is alive and is now getting the help for which he was crying out.

Again, we thank all of you for your support and hope that you'll keep Dan in your thoughts and prayers.

Cindy Thompson
MED HELP INTERNATIONAL

[Tachycardia]

Dan, i know how u feel, i've felt like it since i can remember and the one bit of advice i can give is never give up coz something will always come along, and theres always something or someone to live 4. the trick is not to try and fight your problems but to accept things the way they are and live with them, cos if u fight your problems, ur fighting yourself. i really recommend a councellor, try and find one that has been through problems similar to yours, and perhaps a good anti-depressant. positive thought is also a way through, for example now your concentrating on the negative aspects of your life so basically nothing looks good. try and identify your problems also
perhaps the stress of your job isnt helping.

remember suicide maybe the end for you, but what about the people u leave behind. they will have to live without u, and from what i read u seem like a very decent, and popular person.
take good care of your self, and talk to someone.
peace

[Doggies4]

Oh, please, do not give up.  I have been exactly where you are.  A breath away from suicide.  I wish I could say that mine is totally gone forever, but for the most part it is.  Yes.  I do take an antidepressant, and I even take an antipsychotic for the extreme anxiety that I feel.   I have had years of therapy, too.  I don't understand why some of us suffer like that,  but one thing I do know; it doesn't last forever.  I know when I am feeling it, it feels like it will be there forever and it feels too strong to bear.  I can't tell you the suffering and agony I have been through, especially with the anxiety.  BUT, for the last two years I have been on top of the world, at peace and calm and content.  I can't believe when it ends that life feels so good.

You have the added burden of hearing others during that period and it probably exacerbates the problem.

The agony will go away,  if you will only seek help and hang in there.  Don't listen to some well-meaning Christians who think it is lack of faith or sin or weakness.  Sometimes we have a chemical mix-up or whatever that makes it so.  Often, part of it is unsolved issues in childhood.  I know that sounds like a lot of hocus pocus but it is really true.  Believe me, I have been through the wringer with that.  I had much to unlearn from my harsh and emotional abusive childhood.  

Anyway, please hang in there.  If you want to email me my address is ***@****.  Please let us know how you are doing.

[wildcat]

I just want to say, I thank God for answering our prayers and keeping Dan safe from self destruction. I am so thankful that Dan is getting the help he needs.

If there is anyone else out there needing help, feel free to ask. This forum proves people do respond if you ask. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help at one time or another during our lifetimes.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Dan, I hope you get this message..There is hope. You are having a depression, obviously, that is coloring everything you think and do. In addition to pills, as you know, there are good therapists who can help you out of this. ..Please try again...in fact, if you email me again through the webmaster, with your email and phone number, I will help you find the therapist who can help you. Now is not the time to give up.

[wildcat]

Dan,

I say don't do it. I felt like you feel just two weeks ago and now I feel normal again. There are people out there who truely care about you, but most people don't know how to share caring
especially when someone is close to suicide. It scares them that is they say the wrong thing they will blame themselves if it happens. Only you can make that choice. I know what total emotional and spiritual pain feels like. You feel the Lord has abandoned you but he has not. That is why you found this forum. He guided you to it to hear what you need to hear.

You need to hear me say I care about you. Even though I don't know you I do care about you. You have been telling people for so long about yours and God's love but no-one realizes you need to hear it too. People often find it hard to share feeling, especially to those they look at as invincible. Everyone has some good in them and just enough strength to get them through the wworst of the worst. This is probably one of your main challanges in life God is giving you a test in faith. I hope you can pass the test. It is depression that is making you feel this way and depression it can be treated be a doctor. You may need anti-depressants to get you through the immediate crisis and then counseling to work from there.

Don't give up. Us humans were born with the natural instinct of survival. You don't really want to die or you would not be asking for help. You just want the severe emotional pain to go away or at least become more bearable. I'll talk to you everyday if you wish. I will take the time for you even though I am across the world we can still give each other emotional and spiritual support. I will say prayers for you. You may want to start with the serenity prayer. It says God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the ability to know the difference.

Please write back and tell me more about what's heppening and what you are doing to help yourself.

[CarolB]

Hi Dan

I am a christian and run a prayer group and internet friendship group

Please mail me

There is plenty of support for you in our group

Beleive me

Carol
in Netherlands

Your prayer partner and friend
***@****

this is an open invitation for anyone needing prayer and christian friendship regardless of your religion or background or church

[bailey29]

I know what you are going through, at least with the anxiety.  I am a born again christian and have never thought of suicide as an option.  Please I beg of you to go to a christian counsler or maybe step down as a pastor.  It doesn't matter how educated you are, you still can suffer from this anxiety day in and day out.  I don't know who you are but I am sending out strong prayers for you right now.  Life has many struggles and I know we all want peace, but suicide is not the answer.  I will pray for you.