Help getting happy again

[Trish2720]

I'm in my 50's, married, and have a wonderful son who's a symphony pecussionist.  I also come from a very abusive home...parents and my 3 brothers.   When I was younger my peers and dates use to tell me I was the only normal one in the house.  The problem is I can't seem to stop running the events of the past through my head.  It's been worse since the middle brother died in May of this year.  He died in a nursing home at 53 years old.  I took good care of him because no one else ever did.  I really tried to give him hope and happiness. But I got sick with PVC's and he was feeling guilty.  I couldn't drive out as often because he was 45-50 minutes away.  I'm so angry at my family for not helping and for hurting him so badly.  I need to get out of this place in my thinking.  I want to be happy again but how do you stop the dreams and thoughts you have just walking around.  I keep replaying things like I'm looking for answers that I can't find.   Is this normal??  How do you turn it off???

[windowtomymind]

Hi Trish, I am a 38 year old who came from an abusive family.  I keep limited contact with them because of "issues".  The past came back to haunt me as well...over and over.

Listen to the Dr.  Couseling is a wonderful way of dropping some un-needed baggage.  I would also suggest an unorthodox ritual that a friend of mine suggested that helped me with my family and my divorce:  take material items that represent the people and things that cannot make your mind rest and get rid of them.  You could burn them, throw them away, donate them or give them away.  These things could be clothing photos, letters, etc...Say how you feel about that person-let it all pour out-cry, scream, swear, etc.  Then get rid of the item-take it immediately out of the house-forever.  I found it to be very cleansing (keeps the house tidy, too) and psychologically its a new beginning.  

Hope this helps, hang in there, girl!
"Reminice about the past, live in the present and plan for the future".

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You are stuck in this reoccurance because the underlying issues with your family have not been resolved in your mind, you haven't found a resting spot.  You may not be able to get there by yourself but you certainly could with a good psychotherapist helping you talk this through. I would not suggest medications, just talk and resolution.