You tell me, Im at a loss

[Drewage]

Where to start.. 32 male with no kids.I spent the majority of my 20's depressed. I counted 7 years of a time in my life where I was so depressed I could not function in a social setting and eventually avoided them all together. What I was experiencing I could never put my finger on but I knew (as well as others) that there was something missing. I read about awareness, meditation, buddism, christianity, and often spent a lot of time on the local library computer in the search prompt. I gave up and finally wrote a letter to a doctor who I met and he immediatly put me on zoloft. My life switched 180 deg. I attended college and could finally express my self and my thoughts to people clearly and without doubt. I finally felt alive just like everyone else. At age 30 I was living contently and making a career out of a good job. I entered my first ever relationship with a woman who had 3 kids. I had absolutely no experience with any kind of intimate relationship but I had always dreamed of one. This woman took away all my loneliness and connected with me even on my darkest levels. Her kids welcomed me whole heartedly and the 2 year old was beginning to call me daddy. This woman began to change.. We broke up. I wont get into her problems but she had alot of supressed issues that she never expressed to anyone. This woman put me through an emotional ringer. I worked with her and it made things worse. The things that occured during work for a year were making me crazy. This woman gained sympathy from my managers against my good name. She flirted with men while I had her undivided attention. Sadly, I was in a state of contradiction. Friends, family, doctors, and shrinks all told me she played me and was just pulling at my heart strings yet I would try to communicate with her on a forgiving level. I felt torn between love and hate and it was a real experience not just a cliche puppy love thing. An 8 month relationship and it was taking me a year to get over it. I visited shrinks, doctors and even an emergency room explaining this story in more detail but nobody was able to help me get over the whole experience. I was obssesed with it and could not just let it go. I had to find the truth about her intentions with me because I could not beleive her behavior. I spent 72 hours in a treatment because I could not get the appropriate help from anyone. Klonopin just put me to sleep. I quit my job hastely because I had snapped during an argument with my manager concerning her and my lack of recognition with my work. I hit rock bottom emotionally and financially. Ive since moved and havea new job. It has been 1 year since break up, 6 months since i quit. I still cannot put this behind me and have called her twice. I cannot move on! Does OCD mean a person cannot move on untill he is settled just physically? I cant go to work because of this. I feel my life is over and have had suicidal thoughts. Zoloft with tharapy? OCD? Bi-Polar? Have had OCD symptoms and ADD as a kid.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

see answer..this is duplicate.

[Copacabana]

I think you need some terapy.
Depression is a mental state, isn't it? So, no matter if you suffer from bipolar, ocd, or anything else....you need to talk to someone about your pain.
Antidepressants could help you, but they're not the answer.