Is there something wrong with me?

[Butterfly490]

I would consider myself a "good" person but I feel I give off the wrong vibe.

I have very, very few friends and am basically a loner.  I attempt to make friends but somehow they just fade away. I'm not a heavy drinker (I like going out with friends and having one or two drinks, that is when I can find someone to go out with).  I don't use drugs at all.   I believe I have an outgoing personality.  But I am still end up alone.  I approach co-workers about happy hour or going out after work; they might accompany me one time and (I thought) we had a ball.  However, it never happened again. So I just stopped asking (it would look too much like begging).

I feel as if I'm being shunned.  People speak to me all the time but they won't associate with me.  I am 52 years old, the mother of 2 (ages 25 and 32) and a feline (age 2).  Both of my sons are employed and I am VERY VERY proud of them.  One has moved back home and the other is doing fine on his own.  I don't mind having my eldest at home, he's my company.   I feel like if it wasn't for my sons I would be totally alone and become senile with only my feline for company.

I have a male friend (he's 16 years my senior).  We've been together for a little over 20 years.  Our relationship has grown close because he's was the only one I could or would trust around my sons as they grew up.  He's been a terrific influence in their lives.  He's never lived with me.  He would come over and most of the time would talk and laugh; sometimes he would even have dinner with us and then he would go home.  He's never stayed with me.  It sorta makes me believe I'm ugly or that there is something wrong with me that I should not be seen in public.  I don't see anything wrong in the mirror.  

I need someone's help and I don't know where to turn.  If you can't help me would you please be so kind as to point me in the right direction.  It would sincerely be appreciated.  I can be reached by reply e-mail.

Bea

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I can point you in the right direction. You need to sit down and explore what is happening and why it is happening in detail. That will require several sessions with an experienced therapist. It's common for  people to jump to the worst conclusion that there is something wrong with you, but I can assure you, that is a false conclusion.  there may be things you need to learn about yourself, but that does not mean you are a damaged person.

[Citizen T]

One thing you can be happy about is that you don't suffer of an actual disorder of the mind, which is the source of a whole lot of misery for a lot of people.    I have a feeling you'd probably get diagnosed with something like social anxiety, but that really doesn't mean anything as far as pathology.   Trust me, don't let anyone put you on medication for this...you don't need a psychiatrist,  you should see  a clinical social worker (aka therapist),  I think they would be very helpful to guide you.

[Butterfly490]

Thank you very much for your help and I will follow up with a therapist.   I just wanted you to know how very much it means to me that someone can understand where I'm coming from.

Again. . .MANY MANY THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND SUGGESTIONS!