Is there something wrong with me?

[jen]

I am concerned because when I get angry it's like something snaps.  I don't get violent but I "see red".  I swear and stomp and slam things, all the while knowing I'm acting like an idiot but it's like I can't stop.  Dumb things set me off, like not being able to find a brush, anything. My husband is fed up and I try to control these temper tantrums but I am not having any luck.  I am concerned that there is something seriously wrong with me and I'm wondering if I should seek professional help, and if so where should I start? Is this a normal problem, or am I the only person who acts like this?

[jen]

Just wanted to update what's going on with me.  I am in the process of receiving professional help and we have discovered some very interesting things.  I am obsessive - compulsive.  I never thought about it before ,but I've been trying to pay attention to when I loose my temper the most. I always plan everything out in my head, step by step.  Like if I'm going somewhere, I have everything in order in my mind.  When I loose control of the situation, something happens that I can't control, that's when I freak out.  I've been making lists since I was in junior high school and I thought it was normal to do this.  But the extent of which I try to plan things out,is not normal.  It's my way of trying to be in control of things I can't control.  This makes a lot of sense to me, because right around junior high is when I felt most out of control.  A lot of terrible things happened that I had no control over.  I am exhilerated about starting to work this out, but re-living all those memories is the worst part for me.  I get so angry and even depressed.  Hopefully, this will be the beginning of me coming to terms with my anger.

[friend]

Any chance you're PMS'ing, Jen?  Symptoms you describe are right outa the book for that.  Also, if you're old enough for perimenopause, therein my lie answers to your woes.  PMS, perimeno-, premeno- pause are hormone-fluctuation driven.  Good luck.  Lots of decent books in the stores on this stuff.

[Ellen]

Hi,
I know what you mean.  The littlest thing will totally set me off--next thing I know, I'm throwing something across the room. Makes me feel nuts!  I just started seeing someone last week and he prescribed Paxil.  Don't know how that's working yet, as it takes a while to kick in.  However, I know that I've been having a problem with anxiety/depression.  Maybe you should see someone.  Alot of times, these illnesses manifest themselves in different ways.

good luck!

[HFHS.MD-AJ]

Jen,

You describe uncontrollable anger and "temper tantrums" that appear to be causing significant impairment in your marital life.
This may be caused by mood disorders (such as bipolar disorder and depression), personality disorders (such as borderline personality disorder), or abuse of alcohol/illicit drugs. You may search through our forum archives for more information about these disorders. I will also encourage you to seek evaluation by a mental health professional, for proper diagnosis and treatment.

[Joe]

Y'know.. I act the same way sometimes.  I used to get REALLY angry over things that "I could not control" -- STUPID stuff, inanimate objects, video games, etc.  And, many times, I probably could have killed or seriously hurt someone if they had interfered during one of my temper tantrums.

I've been through counseling (I've stopped but I need to go back) and I am on Paxil.  I have been seriously depressed for 20+ years and had suicidal urges.  I'm not sure if my anger is tied to my depression or not...

I think my problems stem from childhood and very strict (Roman Catholic) parents -- I never learned to appropriately express my feelings (good OR bad).

Please consider counceling.  Paxil may also help -- it doesn't make you loopey or anything but it does seem to take the edge off.

GOOD LUCK!!