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Question about my psychiatrist's reaction
It seems my psychiatrist has changed towards me the last few months. I can't put my finger on it, but it is like he is saying "that's life, do it like everyone else does." I am not sure this is so but I feel it.
My diagnosis is schizoaffective and since March my depression has been so great I went to the hospital, almost killed myself 30 after leaving the hospital and now I am in day treatment three months later.
I have always been high functioning (I doubt my diagnosis because I have always done so well.) I have always worked and have superb evaluations for the last 20 years. I take pride in my work and have never had a period where I did not work. My depression has been so great I reached a place where I could not work. I am a secretary and made $32,000 a year, saying that to show you I had a very responsible job where I had to be exact and do well, etc.
Before I quit my job I had put my application in for a new job. (My supervisor at my old job was so abrasive and rude to everyone, but especially to me.) I had wanted to work at the job I interviewed with for at least 3 years. (By the way, I worked at the same place for 18 years, and the job I quit was just a temporary position.) Anyway, I wanted this new job badly. I interviewed, they really liked me and asked if I would go to lunch with the vice president and the manager.
That is when I could not work another day and quit my job. My depression was so severe I could not comprehend, concentrate, and it was hard to even think enough to speak. I felt I COULD NOT go to lunch or to take the new job.
My psychiatrist wanted me to keep the appointment and stall on when I could start. I ended up withdrawing my application because I cannot even work right now. He all but rolled his eyes when I told him what had happened. I saw the way he acted and heard what he said and he was very disappointed in me.
It seems like he does not understand how severe my depression is right now. Even though I almost killed myself three months ago, he didn't even try to change my meds.
I know that doctors don't say bad things about other doctors, which is not what I want. I really like and respect and trust him, but it makes me feel so bad that he is so disappointed in me when I could not help the sitution and that he is acting in this, like in my opening paragraph, "get tough." It is important for you to know how high functioning I was and have always worked and done well even through recurrent severe depressions all these years.
What about a person who reaches a brick wall and can't go on. Is that a weakness or something that a doctor should be disappointed in one about? It was not typical for me to quit my job, or turn down the interview. I'm doing all I can to hold myself together and still have suicidal thoughts. Last time, it was so spontaneous, no warning and no boundaries it scares me. I don't know my exact question, would you comment on this, please?
My diagnosis is schizoaffective and since March my depression has been so great I went to the hospital, almost killed myself 30 after leaving the hospital and now I am in day treatment three months later.
I have always been high functioning (I doubt my diagnosis because I have always done so well.) I have always worked and have superb evaluations for the last 20 years. I take pride in my work and have never had a period where I did not work. My depression has been so great I reached a place where I could not work. I am a secretary and made $32,000 a year, saying that to show you I had a very responsible job where I had to be exact and do well, etc.
Before I quit my job I had put my application in for a new job. (My supervisor at my old job was so abrasive and rude to everyone, but especially to me.) I had wanted to work at the job I interviewed with for at least 3 years. (By the way, I worked at the same place for 18 years, and the job I quit was just a temporary position.) Anyway, I wanted this new job badly. I interviewed, they really liked me and asked if I would go to lunch with the vice president and the manager.
That is when I could not work another day and quit my job. My depression was so severe I could not comprehend, concentrate, and it was hard to even think enough to speak. I felt I COULD NOT go to lunch or to take the new job.
My psychiatrist wanted me to keep the appointment and stall on when I could start. I ended up withdrawing my application because I cannot even work right now. He all but rolled his eyes when I told him what had happened. I saw the way he acted and heard what he said and he was very disappointed in me.
It seems like he does not understand how severe my depression is right now. Even though I almost killed myself three months ago, he didn't even try to change my meds.
I know that doctors don't say bad things about other doctors, which is not what I want. I really like and respect and trust him, but it makes me feel so bad that he is so disappointed in me when I could not help the sitution and that he is acting in this, like in my opening paragraph, "get tough." It is important for you to know how high functioning I was and have always worked and done well even through recurrent severe depressions all these years.
What about a person who reaches a brick wall and can't go on. Is that a weakness or something that a doctor should be disappointed in one about? It was not typical for me to quit my job, or turn down the interview. I'm doing all I can to hold myself together and still have suicidal thoughts. Last time, it was so spontaneous, no warning and no boundaries it scares me. I don't know my exact question, would you comment on this, please?
I thank you so much for your encouraging posting. I emailed you a day or two ago. I hope you got it.
Hi There ~
I read your post and wanted to write you back to see how you are doing. Also, wanted to let you know that I feel very badly for what you are going through and how difficult it must be (I know it is) to have the illness that you have. You don't say how old you are or how long you have been dealing with this but it seems to me that you are a very strong and determined person to go through everything that you have recently. I did read the other posts back to you and some I agree with and some I do not.
I hope you don't mind my input back to you but I feel that something isn't quite right here. That would be, to me, is that you may have become way too dependent on your Psychiatrist. It can happen. I don't know how long you've been with this one or if you've had others before but from what you describe as the attitude that came across from him in regard with your job possibility and going out to lunch with that group which met with his disapproval - I am in total disagreeance on that one. Yes, of course life must go on but I believe that some things have to come in due time and course. Please don't ever try to commit suicide again. I don't know if you have done this before and I hope you haven't and I also hope whether you have or not tried to commit suicide before that this will be the end of that. No more - ok? I don't know you but I do care. That alone (the suicide attempt, the depression you are going through, and the anxiety) should be the topic the two of you should be discussing and your well being should be of top priority. Jobs come and go, lunches with the big wigs at Companies can and will happen for you again. If YOU felt that you were not ready for all of this to be heaped on you all at once and in this time frame - then so be it. I feel from your post that you care very much about giving everything your all and trying so hard to be an upstanding Human Being and being professional and hard working in all that you do. That should be highly commended as now a days, it's pretty rare to find people like you. So, be proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished and blow off that job and the interview's, etc. There will be more to come and just look at the Resume that you have now built up for yourself! I don't think you will have any problems finding another type of position at a later time or doing something completely different if you chose to. If all of this that happened disappointed your Psychiatrist, well, in my opinion - too bad. He can stop rolling his eyes at you and do his job by helping you a bit better than letting you think that you have disappointed him. If find this a bit trippy to have a Doctor who is supposed to be on your side making you feel like **** - which is exactly what you do not need now or ever, for that matter. Just remember that there are Millions of shrinks in the world and only one you. You do not need his approval to venture out and seek additional medical advice or opinions. As a matter of fact, you don't need his approval at all nor do you need to worry what 'he' thinks. It should be the other way around and his interest in you and how you are doing, thinking, experiencing, etc....is HIS responsibility. I think you should seek another point of view from another professional, if that is what you feel that you want to do. But don't become so dependent on what someone else thinks or says about you. You are in charge of your life and your medical needs and if you are not satisfied, go somewhere else. He doesn't need to know and if he does - tell him it's for a second opinion. ANY Doctor that does not approve of a patient seeking a second opinion is doing the absolute wrong thing by their patient's and it's then time for a change. You mention that you are taking Meds, of course, but that this Doctor didn't even bother to change them when you tried to kill yourself that day. Did you ask? You have to be proactive in your own care, sweetie. Do you know exactly what you are taking now and what the side effects and such are? Believe it or not, a lot of patient's get medications from Doctor's and don't even bother to look them up, at least on google, or call their Pharmacist to ask questions on what they have just been prescribed or if there is any interaction between one to another. One more thing - You are going through a lot as I gather that from your post. Don't let anyone put you down, make you feel inadequate about anything to include yourself, and please, please don't try and leave this world again. I don't usually do this but I'm going to give you my E mail address and I hope that I hear back from you. I'm more than willing to talk with you and I really would like to know how things are going with you right now and sometimes communication with someone you don't know helps a whole heck of a lot. Been there myself. Take care and don't be afraid to E me direct. I'm a pretty decent person - :) ***@****
I hope that I hear back from you - I've also, to let you know, have had a lot of experience where Psychiatrist's are concerned. Major family issues and such that I can explain later, so I've met more than my share of them along the road of my life.
Bye for now and I hope you pick up my post.
I read your post and wanted to write you back to see how you are doing. Also, wanted to let you know that I feel very badly for what you are going through and how difficult it must be (I know it is) to have the illness that you have. You don't say how old you are or how long you have been dealing with this but it seems to me that you are a very strong and determined person to go through everything that you have recently. I did read the other posts back to you and some I agree with and some I do not.
I hope you don't mind my input back to you but I feel that something isn't quite right here. That would be, to me, is that you may have become way too dependent on your Psychiatrist. It can happen. I don't know how long you've been with this one or if you've had others before but from what you describe as the attitude that came across from him in regard with your job possibility and going out to lunch with that group which met with his disapproval - I am in total disagreeance on that one. Yes, of course life must go on but I believe that some things have to come in due time and course. Please don't ever try to commit suicide again. I don't know if you have done this before and I hope you haven't and I also hope whether you have or not tried to commit suicide before that this will be the end of that. No more - ok? I don't know you but I do care. That alone (the suicide attempt, the depression you are going through, and the anxiety) should be the topic the two of you should be discussing and your well being should be of top priority. Jobs come and go, lunches with the big wigs at Companies can and will happen for you again. If YOU felt that you were not ready for all of this to be heaped on you all at once and in this time frame - then so be it. I feel from your post that you care very much about giving everything your all and trying so hard to be an upstanding Human Being and being professional and hard working in all that you do. That should be highly commended as now a days, it's pretty rare to find people like you. So, be proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished and blow off that job and the interview's, etc. There will be more to come and just look at the Resume that you have now built up for yourself! I don't think you will have any problems finding another type of position at a later time or doing something completely different if you chose to. If all of this that happened disappointed your Psychiatrist, well, in my opinion - too bad. He can stop rolling his eyes at you and do his job by helping you a bit better than letting you think that you have disappointed him. If find this a bit trippy to have a Doctor who is supposed to be on your side making you feel like **** - which is exactly what you do not need now or ever, for that matter. Just remember that there are Millions of shrinks in the world and only one you. You do not need his approval to venture out and seek additional medical advice or opinions. As a matter of fact, you don't need his approval at all nor do you need to worry what 'he' thinks. It should be the other way around and his interest in you and how you are doing, thinking, experiencing, etc....is HIS responsibility. I think you should seek another point of view from another professional, if that is what you feel that you want to do. But don't become so dependent on what someone else thinks or says about you. You are in charge of your life and your medical needs and if you are not satisfied, go somewhere else. He doesn't need to know and if he does - tell him it's for a second opinion. ANY Doctor that does not approve of a patient seeking a second opinion is doing the absolute wrong thing by their patient's and it's then time for a change. You mention that you are taking Meds, of course, but that this Doctor didn't even bother to change them when you tried to kill yourself that day. Did you ask? You have to be proactive in your own care, sweetie. Do you know exactly what you are taking now and what the side effects and such are? Believe it or not, a lot of patient's get medications from Doctor's and don't even bother to look them up, at least on google, or call their Pharmacist to ask questions on what they have just been prescribed or if there is any interaction between one to another. One more thing - You are going through a lot as I gather that from your post. Don't let anyone put you down, make you feel inadequate about anything to include yourself, and please, please don't try and leave this world again. I don't usually do this but I'm going to give you my E mail address and I hope that I hear back from you. I'm more than willing to talk with you and I really would like to know how things are going with you right now and sometimes communication with someone you don't know helps a whole heck of a lot. Been there myself. Take care and don't be afraid to E me direct. I'm a pretty decent person - :) ***@****
I hope that I hear back from you - I've also, to let you know, have had a lot of experience where Psychiatrist's are concerned. Major family issues and such that I can explain later, so I've met more than my share of them along the road of my life.
Bye for now and I hope you pick up my post.
Hi There ~
I read your post and wanted to write you back to see how you are doing. Also, wanted to let you know that I feel very badly for what you are going through and how difficult it must be (I know it is) to have the illness that you have. You don't say how old you are or how long you have been dealing with this but it seems to me that you are a very strong and determined person to go through everything that you have recently. I did read the other posts back to you and some I agree with and some I do not.
I hope you don't mind my input back to you but I feel that something isn't quite right here. That would be, to me, is that you may have become way too dependent on your Psychiatrist. It can happen. I don't know how long you've been with this one or if you've had others before but from what you describe as the attitude that came across from him in regard with your job possibility and going out to lunch with that group which met with his disapproval - I am in total disagreeance on that one. Yes, of course life must go on but I believe that some things have to come in due time and course. Please don't ever try to commit suicide again. I don't know if you have done this before and I hope you haven't and I also hope whether you have or not tried to commit suicide before that this will be the end of that. No more - ok? I don't know you but I do care. That alone (the suicide attempt, the depression you are going through, and the anxiety) should be the topic the two of you should be discussing and your well being should be of top priority. Jobs come and go, lunches with the big wigs at Companies can and will happen for you again. If YOU felt that you were not ready for all of this to be heaped on you all at once and in this time frame - then so be it. I feel from your post that you care very much about giving everything your all and trying so hard to be an upstanding Human Being and being professional and hard working in all that you do. That should be highly commended as now a days, it's pretty rare to find people like you. So, be proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished and blow off that job and the interview's, etc. There will be more to come and just look at the Resume that you have now built up for yourself! I don't think you will have any problems finding another type of position at a later time or doing something completely different if you chose to. If all of this that happened disappointed your Psychiatrist, well, in my opinion - too bad. He can stop rolling his eyes at you and do his job by helping you a bit better than letting you think that you have disappointed him. If find this a bit trippy to have a Doctor who is supposed to be on your side making you feel like **** - which is exactly what you do not need now or ever, for that matter. Just remember that there are Millions of shrinks in the world and only one you. You do not need his approval to venture out and seek additional medical advice or opinions. As a matter of fact, you don't need his approval at all nor do you need to worry what 'he' thinks. It should be the other way around and his interest in you and how you are doing, thinking, experiencing, etc....is HIS responsibility. I think you should seek another point of view from another professional, if that is what you feel that you want to do. But don't become so dependent on what someone else thinks or says about you. You are in charge of your life and your medical needs and if you are not satisfied, go somewhere else. He doesn't need to know and if he does - tell him it's for a second opinion. ANY Doctor that does not approve of a patient seeking a second opinion is doing the absolute wrong thing by their patient's and it's then time for a change. You mention that you are taking Meds, of course, but that this Doctor didn't even bother to change them when you tried to kill yourself that day. Did you ask? You have to be proactive in your own care, sweetie. Do you know exactly what you are taking now and what the side effects and such are? Believe it or not, a lot of patient's get medications from Doctor's and don't even bother to look them up, at least on google, or call their Pharmacist to ask questions on what they have just been prescribed or if there is any interaction between one to another. One more thing - You are going through a lot as I gather that from your post. Don't let anyone put you down, make you feel inadequate about anything to include yourself, and please, please don't try and leave this world again. I don't usually do this but I'm going to give you my E mail address and I hope that I hear back from you. I'm more than willing to talk with you and I really would like to know how things are going with you right now and sometimes communication with someone you don't know helps a whole heck of a lot. Been there myself. Take care and don't be afraid to E me direct. I'm a pretty decent person - :) ***@****
I hope that I hear back from you - I've also, to let you know, have had a lot of experience where Psychiatrist's are concerned. Major family issues and such that I can explain later, so I've met more than my share of them along the road of my life.
Bye for now and I hope you pick up my post.
I read your post and wanted to write you back to see how you are doing. Also, wanted to let you know that I feel very badly for what you are going through and how difficult it must be (I know it is) to have the illness that you have. You don't say how old you are or how long you have been dealing with this but it seems to me that you are a very strong and determined person to go through everything that you have recently. I did read the other posts back to you and some I agree with and some I do not.
I hope you don't mind my input back to you but I feel that something isn't quite right here. That would be, to me, is that you may have become way too dependent on your Psychiatrist. It can happen. I don't know how long you've been with this one or if you've had others before but from what you describe as the attitude that came across from him in regard with your job possibility and going out to lunch with that group which met with his disapproval - I am in total disagreeance on that one. Yes, of course life must go on but I believe that some things have to come in due time and course. Please don't ever try to commit suicide again. I don't know if you have done this before and I hope you haven't and I also hope whether you have or not tried to commit suicide before that this will be the end of that. No more - ok? I don't know you but I do care. That alone (the suicide attempt, the depression you are going through, and the anxiety) should be the topic the two of you should be discussing and your well being should be of top priority. Jobs come and go, lunches with the big wigs at Companies can and will happen for you again. If YOU felt that you were not ready for all of this to be heaped on you all at once and in this time frame - then so be it. I feel from your post that you care very much about giving everything your all and trying so hard to be an upstanding Human Being and being professional and hard working in all that you do. That should be highly commended as now a days, it's pretty rare to find people like you. So, be proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished and blow off that job and the interview's, etc. There will be more to come and just look at the Resume that you have now built up for yourself! I don't think you will have any problems finding another type of position at a later time or doing something completely different if you chose to. If all of this that happened disappointed your Psychiatrist, well, in my opinion - too bad. He can stop rolling his eyes at you and do his job by helping you a bit better than letting you think that you have disappointed him. If find this a bit trippy to have a Doctor who is supposed to be on your side making you feel like **** - which is exactly what you do not need now or ever, for that matter. Just remember that there are Millions of shrinks in the world and only one you. You do not need his approval to venture out and seek additional medical advice or opinions. As a matter of fact, you don't need his approval at all nor do you need to worry what 'he' thinks. It should be the other way around and his interest in you and how you are doing, thinking, experiencing, etc....is HIS responsibility. I think you should seek another point of view from another professional, if that is what you feel that you want to do. But don't become so dependent on what someone else thinks or says about you. You are in charge of your life and your medical needs and if you are not satisfied, go somewhere else. He doesn't need to know and if he does - tell him it's for a second opinion. ANY Doctor that does not approve of a patient seeking a second opinion is doing the absolute wrong thing by their patient's and it's then time for a change. You mention that you are taking Meds, of course, but that this Doctor didn't even bother to change them when you tried to kill yourself that day. Did you ask? You have to be proactive in your own care, sweetie. Do you know exactly what you are taking now and what the side effects and such are? Believe it or not, a lot of patient's get medications from Doctor's and don't even bother to look them up, at least on google, or call their Pharmacist to ask questions on what they have just been prescribed or if there is any interaction between one to another. One more thing - You are going through a lot as I gather that from your post. Don't let anyone put you down, make you feel inadequate about anything to include yourself, and please, please don't try and leave this world again. I don't usually do this but I'm going to give you my E mail address and I hope that I hear back from you. I'm more than willing to talk with you and I really would like to know how things are going with you right now and sometimes communication with someone you don't know helps a whole heck of a lot. Been there myself. Take care and don't be afraid to E me direct. I'm a pretty decent person - :) ***@****
I hope that I hear back from you - I've also, to let you know, have had a lot of experience where Psychiatrist's are concerned. Major family issues and such that I can explain later, so I've met more than my share of them along the road of my life.
Bye for now and I hope you pick up my post.
Yes, try talking to the psychiatrist first---lay it all to him. After all, what's the worst that could happen? You could end up having to find another psychiatrist, which is looks like you are leaning toward anyway. So since you have nothing to lose, why not give it a last-ditch "tell all" effort?
Good luck!
Good luck!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
YOu have two options, the first being much better than the second. The first is talk to your psychiatrist about everything you wrote here. YOu respect and trust him, so he should be able to explain himself, or at least listen, and maybe understand you even better than he does now. I don't what was in his mind, but pushing you to do something that is hard for you to do, would not be out of order if he felt that was necessary, because getting your life moving again is what is going to be therapeutic, and only you can do that.
Your second option is to ask for a second opinion, a consultation with another psychiatrist. I strongly recommend the first option.
Your second option is to ask for a second opinion, a consultation with another psychiatrist. I strongly recommend the first option.
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