husbands moodswings

[1256love]

I don't understand my husband.... he will so several days and be the most loving husband then all of a sudden it is like a veil comes over him. This is my second marriage and we have been through alot from loosing everyting (he had) due to the economey. He has days of being so caring and loving then out of nowhere he talks of how much easier his life would be without me and my daughter that he would less to worry about. He tells me how much he loves me but, if I left he wold be fine. We have had to move in a 2 bedroom appt and he has 3 boys. I have tried to find a job to help but, no luck so the car he bought me had to go back. I recentley went back to school to get a better education so hopefully I can find a job to help. We have 1 car which he uses to go to work so I am home all day. This is when I do my online classes. I am so tired of the mood swings and the way he makes me feel about not working. I do the best I can with the resorces I have....we are cramped and I try to keep things orgainized the best I can but, it is not enough. I love him so much but, if I mention leaving he acts like I am giving up but, I dont want to be a burden on him as he makes me feel. he says he has so much stress he cant take much more. I feel like a good wife but, he makes me feel different. How can he love me so much one day then the next act as if  am a burden. We have only been married a year. I do love him so much but, if I am the reason for his unhapiness then I will leave. Please someone tell me what I can do??

[zack32]

Try always being respectful to each and of each other. Remain calm when in conversations. Anyone can catch a ball when it is tossed gently, but when it is flung full force at you, one would tend to duck and miss it. Words are the same way. If they are flung about in an argument the points are often missed and stuff gets said that isn't meant. Just some advice. I hope all works out well for you. Also if you are a Bible reader, it has great guidelines on marriage and family life.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

these are hard times for both of you, so you have to be careful of interpreting what is said under pressure of worry as the "truth" about whether he loves you or not.  You have to talk through all of these pressures and help each other through, and help each other understand rather than thinking about drastic actions like leaving...that sounds like your hurt talking rather than a considered decision.   Try to get some counseling help in your community...if you can afford $5, you can sign up  at www.myvirtualshrink.com, and get some help in how to talk to your husband in a way that might make him understand.