Suicidal Thoughts?

[AnnaC]

Was wondering if anyone has heard from Suicidal Thoughts lately. I was very concerned about her, have not seem any postings from her.  Thanks, AnnaC

[ada]

I have been fighting susicidal thoughts for some time now.  I like you can not take any kind of
depression medications be

[suicidal thoughts]

be careful playing games. when you get it right its final, theres no turning back. i am not afraid of dying, i think the whole idea is that we are more afraid of life than death. but you are playing with fire and will eventually get burned if you continue to play games like this. this is no game, it a matter of life and death and death is FINAL. its no game. it would be tragic to take one too many pills and lose the game when you are not really ready to lose.     suicidal thoughts

[patricia]

Dear AnnaC :  I too have had many suicidal thoughts. The thing that scares me the most....is that I am not afraid of it. If you don't mind I will share an experience with you......(first I have been diagnosed with severe depression, panic disorder, and ocd.(they have me on what they call guarded))
One night things we just not going right for me. I was trembling and my guts hurt,my speach was lost. I just couldn't say what I wanted to say. So I decided to take a sleeping pill and go to sleep. After 1/2hr. I took another one because it didn't work. I had looked at the clock and decided to play a game with it. I would take a pill every 5mins until I fell asleep. I hit 15 then passed out.I just slept through the night and the next day but I was fine.

Do you want to know what scared me about the whole thing?
I WAS NOT AFRAID TO TAKE THE PILLS.I WAS MAD THAT I DID WAKE UP A DAY LATER. I have been in the hospital for 8wks. It has done me no good. I think that maybe I am addicted to pills. Not any kind just all of them.
My physicist has me on so many different drugs.
-Amitriptyline 50mg twice daily
-Nozinan 5mg 2 3xday and 6 at bedtime.
-Eltroxin 100mcg daily
-Zoloft 100mg 3x a day
-Ativan 2mg 3x a day

You would thing that with all these drugs, I should be coming out of the depression and the feelings of suicide. But don't kid yourself.........those feelings never go away. I play many different games with the pills. I am not afraid to die. That is what scares me. The things that I am afraid of is getting old. and my husband or kids going before me. So I live with the fear, cry all day or have attacks and take my pills.

I do have one nice thing I would like to share with you and that is life is precious. You just have to find the place where you belong a

[AnnaC]

Don't worry Sui Thoughts.  I have been the one probably wrong here.  I have thought of you alot because anyone who has ever suffered depression knows what another person goes through.  You did not bring me down, i just wondered and hoped you were better. Everyone on this forum has or has had a problem or they wouldn't be here.( we hope, nobody, surly would come here for kicks.)  What we need is a forum chat room.  Hope this finds you well. AnnaC

[suicidal thoughts]

doc and anna, i am very sorry for the negative affects my posting has had. i failed to consider the effect on others. i visit this site for feedback and information, i do not wish to bring others down. i will reserve any further communication on the subject for my psychiatrist. truely sorry, sui thts

[HFHS MD-JM]

Anna,

   Follow up and management are not the intent of this forum.  One needs to see their personal physician for care.  The intent of this forum is to provide general medical information and education related to mental health issues.  Anyone with suicidal thoughts should have prompt evaluation and treatment in an emergency setting if not by your own physician.  I understand your concern though.  Suicidal thoughts and actions affect everyone that the person encounters.

Sincerely,

HFHS MD-JM

Keyword: Suicide

[AnnaC]

Sorry I have not checked in this week, been busy trying to get my daughter moved and you know what that's like.  I live in Kentucy and it's been unusally hot.  Glad you have changed meds. to answere your question about Paxil.  I did take it for about 4 days about a year ago.  I was really down from worrying about my son, ( can't help it), anyway , it was to treat the anxiety, I was just very nervous and had began to just cry alot.  It helped to quite me down, and I don't believe I ever felt so relaxed. The dr. told me it would take a few days close to home for my system to adjust, I was doing very well, but I look after my Aunt and had to take her to the Dr.  My driving was a little careless and I almost had a wreck, so I quit taking it because I had to be available for her and I was afraid.  I think a person needs to have almost a 2 week period of not too much responsiblity in order for these meds to really work. Trying to go on as usual works against you.  Rest and relaxing go along way for aperson to get well.  I felt like my mind really needed a break and it did help me as I said.  Of course, it could have really helped me if I could have had time to myself.  I have got through that period, time helped me.  I have not taken anything else.    Hope this finds you well. AnnaC

[AnnaC]

I was sure glad to see your reply.  I think I do understand how you feel about having choices.  I'll be hoping that your new meds are affective.  You somehow, have been close in my thoughts, I almost feel like I know you.  Good luck and I'll be checking back to see your name.  I started to post my e-mail, so you could just send me mail, but didn't know weather to or not.   AnnaC

[AnnaC]

I was sure glad to see your reply.  I think I do understand how you feel about having choices.  I'll be hoping that your new meds are affective.  You somehow, have been close in my thoughts, I almost feel like I know you.  Good luck and I'll be checking back to see your name.  AnnaC

[suicidal thoughts]

i'm still here, and i appreciate your thoughts. i saw my psych this week, and hes ready to admit me, but i'm not ready to go yet, but if nothing happens soon its going to come to that. we have again changed drugs, and i just started on celexa today, although i have tried paxil and it was not effective. i am hanging by a very thin thread and have all my plans in place, and somehow feel empowered to know that if it comes to that, i can end this when i feel i can take no more. it comforts me to know that i have that choice, and that ability, maybe gives me a little strength. this last change over on drugs had more impact than usual, it really screwed up my system, but hopefully i'm past that now, and the new drug will be easy to adjust to. i'm trying, just don't know from day to day. i guess thats true of most folks. thanks for asking  sui thts.

[suicidal thoughts]

you could post your e-mail if you would like, i'm not much into conversing right now, i let the machine catch all the phone calls and usually just screen e-mail but i appreciate the good thoughts you are holding for me. have you had any experience with celexa? i dont know if it is much different from paxil and i thought all ssri's pretty much had the same effect. anyway, the last three drugs have been intolerable, so the haven't had much of a chance to help. i must have some kind of low threshold or something. i guess maybe my system isnt used to drugs stronger than tylenol or the beta blockers, and i have a hard time with them as well. i never in my wildest dreams would have thought i would be in this kind of shape. it came out of nowhere and just wont let go. but i am grateful for the support and the thoughts. i may make it yet, but right now i dont make any promises to myself or anyone else.  sui thts