Go to this website:
http://crystal.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
It's a big website called Secret Shame, all about self-injury, tons of resources and information, and they have a good support board and chat for self-injurers. Please check it out!
And check into what kind of counselling/therapy you or your parents can afford. If you have anyone you really trust with your secrets, it might feel good to confide in them and get some support.
Best of luck, you can get through this. I know folks who hae managed to stop hurting themselves like this and learn that life can be a wonderful place to be.
Grrlfriend
I think if you are feeling that way you should take yourself or get someone else to take you to the nearest emergency room and talk to someone right now.This is not a normal way to feel.There are many medications out there to help you,but you need help now.Don't hurt yourself any more,you are a good person and should have a good full life.Things just aren't going well for you right now,don't give up,there is help out there but go now to a hospital and ask them for help please.
You should definitely tell this dream to your psychiatrist..it may mean many things, and could be the kind of breakthrough you are looking for. Don't give up hope now. It means something important and you have the right place to discuss it.