depersonalization

[SanCrazy7]

Age:25
Height: 5’8’’
Weight: 155lbs.
Smoke No
Drink: Recently Quit

I am a 25 year old female who has been struggling with severe panic/depersonalization disorder for 5 years now. It began in college, and is getting worse everyday. I now have full blown 24/7 depersonalization which I define as a “constant detachment from reality” to where it’s like you are “on autopilot everyday, as if I’m not in control of my thoughts and actions”. This has been going on for 5 years now. This is a summary of my symptoms, tests I have run, doctors I have been treated by, and medications used:

SYMPTOMS : (most severe first)
1- depersonalization/detachment from reality
2- severe anxiety
3- pain and sever achiness over area of the heart   for a year now
4- trouble breathing (unproductive cough/ feels like there’s something in lungs for 9 months) and severe sinus congestion


TESTS RUN:
1- 2 brain MRI’s (showed  several deep white cerebral lesions not changed over 2 months)
2- 3 EKGs- normal
3- 3 lung xrays-normal
4- Heart halter- normal
5- Allergy test- no allergies
6- Spiral CT-normal
7- Echocardiogram-normal                         DIAGNOSIS: chostochondritis (7/07)
8- Throat x-ray-normal
Please feel free  to email me at ***@****'ve got to get over this

I am currently seeing dr. Rae Grant in the Melon Center

[dps524]

The ssri and xanax is what was prescribed to me, and THANK GOD it worked.  I chose not to take the xanax (I have a history of drug abuse, and benzos are habit-forming).  It was only a few weeks, and I was feeling closer and closer to normal.  Better than normal, actually.  And level-- part of te problem with panic attacks and anxiety is that we become anxious that we are going to have another attack, therefore perpetuating the anxiety even more.  It sucks.  It's the worst feeling that I have felt (other than heartbreak) in my life.  It's worse than grieving a death, in my opinion, b/c at least death is a normal and inevitable part of life.  Panic attacks are not.  Until you see a doctor, remember to breathe.  Take deep breaths and try (it's so freakin' hard, I know) and do something to take your mind off of your mind.

[Sheralyn]

By the way, I've had anxiety problems since I was a kid...could that dreamlike feeling be related to it?  I remember I used to get it nearly every time I was in a big crowd of people.

[Sheralyn]

Since I was a kid, I'd occasionally get this temporary feeling that I was "in a dream".  It used to scare me, until I found out that some other people had experienced the same thing.  I rarely get it now as an adult, but what is it?  Would that be the same as depersonalization?  I always knew exactly what I was doing and never felt that I "left my body" or anything, just that dreamlike quality.  I've always been curious about it, but never thought to ask a doctor.

[level]

I ride and race dirtbikes as well. I feel for you man. I have had a few panic attacks but mostly have chronic anxiety. The detached feling is aweful-you really do feel like your in a dream world and nothing is real. It's an aweful feeling. About the only thing they can do man is prescribe anti-depressants to try and stop the panic attacks and then a benzo to take as needed if you feel one coming on. Then of course therapy. That's all there is. More and more people seem to be suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. It's like it's become an epidemic but there is no answer why. If you want to medicate then like I said an ssri and a benzo as needed or for the first month until the ssri kicks in is really about the only option out there I hate to say.

[Aint_It_Fun]

I have a simular problem. This stuff is almost unbearable. I have some sick *** panic attacks. I'm 19 and it all started on the 4th of this month. I was riding my dirt bike like always..not worried or scared of anything. I was haulin *** and it just hit me like a train. I freaked out almost wrecked and parked it, and so it began. I cant sleep for nothin...I wake up in the middle of the night in full blown attack mode. My mind confused and blank feeling. I feel like a zombie is the best way to say it. And in the day if i try at all to do something all i can think of is if another attacks gonna hit me for no reason. This really sucks because i like to race my bike and it seems i went from ballsy to chump in a matter of 10 minutes. Its seriously ruining my days and i refuse to become some *** sitter thats scared of his own shaddow. Yet i cant help it...they just hit me and i have no control over it. I too have had the EKG...normal...halter...normal....blood work normal. And another fun part is i seem to get every single sympton in the list for panic attacks. The worst is when your body loses all feeling and you feel like your non exsistant for a couple seconds. I have the same symptom you do also...My mind nore me have felt the same since the first attack. I thought i had carbon monoxide poisoning at first but it never went away. Every time they scan something and say its normal...my mind just moves along to the next possible cause so i cant rest.

[dps524]

Psychotherapy is having regular visits with a Clinical Psychologist / aka Therapist.  I have been seeing a therapist for 3 years now, and he takes a behavioral approach to my anxiety/depression.  We talk about what's going on in the present, and his foundational theory is "we do things to make us fell the way we want to feel; and we do things to make us feel the way we DONT want to feel."  In other words, we are responsible for our emotions.  Mood follows actions.   I am not at all saying that what yor feeling is your FAULT, but sometimes we are doing things that we don't even realize we are doing that make us feel the way we are feeling.  These are the things that my therapist helps me to discover about myself.  By the way, I just recently had some debilitating panic attacks, (unknown origin) and am now on 50mg Zoloft, which is working spectacularly. I think that if I had not seen any improvement, or felt a strong bond with my therapist by 6 months, that I would have searched for a different therapist.

It took me 18 months to realize that drinking had lots to do with my depression.  The drinking was a big problem-- I was doing things after drinking that I normally wouldn't do, like sleep with strangers I met at the bar, spend way to much money, drive drunk, settle for less-than-stellar grades, etc.  I thought that if I just found the right guy I would have a good reason to change, and be the good person that I knew that I was.  What I have learned is that I must change for me, and then the right guy will present himself.  Now I am sober and engaged to the love of my life.  If you have just recently quit drinking, I suggest going to anAA....it works for me.  Good luck.

[SanCrazy7]

i have been with a cognitive therapist for 6 months now ..........i was trying meds with a psychiatrist , but i just found out i was pregnant, so i can't take them anymore......what is psychotherapy????

Thanks ...it sounds like you understand...

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

i see and understand your situation, but still am not sure what treatment you have received...you should be in intensive psychotherapy with a very experienced talk therapist...that is the way to break this cycle....anything less is a band aid.