Can anyone identify this mental disorder?

Not sure where to start. Family member is 40 yrs old male. Violent, angry, sad and mad all the time. Control issues and "paranoia" (feels everyone is out to get him) But in many cases people are really out to get him because he has caused so many problems for so many people so maybe not completely paranoid maybe just instinct now. He causes so much drama and problems of anger and distress he has to move from town to town to get away from what he starts. It's pretty much been his whole life.

As he got older the "control" issues grew out of control. His boss where he worked last year asked him to do something the boss would normally ask but this day he didn't feel like doing it. He told the boss he would do it when he felt like it and NO ONE WILL TELL HIM WHAT TO DO. Boss stunned at his violent way of speaking responded but paused, I am the boss here and pay you to do what I ask of you. So he told his boss he'd rather live on the street with nothing than let someone "CONTROL" him. He quit and for the past year has been living in his van because he can't find work. The boss contacted him to come back to work, he said nope, he won't be controlled. Ripped through his credit, lost everything he has and still feels good that he would not let the boss control him. The boss was not controlling at all. He responds to everyone this way when anyone asks him to do anything.

He tries so hard to meet women just to have the chance to dump them and see how upset they get. He says if a woman gets really upset maybe this one really likes me. But then he is only mean to them and they always leave him soon after.

But this next part really takes the cake. He lives in a fantasy world that he creates as he goes along. No reality in his fantasy world. In this world he is the center and everyone else he controls. His control issues are so strong he needed to create this fantasy world to live it. In this fantasy world now his reality for the past 2 years everyone is trying to hurt him. Crazy things that never happen to people happen to him daily, always horrible type things. He blames everyone around him for the way he feels because they are doing it to him even if he has never met or seen them and often these people do not exist.

Pathological for the most part but what is not pathological is compulsive. What's left maybe 10% truth but even that is fading away each year. I've been trying to help him over the years thinking he had "schizophrenia" but he is FULLY AWARE he is living a pretend life. If you dig in to him when he makes a mistake in his lies you can get him to admit he knows it is all fantasy because reality is too hard to accept and he would only kill him self if he had to live in reality it hurts so much. Then he will start screaming and become violent if you don't allow him to go back to his fantasy world and back off or he will go away where he can be back in his world.

His fantasy world is a very bad world to live in but in his world nothing is his fault because he blames everyone else. He is punishing and destroying him self in this fantasy world. His reality world was not that bad. He had lots of friends, a good average mans pay, not wealthy some hard times but doing ok all around, well liked by his friends. But as his fantasy world began to take over reality started to disappear and it's almost gone.

He still is completely aware between fantasy and reality. But lives 100% in fantasy. I feel we are going to loose him to the fantasy where he won't know what reality is soon if this progresses at the rate it's going.

I do know he suffers from depression and lonelyness. I'm not so sure what he has because he is really self destructive. He is keeping clean, does laundry somehow and eats, picks up odd jobs off the street here and there to buy food and gas, but he is going further down hill faster each month. Anyone who tried to be a part of his live he tried to mentally destroy and makes an effort to do so for enjoyment.

I can't just say he's a bad man, he's snapped it seems a few years ago. This is new. Mental breakdown?

Can anyone identify this disorder? He won't accept help.

[mybuddy750]

I looked up paranoid schizophrenia and nearly a perfect match but the part that does not fit is that he is fully aware between fantasy and reality to the point where he explains why he chooses to live in a fantasy world. But he's living it 24hrs every day and never comes out until someone forces him out for a short while until he becomes violent and we let him have his way and be by him self in his terrible fantasy. A waking nightmare.

I'm puzzled. He's not faking this, he really is loosing it. I think in a year he will be one of those homeless people holding a sign begging for money. I don't mean broke and desperate for food I mean the whole mental bit, not showering living in the gutter off the side of the road, ect...

[whodunnit]

Sounds a lot like a substance abuse problem to me I'm afraid. He sounds too organised to be a mental problem as such, except a self imposed one.

[mybuddy750]

Background. Other dysfunctional family members also suffer from depression and alcohol abuse. However this man can't afford alcohol so this addiction at least is not the cause. I don't suspect drug use.

[mybuddy750]

I think hes in too much control to have drugs influence his actions. It's possible but I don't think so. I can't figure this out and I can't help him until I understand. But he used to be normal many years ago. Just anger problems. All this is new.

[whodunnit]

I should have said, past substance abuse problem as unemployment does restrict current problems. If he did street drugs when young paranoia is a given and anger at authority is a part of that too. When done young brain damage and mental problems are also fairly predictable too.

Of course the classic psychological problem in this regard is parental issues, like ages zero to 5 mainly. Causing automatic rejection of any authority figure. I have that from the way I was brought up. Nothing violent or nasty, just constant barrages of inconsistent lecturing etc. You know, hypocrisy.

[ginsa]

Sounds a lot like Narccisistic Personality Disorder, but doesn't completely fit the profile. Google it. There are some really good videos on You Tube about personality disorders.