Sense of Dread

[lonewolf07]

Hi

It is extremely difficult for me to reach out and admit how I feel; I tend to withdraw instead.  The fear of judgement and rejection is still there, along with the fears of being perceived as an attention-getter, even after being in this Forum since March 2008.  Using "I" in so many sentences also bothers me.

I've been feeling a sense of dread for over a week now.  I feel disconnected and unfocused, my thoughts aren't clear and am unable to articulate what I want to say.  Sometimes this happens before an emotional crash.  Have even had feelings of suicide and don't like that at all.  Have been trying to fight it by talking with my therapist and going to the medicine woman but the feelings of dread and disconnectedness just come back and I don't know why.  These feelings are so awful and so draining.

Have been having extremely vivid dreams, always have.  But these dreams are nightmares and even if I wake up and then go back to sleep, the dreams continue where they left off.  This is also effecting me.

I feel both numb and in pain at the same time.  Am I crazy?

[lonewolf07]

I'm hanging in.  Thank you for asking.

[bentlyboy]

Are you O.K.?

[lonewolf07]

Help ....  = (

[lonewolf07]

Paramed

Part of it involves controlling breathing which I often forget to do when I am anxious.  The numb but in pain sensation is difficult.  The dreams - Native people do believe a lot in dreams as being messages from somewhere.   I do feel like I'm going crazy but it seems to be a cyclical thing and I don't know where it comes from.

Can only get through it one really small step at a time.  A master plan sounds good.

Thank you for your response.

wolf

[ParamedFlorena]

Remember that we're all here for a reason. If it is to sort thoughts, it is. We're all human beings. Our experiences are many, and knowing how many experiences I personally have, there is absolutely no one that are judged from my side!

I thought about that defense you were talking about. It does go on focusing on the breath, right? How about applying that focus to your breath if you should wake up at night and "follow your inspiration and expiration"... I'll share that with you some time! Just a PM away!

Vivid dreams are thoughts, energies. Things that our subconscious mind works with while we're sleeping. I don't know where the balance goes on how much we should put to our dreams, but I believe that there's always something they want to tell us.

You're maybe feeling like you're going crazy, but I really don't think you are! As in all coping, we need to get to the problem solving - but not too fast, and from there we can make an outline of a mastering plan. As in getting from A to B, then to C and finally far ways out in the alphabet.... In due time.

Florena