Hi im a 27 yr old male with two kids I work full time 7 days a week most the time im constantly thinking of death I overdose on vitamins garlic painkillers all in a weird way either to blank out the darkness or the vitamins to try and keep me healthy the obscene amount of time iv wasted thinking about who when,how, clotts, strokes, clogged arteries, **** im a freak I can't even look at my kids because I know I won't see them 1 day, im so so down about this im just a simple guy who loves his family I know Im wasting time dwelling on the inevitableble but it scares me so much iv had a lovely upbringing loving parents who I love dearly a brother neices cousins all of which I have full blown panicky attacks in the middle of a cafe or join the middle of Tesco, onto of this nobody knows I have this problem so I have to hide all shame I feel week against death please help me I can't take it no more.
Thank you all very much, I will see a doctor soon.
Im sorry to hear that, but I totally understand. I may not have thought about as much detail is you, but I often found myself driving and thinking.."It wouldnt be so bad if I drove off this cliff and died." or "I wish someone would break into my house and shoot me in my sleep." Well, I recently started Effexor and I feel so much better. You should give something a try, it really can be a life saver.
I think therapy would help you overcome this fear and worry. I think you have developed some anxiety along with your depression which is common. With anxiety we can become obcessed with different aspects of life and for you I think it's a fear of losing loved ones. This may be the result of something from your past, and with therapy you can learn what that is, deal with it and move on. If you have no root cause then you can learn how not to obcess about this. I went thru this after losing several family members is a very short period of time, and it's a terrible way to live our life! I think you should go back to your doctor and let him know about these obcessive thoughts, you may need an anxiety medication along with the antidepressant, most of us do! I truly understand and wish you all the best. Take care.
It is a symptom of depression
Try to focus on life, moment by moment, that is all you can do.