help please

[cecelia87]

hey im feeling so sory for myself everyday ive too cook the dinner in the house other wise id starve i dont mind cos im 19 but the fact is my mother never cooks for me she always cooks 4 my older sister it was alway the way even as kids she bring her breakfast in bed and id be rushing out the door with an empty stomach no lunch or money for lunch.. then wen she went to college i was stil in high school and the dinner would never be cooked 4 me so i just do my homework and go to my room to watch tv grabbing a choc bar out the cupboard.. but as soon as she was home the dinner was cooked.. i ended up in hosp last yr with a stomach ulcer being rushed to hosp during college, it was great coming home from college cos the dinner was always cooked then i moved out and was feeding myself fine defending for myself then wen i returned back home things have been the exact same.. i ask for advice in wat to eat and its chicken, beans... there is nothing healthly!! to eat along with the chicken!! am i being selfish?? i cant get a job ive been looking! my sister has a job and doesnt even pay towards rent etc... i just at the end of my tedder i just want to give up.. its not just home life its my own life i wish i could afford to drive, i wish id a boyfriend but nothing is working for me i no im only a 19 yr old girl but still!! im just <:( please advice me.. i know there is ppl in worse suitions than this problem...

[StephBlah]

Okay, so I understand why your feeling the way you are. But feeling sorry and bad all the time isnt whats going to make you feel better. You just need to worry about yourself for a moment and breath. Since your only 19 (im the same age) I really think you should think about what it is you want in life. Get yourself into something, music, writing, sports whatever it is. And if you have something your into right now. Make it known. You just need to wake up every morning and think about life. Not the fact that your mother never cooked or you dont have a boyfriend. You have to heal yourself before you let anyone else is. I know corny but really its so true. You just have to be happy and by doing that by telling yourself everyday that your ok, your alive and well little by little you can see all the other pieces fall into place.

Meditation is highly recommended. 15 min a day try to just sit or lay down and breath. On counts of 4. Let all the negative out of you. The only way you can do that is by truly trying. Im sure your beautiful, and loving. Focus on your friends. Sometimes friends are better than family cause you chose them. Im no expert but ive been there and Ive helped my friends. Just tell yourself its easy and it is. Tell yourself you feel sorry, and your sad wont make it better. Really you can get through this. SOmetimes it also takes helping someone else to help yourself. I hope you find what it is your after. Just know this is the time to make mistakes and learn and do it all over again! We're young, people forget about the most important things in life.

Blessed Be! :)

[dwt7let]

Hi
No wonder your feeling down we all just neem some TLC and to feel loved, your mother is in the wrong for treating you that way.
Try and look after yourself it's not an easy situation do you work can you afford to move
out if so I agree do that there's nothing like peace of mind.
This enviroment is damaging, don't let it effect you any longer if needs be. If you carn't afford to move out start planning it have a goal. Get yourself stronger and work towards
it this will keep you going!!!
Good Luck
Love
Lorraine xxxx

[therese83]

Try to move out, you are an adult now.

Don't beg for your mothers love, it is very hard if she is favoring your sister, but bad on her, that is her problem.

It is time now to break free if you can

[wineandroses]

Hi, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time at home.  If I am understanding you, it's not the fact that your Mom is not cooking for you but that she seems to favor your sister over you...is that right?  Have you ever just sit down with your Mom and tell her the way you feel?  Perhaps you Mother is not aware she is favoring one over the other, perhaps you are seeing something that needs to be brought to her attention.  Perhaps you are misunderstanding what is going on or perhaps your Mom is not being a very good Mom.  I really think you should talk to her about this and get everything out in the open.
Have you discussed this with your sister?  What does she see?

Something else that I strongly suggest is that you get with a therapist and talk with him/her of you feelings and what is going on with your Mom.  I am so very sorry this is happening to you and I sincerely hope you get with your Mom and a therapist.