how to control it?

[Alexis001]

something happened that changed the course of my life, and i have been depressed for a month now. Not only have i been unable to sleep, get out of bed and get my appetite back, im also suffering physically.. I haven't had my period for a month, my stomache is killing me, same goes for my head.. I haven't been out of the house for a month and whenever i get ready to go out i back down and stay home bcz i know that, while being outside, all i'll be thinking of is when i'll get back home.. I don't even have the energy to take a bath, all i ever do is cry and it has made me sick i'm actually taking pills to get my period and im feverish all the time i'm sick of being in pain i'm sick of meds i feel old even though i'm only 19! I asked my bf for a break and i'm not talking to my friends nor to my family, even though i'm desperate for someone to hear me out.. When i look at myself in the mirror i feel so ugly my face is always pale bcz of what i'm going through and this isn't encouraging me to go out and see my bf.. I have real low self esteem.. Can anyone plz give me tips to get rid of this? I don't want to see a doctor nor a psychologist.. I just want to deal with this alone

[mandy876]

you are only 19 i have all your systems but i am 71 i lost my dad had breast surgery lost my husband took care of my mom with alzeimers and conjestive heart failure.  my family wanted me to put her in a home i would not treat my sweet mom like that. when she died i lost the only reason for living my dreams and any hope for a future were gone. barely talk to my sis she was not there at all for any of us.  you are so young and a long life to go. find a good doc and please dicuss side effects of meds.  god bless you my heart goes out to you gloria

[MMahon]

Greenlydia was 'spot on' in her response to you.  Something 'changed the course of your llfe'
and obviously whatever that was has impacted you severely.  You are unable to get over whatever that was on your own.  Major things happen to everyone during the course of their lives.  What's different is how we react to them and our physical ability to 'deal or cope' with them.   Some people get colds and it barely effects them, while others are in bed for days and spiral into pneumonia, etc..   This situation isn't much different.  
Save yourself a lot of suffering and sorrow and see your GP and get a good physical.  Get a referral to a psychiatrist who is best equipped to deal with what you are experiencing.
Take care and let us know how you make out.

[RubyWitch]

In my humble and non-medical opinion, I think you are in a serious clinical depression and you're just going to keep going down if you don't reach out for help. Most people can help themselves out of a mild "life" depression with a little effort, but a clinical depression affects our minds and how we think because chemical changes have taken place. We can't talk ourselves out of those. They require medication to bring things back into balance and it goes much faster if we combine that with talk therapy. Why are you against utilizing either or both of these aids?
If you don't get help soon, you could develope agroaphobia and if that happens, you won't be ABLE to leave you house..........I mean that very literally. You will NOT be able to walk out your front door.
You are so very young for all this baggage. You say no psychologists and no medication, you're sick of doctors for other medical reasons..............so unfortunately I have no other alternative for you. You could go to our Alternative Medicine Forum and see if they can help you with natural, herbal remedies.
If there is an older adult in your life whom you trust, I would advise sharing this post with them and asking their advice.
I don't believe you have anything that can't be fixed and even though it would take you a fair bit of time to work through all your issues, you have so many years ahead of you that could full of happiness or sadness...........and that choice is all yours.
I hope you choose to fight.
Peace
Greenlydia